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Get Sex-Smart

Adult Content

Are you looking to improve your sex life and relationships and explore your sexuality? With compassion and humor, Get Sex-Smart offers real, practical and positive information to help you reclaim your sexual pleasure and confidence. Hosted by Dr. Valeria Chuba, Clinical Sexologist and Sex & Relationship Coach.

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United States

Description:

Are you looking to improve your sex life and relationships and explore your sexuality? With compassion and humor, Get Sex-Smart offers real, practical and positive information to help you reclaim your sexual pleasure and confidence. Hosted by Dr. Valeria Chuba, Clinical Sexologist and Sex & Relationship Coach.

Language:

English


Episodes
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E98: Lesbian and Straight Women - Who Has Better Sex, and Why?

11/30/2018
Recent studies show that there is a big orgasm gap between men in women: roughly 65% of heterosexual women orgasm in partner sex, compared to an overwhelming 95% of heterosexual men. What's really interesting though is that lesbian women's orgasm rates are very close to those of heterosexual men at 85%. On today's episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin talk about some of the reasons why orgasm rates are so much higher in lesbian women, and what contributes to their superior sexual satisfaction compared to heterosexual women. EPISODE NOTES: Guardian article, "Do Lesbians Have Better Sex Than Straight Women?" https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jul/09/do-lesbians-have-better-sex-than-straight-women

Duration:00:39:09

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E97: Breaking Up: Why It's Hard, and How to Make It Better

10/26/2018
Breakups are often painful, heartbreaking, and difficult to navigate. In this episode, Sarah Martin shares her recent personal experience of breakup and chats with Dr. Valeria about the newest science of breakups; why we are often so bad at breaking up; and what we can do to reduce the pain of ending our relationships. EPISODE NOTES: Break up as a signifiant stress event, and "broken heart" syndrome: https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/can-you-die-broken-heart-science-proves-broken-heart-syndrome-ncna847831

Duration:00:44:02

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E 96: Low Libido in Men: Why It Happens and What Can Help

9/28/2018
In contrast to popular opinion, low libido and decreased sexual desire in men are actually very common. Many men struggle with the effects that loss of libido has on their self-esteem and relationships. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin talk about the causes of low libido in men, how it affects men, and what can help.

Duration:00:33:56

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E95: Arousal Non-Concordance: How It Can Change Your Sex Life

9/14/2018
In today's episode, Dr. Valeria and Sarah Martin break down the groundbreaking concept of arousal non-concordance. Simply put, our physical (genital) arousal doesn't always match our psychological arousal. This dramatically changes the way we view sexual desire, pleasure and consent. Tune in to learn why arousal non-concordance is important, and how it can change your sex life. EPISODE NOTES: Emily Nagoski's Ted Talk, "The Truth About Unwanted Arousal" (a must wath!) https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_nagoski_the_truth_about_unwanted_arousal?language=en

Duration:00:31:28

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E94: High Libido Women: Why It's Hard to Be a Woman Who Loves Sex

9/5/2018
Get Sex-Smart is back from the summer break! In today's episode, Dr. Valeria and Sarah Martin chat about high libido women. Conventional thinking tells us that men tend to be more interested in sex than women and that women with high libidos are rare. But how true is that? And, while many men say that they would love for their female partner to be more sexually assertive, what actually happens when a woman wants sex more than her male partner? We answer these questions and more in this episode. EPISODE NOTES: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski: https://amzn.to/2PGjmbA

Duration:00:36:22

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E92: Is Sexual Scarcity Real & Do We Have the Right to Sex?

7/5/2018
In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin take a look at the concept of "sexual scarcity" or lack of sex, and the idea of the right to sex (or as some would call it, sexual entitlement). Tune in to find out how the sexual scarcity mindset affects our intimate relationships and sexual satisfaction, and how we can positively address the real feelings of frustration, sexual shame and disconnect that are the driving force behind this mindset. EPISODE NOTES: Amia Srinivasan's essay in London Review of Books: https://www.lrb.co.uk/v40/n06/amia-srinivasan/does-anyone-have-the-right-to-sex

Duration:00:54:57

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E89: Secrets vs Privacy: What Info Should You Share With Your Sexual Partners?

