Date Smarter. Sexier.

S5E11: The Status Quo: Unraveling Our Obsession With Relationship Statuses Summary In this episode of Date Smarter Sexier, host Andrea LaRosa explores the phenomenon of perseveration in dating and relationships. She begins by discussing the waiting game after a great first date and how it can lead to constant checking of phones and overthinking. Andrea then explains the shift from dating to a committed relationship and the uncertainty that comes with it. She delves into the reasons why people perseverate on their relationship status, including societal pressure and the comparison trap. Andrea emphasizes the importance of embracing one's current status and advocating for oneself in relationships. Takeaways The beginning stages of a relationship can be filled with uncertainty and overthinking. Societal pressure and the comparison trap contribute to perseverating on relationship status. Being comfortable with your singlehood and embracing your current status is important. Effective communication and advocating for yourself are key in navigating relationships. Chapters 00:00 Introduction: The Waiting Game 01:12 The Shift from Dating to Relationship 07:35 Reasons for Perseverating on Relationship Status 09:18 Societal Pressure 12:35 The Comparison Trap 13:26 Inner Workings and Relationship with Self 16:24 Embracing Your Current Status 21:39 Conclusion: The Only Status that Matters For more information: www.datesmartermatchmaking.com IG & FB: @datesmartercoach YouTube: @datesmarter TikTok: @datesmarter ______________________________ Region: Use code DateSmarter10 for 10% off any wine purchase Opulence Boutique: Shop online or in the store and use code DATECHIC for 15% off https://shopopulence.net/

Summary In this conversation, Andrea and Julia explore the topic of managing expectations in dating and relationships. They start by doing a tarot card reading to gain guidance on managing expectations. They discuss the importance of being open-minded and not getting stuck in patterns that haven't worked in the past. They also touch on the pressure to look younger and fit in the dating world. They emphasize the need for depth and shared values in relationships, rather than solely focusing on physical attributes. They conclude by highlighting the impact of physical fitness on a healthy sex life. In this conversation, Julia and Andrea discuss various aspects of sexual intimacy and communication. They cover topics such as navigating first-time experiences, giving and receiving direction, exploring new experiences, and understanding individual preferences. They emphasize the importance of open-mindedness, effective communication, and managing expectations in order to create fulfilling sexual relationships. Overall, the conversation highlights the need for honest and open dialogue to enhance intimacy and pleasure. Takeaways Focus on one area at a time when exploring sexual intimacy. Communication and feedback are crucial for a satisfying sexual experience. Be open-minded and willing to explore new experiences. Understand that individual preferences and pleasure vary. Effective communication and managing expectations are key to creating fulfilling sexual relationships. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Tarot Card Reading 03:23 Managing Expectations in Relationships 08:07 Interpreting the Tarot Card Reading 13:14 The Role of Tarot Cards in Dating and Relationships 16:01 The Importance of Being Open-Minded 21:12 The Pressure to Look Younger and Fit 28:34 Managing Expectations and Finding Common Ground 33:09 The Importance of Depth in Relationships 35:13 The Impact of Physical Fitness on Sex Life 37:06 Covering all the bases 38:29 Navigating first-time experiences 39:51 Communication and feedback 41:46 Giving and receiving direction 42:46 Importance of communication in intimacy 43:56 Exploring new experiences 45:17 Understanding individual preferences 46:33 The mental aspect of pleasure 48:23 Managing expectations

Summary In this conversation, Andrea discusses the concept of the high value woman and addresses the debates and pushback she has received. She explores the definition of a unicorn and questions whether the high value woman can be considered a unicorn. Andrea then outlines the seven elements that make up a high value woman, including independence, the willingness to walk away, and self-awareness. She emphasizes that high value is subjective and encourages individuals to define their own value. Andrea also discusses traits that may not align with high value and the importance of self-reflection. Takeaways High value is a subjective concept and can be defined differently by individuals. The high value woman is not a unicorn, but rather someone who possesses qualities such as independence, self-awareness, and the willingness to walk away. Low value traits include lack of self-respect, over-dependency, dishonesty, manipulation, and unwillingness to communicate or compromise. It is important to define value for oneself and focus on personal growth and self-improvement. Get the Girl: Dating the High Value Woman: https://a.co/d/9xqamWm Defining the HVW Wrote the book on it! My list are possibilities, there is no hard and fast rule This is how I define HV but someone else can define it differently, that’s the beauty of having choice and being able to think for ourselves If he isn’t college educated does that mean he’s not high value? Experts in the dating world are defining HVW by their status Defining the Unicorn something unusual, rare, or unique. A person who is very attractive AND has a fabulous personality YouTube video that went viral about the what a unicorn is Does that mean anyone else is of low value? Define a low value, it’s subjective Does a woman who lacks self esteem and likes to pick fights a HVW? Lack of Self-Respect: This can manifest in many ways, like constantly putting oneself down, tolerating disrespectful behavior from others, or not standing up for one's own needs and boundaries. Gym pics or half naked selfies Over-Dependence: While interdependence is healthy in a relationship, over-dependence, either emotionally or financially, without the effort to contribute or improve oneself, can be viewed negatively. Dishonesty and Manipulation: Consistently being dishonest, playing mind games, or manipulating others for personal gain can definitely be seen as "low value" traits. Lack of Ambition or Drive: Having no personal goals, ambitions, or the desire to grow can be a turn-off for many. This isn't about financial success per se, but more about having a passion and zest for life. Unwillingness to Communicate or Compromise: Relationships are a two-way street. An inability or unwillingness to communicate effectively, listen to a partner’s needs, or compromise can hinder the growth of a healthy relationship. Chronic Negativity: Constant pessimism, complaining, or seeing the worst in every situation can be draining and unattractive to potential partners. Irresponsibility: This could be in terms of finances, career, personal health, or other obligations. Consistently shirking responsibilities can be a sign of immaturity and unreliability. Hostility or Abusive Behavior: Engaging in verbal, emotional, or physical abuse is not only a "low value" trait but is entirely unacceptable in any relationship. Lack of Empathy: Being unable or unwilling to understand or share the feelings of others can be a major red flag in relationships. Superficiality and Materialism: Focusing solely on surface-level attributes such as looks, money, or social status, while neglecting deeper values and connections. Who decides what to value? The idea of High Value has spiraled Why we label as HVW because men have been saying how they are attracted to strong independent women, which could be defined as HV We don’t like labels The fight around HV is about saying that if you’re not HV then you must be low value Not...

Summary: In this thrilling episode of "Date Smarter Sexier," we delve into the shadowy world of romance scams, a digital-age Cupid’s arrow gone awry. Imagine this: 70,000 heartbreaks and a staggering $1.3 billion lost in 2022 alone! We unravel the devious 'Pig Butchering' scam, where charmers turn into financial butchers, and share bone-chilling real-life tales, from a fake surgeon to an oil rig Casanova. Our experts arm you with red flags to watch for and lifesaving tips like reverse image searches and consulting a love "board of advisors." It's not just about the scams; it's about staying smart, sexy, and above all, safe in the perilous quest for love. Tune in and learn how to protect your heart and your wallet in the world of modern dating. Chapters: Understanding Romance Scams Pig Butchering Scams: A Deep Dive Spotting the Red Flags Real Stories of Victims Navigating Out of Scam Webs