5/31/2018
When it comes to sex, most of us have a past, along with some secrets and information that we keep private. But with relationships comes an expectation of sharing. So, what exactly should you be sharing with your partners, and how much? In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin talk about what is reasonable to keep to yourself and what should be revealed in sexual relationships. Specifically, they discuss what to reveal and what to keep private about your sexual health; sexual history, number of partners, and past sexual behavior; history of infidelity and expectations of monogamy; masturbation and porn viewing habits; sexual fantasies; and past sexual trauma and abuse.

Duration:01:12:26

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E88: Unsolicited "Dick Pics": Why Do Men Send Them?

5/10/2018
Unsolicited "dick pics" have become ubiquitous in popular culture. Pretty much any woman who tries online dating inevitably ends up receiving her share of unwanted images of men's genitalia. So, why are men so keen on sharing photos of their penises with unsuspecting women? In this episode of the Get Sex-Smart podcast, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin discuss the most common reasons why men like to send dick pics, and the pros and cons of doing so in dating situations. EPISODE NOTES https://www.refinery29.com/why-men-send-nude-dick-pictures https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/los-angeles/we-sent-a-preemptive-v-pic-before-dudes-could-send-dick-pics-heres-what-happened http://www.dazeddigital.com/artsandculture/article/30873/1/the-woman-turning-unsolicited-dick-pics-into-art

Duration:01:01:04

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E87: Should Women Make Men Wait for Sex in New Relationships?

4/28/2018
Many dating experts specializing in heterosexual relationships believe that women should make men wait before having sex for the first time. Some believe that withholding sex creates a challenge so many men crave and increases a woman's value; others say that securing a commitment from a man before rewarding him with sex leads to a more secure relationship. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin take on this type of dating advice; discuss what possible consequences it may have for these couples' sex lives; and give their own view of how first time sex should be handled in new relationships. EPISODE NOTES: Ted Talk by Al Vernacchio, "Sex Needs a New Metaphor" https://www.ted.com/talks/al_vernacchio_sex_needs_a_new_metaphor_here_s_one

Duration:01:00:18

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E86: Can Having Sex Make You Better at Your Job?

4/19/2018
Having an active sex life with our partners often has a positive effect on our relationships. But did you know that having sex can help you perform better at work? In a recent study published in the Journal of Management, researchers found that when employees had sex at home, they reported feeling good at work the next day, as well as feeling more engaged and performing better. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin take a closer look at the study and discuss its potential for improving both our work lives and our sex lives. EPISODE NOTES: From the Bedroom to the Office study: http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0149206317698022?journalCode=joma Swedish sex leave for workers story: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/18/world/europe/sweden-sex-leave-town.html

Duration:00:38:03

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E85: Seven Bad Sex Moves That Can Get Guys "Banned"

4/12/2018
Sex-positive comprehensive sex education is rare in many places in the world, including the United States. For those of us trying to have sexual relationships, this means just doing our best and hoping it works. Unfortunately, our best often comes from porn, which was never designed to be an accurate representation of what sex actually looks like. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin talk about seven types of sex "moves" or behaviors, many of which men learn from porn, which end up turning women off in a big way and getting those guys "banned".

Duration:00:42:55

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E84: Is Viagra Actually Good for Your Sex Life?

3/29/2018
This year marks the 20th anniversary of Viagra, an erectile dysfunction drug that revolutionized the pharmaceutical industry and changed our sex lives forever. But is Viagra actually good for our sex lives? The answers may surprise you. Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin discuss the positive and negative sides of Viagra, and share their ideas on how to incorporate Viagra into your sex life for maximum benefit.

Duration:00:31:51

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E83: Surrogate Partner Therapy: How It Can Help You

3/15/2018
Surrogate partner therapy isn't very well known to the general public, aside from receiving the Hollywood treatment in the movie "The Sessions". In truth, surrogate partner therapy can be an extremely effective and powerful healing modality for people suffering from a variety of relationship, intimacy and sexuality challenges. In this episode, Dr. Valeria interviews Andrew Heartman, IPSA certified surrogate partner, about what surrogate partner therapy really is about and how it can help us improve our sex lives. EPISODE NOTES: IPSA: http://www.surrogatetherapy.org/ Andrew Heartman's website: http://surrogatepartner.us/ Human Awareness Institute: https://www1.hai.org/ This Is Life with Lisa Ling (CNN series), Episode "Sexual Healing" (Season 4, Episode 1) https://www.cnn.com/shows/this-is-life-with-lisa-ling

Duration:00:46:09

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E82: Infidelity: Why Do We Cheat?

3/8/2018
Infidelity is one of the most painful, divisive and contested relationship topics out there. With high rates of self-reported cheating, it is a very real problem that affects a lot of people. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin discuss eight common reasons why people cheat (according to a new study); why these reasons are so common; and how we can navigate the complex world of relationships to better deal with the threat of infidelity. EPISODE NOTES: 8 Main Reasons Why People Cheat (article): https://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2018/2/16/these-are-the-8-main-reasons-people-cheat

Duration:00:49:32

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E80: Five New Innovations That May Change Our Sex Lives

2/15/2018
It seems like every week now there is a new and exciting discovery happening in the field of sexuality. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin discuss the five most recent sex-related innovations that are promising to be helpful, interesting, and even a bit controversial. The innovations include a new online STI testing app; a streaming-based online sex ed school; an invention that aims to normalize sexual desire by applying electro-stimulation to the brain; and two groundbreaking sex toys. EPISODE NOTES: Biem, STI testing app: http://biemteam.com O.school: https://www.o.school BrainStim by Liberos: https://liberoscenter.com/brainstim-2/ Eva II, hands-free vibrator: https://www.dameproducts.com/products/eva b-Vibe rimming plug: https://www.bvibe.com/vibrating-anal-toys/rimming-plug-2.html

Duration:00:36:43

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E79: What's the Deal with Microcheating?

2/1/2018
Microcheating is a term that has recently become popular on social media. It refers to a pattern of seemingly small behaviors that indicate that your partner may be excessively focused on someone else (emotionally or physically). But is microcheating really a thing that we should be concerned about? In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin share their opinions on microcheating, its validity, and what it may mean for our intimate relationships.

Duration:00:34:11

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E78: 2017 Best in Sex & How to Make Sexual New Year Resolutions

1/18/2018
Get Sex-Smart is back after a holiday break, and in this first episode of the new year Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin say goodbye to 2017 with a list of their favorite sex-related scientific discoveries and events that took place last year. They also share their favorite Get Sex-Smart episodes of 2017 and offer tips on making successful sexual resolutions for the New Year.

Duration:00:42:06

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E77: Virginity: Myths, Anxieties, and First Time Partner Sex

12/21/2017
Virginity is a controversial topic in our society, and many people who never had partner sex feel anxious about losing their virginity. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin talk about what is problematic about virginity; the feelings of shame and anxiety many virgins experience; and how virgins can start having enjoyable and fun partner sex. EPISODE NOTES: Scarleteen, an excellent sex ed resource: http://www.scarleteen.com

Duration:00:36:13

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E75: Help, My Partner and I Are Erotically Incompatible

12/7/2017
Many couples face challenges around sexual compatibility, including differences in libido, eroticism, and sexual fantasies and preferences. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin discuss the problem of erotic incompatibility, when one partner's sexual fantasies, fetish or turn ons are different from those of the other partner. We discuss how to manage complicated emotions around erotic incompatibility, ways of communicating and negotiating, and possible solutions.

Duration:00:46:38

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E74: What to Do If Your Partner Is a Virgin

11/30/2017
Studies show that about 8% to 10% of adult population describe themselves as virgins. Partners of virgins often feel the pressure to make first-time sex as good as possible. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin talk about the concept of virginity; what difficulties and anxieties can come with being an adult virgin; how partners of virgins can overcome their own concerns and anxieties about sexual performance; and how to make sure both partners have amazing and pleasurable first-time sex.

Duration:00:39:25