Summary In this episode, Andrea discusses the complexities of dating labels and the challenges they present in the early stages of a relationship. She explores the different terms used to describe the various phases of dating, such as talking, casual, hanging out, dating, exclusive, and situationship. Andrea emphasizes the importance of clear communication and defining what these labels mean to each individual. She also addresses the fear of getting hurt and the healing process that follows. Additionally, Andrea delves into the differences between exclusivity and monogamy, as well as the gray areas of situationships. She provides guidance on how to have conversations about labels and offers insights on understanding where you stand in a relationship. The key takeaway is to focus on the behavior and needs within the relationship rather than getting caught up in the labels. Takeaways Clear communication and defining labels are crucial in the early stages of dating. Different terms like talking, casual, hanging out, dating, exclusive, and situationship have different meanings to different people. The fear of getting hurt can impact the way we approach relationships. Defining the relationship and understanding each other's pace is important. There is a difference between exclusivity and monogamy. Situationships can be complex and require open communication. Having conversations about labels can be uncomfortable but necessary. Understanding where you stand in a relationship is essential for your emotional well-being. Pay attention to behavior and whether your needs are being met rather than focusing solely on labels. The most important aspect of dating is to keep learning and growing. For more information: www.datesmartermatchmaking.com IG & FB: @datesmartercoach YouTube: @datesmarter TikTok: @datesmarter ___________________________________ Region: Use code DateSmarter10 for 10% off any wine purchase Opulence Boutique: Shop online or in the store and use code DATECHIC for 15% off https://shopopulence.net/

Dave Cooke is a seasoned business consultant and communication expert with a focus on improving listening behaviors. With over forty years of experience in sales, relationship development, and strategic advising, Dave excels in helping organizations and leaders enhance communication and problem-solving through his Selfless Listening program. This program aids in building trust, fostering better relationships, and promoting effective teamwork and collaboration. Additionally, Dave has successfully applied these techniques in assisting parents with children facing substance abuse challenges. His guiding principle, "open your eyes, ears, heart, and mind," underpins his belief that effective listening can transform interactions and relationships. Dave is also an accomplished podcaster, author, speaker, and executive coach Summary In this episode, Andrea and David Cooke discuss the importance of listening in effective communication. They explore the difference between listening and hearing, and the impact of technology on listening skills. They also discuss the power of nonverbal cues and the importance of silence in communication. Additionally, they share insights on effective communication in relationships and navigating communication challenges. The conversation explores the importance of creating a safe space for authenticity and active listening. It provides insights on improving listening skills in a Zoom era and being an active listener without a mirror. The conversation also discusses the significance of flipping the phone over as a signal of attention and the importance of being authentic in communication. Takeaways Listening is a key element in effective communication and building trust. Nonverbal cues, such as eye contact and facial expressions, play a crucial role in active listening. Technology can be a distraction in communication, and it is important to create boundaries to stay present in conversations. Internalizing information and demonstrating understanding are essential in effective listening. Effective communication in relationships requires understanding and respecting each other's communication styles and setting clear expectations. Create a safe space for others to be authentic by being authentic yourself. Practice active listening in virtual meetings by focusing on the other person's face and body language. Improve listening skills by avoiding distractions like phones and watches. Flipping the phone over can signal to the other person that you are giving them your full attention. Be authentic in your communication and don't try to be someone you're not. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Importance of Listening 04:04 The Importance of Listening and Building Trust 05:11 Recognizing Active Listening 06:19 Nonverbal Cues of Active Listening 08:06 Understanding Facial Expressions 09:20 Dealing with Distractions 11:12 The Impact of Technology on Listening 13:34 The Difference Between Listening and Hearing 14:55 The Power of Internalizing Information 18:40 Balancing Body Language and Verbal Affirmations 21:28 The Importance of Silence in Communication 25:10 Effective Communication in Relationships 28:01 Understanding Differences in Communication Styles 30:42 Setting Clear Expectations in Communication 34:25 Navigating Communication Challenges in Relationships 38:03 Creating a Safe Space for Authenticity 40:20 Improving Listening Skills in a Zoom Era 41:23 Being an Active Listener without a Mirror 43:49 Flipping the Phone Over as a Signal of Attention 45:30 Being Authentic in Communication 50:12 Creating a Safe Space for Authenticity For more information: dave@thecookegroupllc.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidcooke/ https://www.thecookegroupllc.com/

Summary In this episode, Andrea discusses the concept of cuffing season, which refers to the time of year when singles are more inclined to enter into a romantic relationship. She explores the reasons behind cuffing season, such as the desire for warmth and companionship during the colder months and the societal pressure to be in a relationship during the holidays. Andrea also highlights the challenges of cuffing season, including rushed decisions and the potential for relationships to end in the spring. She provides tips for navigating cuffing season, such as knowing oneself, communicating expectations, and enjoying the season regardless of relationship status. Andrea concludes by emphasizing the importance of prioritizing one's own happiness and being open to finding love during cuffing season. Takeaways Cuffing season refers to the time of year when singles are more inclined to enter into a romantic relationship. The desire for warmth and companionship during the colder months and societal pressure during the holidays contribute to cuffing season. Challenges of cuffing season include rushed decisions and the potential for relationships to end in the spring. Tips for navigating cuffing season include knowing oneself, communicating expectations, and enjoying the season regardless of relationship status. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Cuffing Season 01:28 Reasons for Cuffing Season 04:13 The Pressure of Cuffing Season 06:03 Rushed Decisions and Expiration Date 06:56 Reevaluating Relationships in Spring 08:21 Navigating Cuffing Season 12:42 Cuffing Season and Situationships 13:12 Finding Love During Cuffing Season 16:19 Dating or Not During Cuffing Season 18:50 Conclusion Region: Use code DateSmarter10 for 10% off any wine purchase Opulence Boutique: Shop online or in the store and use code DATECHIC for 15% off https://shopopulence.net/ For more information: www.datesmartermatchmaking.com

Summary In this episode, Andrea discusses the importance of talking less on first dates and explores alternative ways to connect with your date. She emphasizes the power of silence, the significance of body language, the value of shared experiences, and the art of active listening. By finding a balance between talking and listening, you can create a more meaningful and memorable first date. Takeaways Avoid turning a first date into an interview by refraining from asking traditional questions. Embrace moments of silence and use them as an opportunity to connect on a deeper level. Pay attention to body language, as it can reveal more about a person than their words. Engage in shared experiences on first dates to create a bond and showcase problem-solving skills. Practice active listening and find the right balance between talking and listening. Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Less is More on First Dates 02:12 Chapter 1: The Power of Silence 05:54 Chapter 2: Body Language 09:12 Chapter 3: Shared Experiences 13:00 Chapter 4: Active Listening 17:35 Conclusion: Less Talking, More Connecting Watch the Masterclass on first date body language: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfcAOrboWH0&t=2s For more information: www.datesmartermatchmaking.com

Summary Get ready for a rollercoaster of an episode with Andrea and Chris on "Date Smarter Sexier"! They're diving deep into the mysterious world of modern dating. Ever wondered why men vanish without a trace? They're tackling the intriguing reasons behind ghosting and unraveling the complex art of breadcrumbing. Hold on, as they use the fishing analogy to explain why some men keep their options wide open, and dissect the fear of commitment that haunts many. It's a wild ride through the challenges of dating multiple people and the intense pressure to build an empire. Brace yourself for an honest conversation about the struggle to express emotions and the tempting escape of ghosting. They're not shying away from the hot topic of entitlement and the pursuit of a higher 'rating' in the dating game. The episode reaches a thrilling climax with a bold discussion on the pitfalls of Facebook groups and the fear of being exposed in the digital age. But that's not all! Chris and Andrea also delve into the magnetic allure of feminine energy, the delicate timing of sexual activity, and the profound impact of sex on bonding. They're bringing mindfulness into dating, urging us to savor the journey and cherish the age-old art of courting. This episode is a treasure trove of insights on love, relationships, and everything in between. Tune in for a mesmerizing exploration of the heart's deepest desires and fears. Don't miss this electrifying episode of "Date Smarter Sexier"! Contact: Chris Gillis: IG and TikTok: @ConsultantChris Website: www.ConsultantChris.com For more information: www.datesmartermatchmaking.com Chapters 00:00 Introduction 01:35 Why Do Men Ghost? 04:32 The Lure of the Unicorn 07:48 Fear of Expressing Emotions 10:26 Taking Ownership of Ghosting 14:16 The Entitlement Issue 19:08 The Independent Woman Dilemma 25:15 The Disappointment of Settling 30:26 Making Him Feel Appreciated 37:20 The Fear of Being Exposed 40:11 The Attraction of Feminine Energy 41:06 The Timing of Sexual Activity 45:07 Being Mindful in Dating 47:28 Appreciating the Courting Process 47:52 Closing Remarks and Contact Information For more information go to: www.datesmartermatchmaking.com

In this insightful and engaging episode of "Date Smarter Sexier," we delve into a topic that's both crucial and often tiptoed around: the use of condoms in the dating world. Joined by the ever-charismatic Canaan, we embark on a frank discussion about the importance of condom usage for safe and responsible dating. The episode kicks off with a light-hearted yet informative exploration of the basics of condom use, emphasizing not just the 'how' but the 'why' behind this essential practice. Canaan, with his unique blend of humor and expertise, and your show host, Andrea LaRosa, help demystify misconceptions and apprehensions surrounding condom usage. As we dive deeper, the conversation shifts to address some of the challenges and obstacles people often face. We talk about the awkwardness that can arise in conversations about condoms with new partners, the myths versus facts about pleasure and sensitivity, and how to navigate situations where opinions about condom use differ. This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the modern dating scene, offering a perfect mix of lighthearted banter and serious, thoughtful discussion about an issue that impacts everyone in the dating world. For more information go to: www.datesmartermatchmaking.com

Summary Get ready for a brand new season of "Date Smarter Sexier" with your fabulous host, Andrea LaRosa! This season kicks off with a bang as Andrea dives into the exciting and often overlooked world of dating in life's golden years. 🌟 In this must-listen episode, Andrea shares eye-opening insights from her experience watching "The Golden Bachelor", shedding light on the unique challenges and adventures faced by mature singles in the quest for love. It's a fascinating journey into the heart of the dating scene for older individuals. But wait, there's more! Andrea doesn't just explore the hurdles; she celebrates the incredible benefits of dating later in life. Get ready to be inspired by her expert tips for successful and joyous mature dating. She's talking about embracing technology with a zest for life, the art of patience in love, and the absolute necessity of open, honest communication. And here's the heartwarming part: Andrea's passionate call to appreciate and support older adults as they navigate their dating journeys. This episode isn't just informative; it's a heartfelt tribute to the timeless nature of love and romance. So, grab your headphones and prepare to be enlightened, entertained, and inspired. This episode of "Date Smarter Sexier" is an absolute game-changer for anyone interested in the rich tapestry of mature dating. Tune in now and join Andrea on this remarkable journey! Takeaways Dating in the later stages of life can present unique challenges, such as navigating technology and family dynamics. However, there are also benefits to dating later in life, including a depth of experience and clear priorities. Tips for successful mature dating include embracing technology, staying patient, and maintaining open communication. It is important to appreciate and support older adults in their dating journeys. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to a New Season 02:05 Dating in the Later Stages of Life 06:02 Challenges of Dating When You're Older 12:17 Benefits of Dating Later in Life 15:24 Tips for Successful Mature Dating For more information go to: www.datesmartermatchmaking.com

In this episode of "Date Smarter. Sexier.", matchmaker and dating expert, Andrea LaRosa discuss ways to have better relationships with lovers, platonic and self with her co-host and producer, Canaan John Dewey. Season 5 Starts 10.20.2023 Follow: Andrea www.datesmartersexier.com Canaan www.canaandewey.com Send your questions to: datesmarterpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on IG: @datesmartershow Facebook Groups: Date Smarter Singles & Date Smarter Sexier - *Episode Sponsored by The GENTLEMN Company

In this episode of "Date Smarter. Sexier.", matchmaker and dating expert, Andrea LaRosa discuss shaming and jealousy within dating and relationships with her co-host and producer, Canaan John Dewey. Follow: Andrea www.datesmartersexier.com Canaan www.canaandewey.com Send your questions to: datesmarterpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on IG: @datesmartershow Facebook Groups: Date Smarter Singles & Date Smarter Sexier - *Episode Sponsored by The GENTLEMN Company

In this episode of "Date Smarter. Sexier.", matchmaker and dating expert, Andrea LaRosa discuss effective ways to survive life and peer pressure when dating or in a relationship with her co-host and producer, Canaan John Dewey. Follow: Andrea www.datesmartersexier.com Canaan www.canaandewey.com Send your questions to: datesmarterpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on IG: @datesmartershow Facebook Groups: Date Smarter Singles & Date Smarter Sexier - *Episode Sponsored by The GENTLEMN Company

In this episode of "Date Smarter. Sexier.", matchmaker and dating expert, Andrea LaRosa discusses opposite spectrums for some modern couples; managing long-distance relationship expectations and how to work from home together and keep the spark alive with her co-host and producer, Canaan Dewey. Follow: Andrea www.datesmartersexier.com Canaan www.canaandewey.com Send your questions to: datesmarterpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on IG: @datesmartershow Facebook Groups: Date Smarter Singles & Date Smarter Sexier - *Episode Sponsored by The GENTLEMN Company

In this episode of "Date Smarter. Sexier.", matchmaker and dating expert, Andrea LaRosa discusses strengthening the relationship we have with outselves with solo trips with her co-host and producer, Canaan Dewey. Follow: Andrea www.datesmartersexier.com Canaan www.canaandewey.com Send your questions to: datesmarterpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on IG: @datesmartershow Facebook Groups: Date Smarter Singles & Date Smarter Sexier - *Episode Sponsored by The GENTLEMN Company

In this episode of "Date Smarter. Sexier.", matchmaker and dating expert, Andrea LaRosa is answering your questions about love, dating and relationships with her co-host and producer, Canaan Dewey. Follow: Andrea www.datesmartersexier.com Canaan www.canaandewey.com Send your questions to: datesmarterpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on IG: @datesmartershow Facebook Groups: Date Smarter Singles & Date Smarter Sexier - *Episode Sponsored by The GENTLEMN Company

In this episode of "Date Smarter. Sexier.", matchmaker and dating expert, Andrea LaRosa discuss how grief can have a significant impact on relationships with her co-host and producer, Canaan John Dewey. Follow: Andrea www.datesmartersexier.com Canaan www.canaandewey.com Send your questions to: datesmarterpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on IG: @datesmartershow Facebook Groups: Date Smarter Singles & Date Smarter Sexier - *Episode Sponsored by The GENTLEMN Company

In this episode of "Date Smarter. Sexier.", matchmaker and dating expert, Andrea LaRosa discusses whatever comes to mind about love, dating, sex and relationships with her co-host and producer, Canaan John Dewey. Follow: Andrea www.datesmartersexier.com Canaan www.canaandewey.com Send your questions to: datesmarterpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on IG: @datesmartershow Facebook Groups: Date Smarter Singles & Date Smarter Sexier - *Episode Sponsored by The GENTLEMN Company

In this episode of "Date Smarter. Sexier.", matchmaker and dating expert, Andrea LaRosa discuss how and when to salvage a broken relationship with her co-host and producer, Canaan John Dewey. Follow: Andrea www.datesmartersexier.com Canaan www.canaandewey.com Send your questions to: datesmarterpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on IG: @datesmartershow Facebook Groups: Date Smarter Singles & Date Smarter Sexier - *Episode Sponsored by The GENTLEMN Company