Being Mean
Patricia Eagle
In this richly depicted story, told in vignettes relative to markers of age and experience, Patricia Eagle reveals the heartbreak and destruction of her sexual abuse, from age four to thirteen, by her father. A victim of her father’s anger and her mother’s complacency with his abusive behavior, Eagle uses dissociation and numbing in response to the abuse, and as a way to block her own sense of self.
How does a child confused by episodes of abuse come to know what is safe or unsafe, right or wrong, normal or abnormal? How does a young woman learn the difference between real love and a desire for sexual pleasure stimulated by abusive childhood sexual experiences? Careening through life, Eagle wonders how to trust others and, most importantly, herself. As a mature woman struggling to understand and live with her past, she remains earnest in her pursuit of clarity, compassion, and trust to build a stronger life.
Being Mean is about blocking sexual abuse memories, having them surface, then learning how to acknowledge and live with incomprehensible experiences in the healthiest ways possible.
Duration - 10h 51m.
Author - Patricia Eagle.
Narrator - Tavia Gilbert.
Published Date - Sunday, 22 January 2023.
Copyright - © 2019 Patricia Eagle ©.
Location:
United States
Description:
In this richly depicted story, told in vignettes relative to markers of age and experience, Patricia Eagle reveals the heartbreak and destruction of her sexual abuse, from age four to thirteen, by her father. A victim of her father’s anger and her mother’s complacency with his abusive behavior, Eagle uses dissociation and numbing in response to the abuse, and as a way to block her own sense of self. How does a child confused by episodes of abuse come to know what is safe or unsafe, right or wrong, normal or abnormal? How does a young woman learn the difference between real love and a desire for sexual pleasure stimulated by abusive childhood sexual experiences? Careening through life, Eagle wonders how to trust others and, most importantly, herself. As a mature woman struggling to understand and live with her past, she remains earnest in her pursuit of clarity, compassion, and trust to build a stronger life. Being Mean is about blocking sexual abuse memories, having them surface, then learning how to acknowledge and live with incomprehensible experiences in the healthiest ways possible. Duration - 10h 51m. Author - Patricia Eagle. Narrator - Tavia Gilbert. Published Date - Sunday, 22 January 2023. Copyright - © 2019 Patricia Eagle ©.
Language:
English
Opening Credits
Duration:00:00:30
Foreword
Duration:00:04:59
Author's Note
Duration:00:01:36
Introduction
Duration:00:14:17
1.1 Ready
Duration:00:08:44
1.2 Don't Leave
Duration:00:06:57
1.3 A Stormy Night
Duration:00:02:24
1.4 A Bike Vibrator
Duration:00:05:17
1.5 A Little Dab
Duration:00:10:09
1.6 Is What We
Duration:00:10:04
1.7 One Last Time
Duration:00:08:29
1.8 My Dream Team
Duration:00:07:20
1.9 False Alarm
Duration:00:11:10
1.10 To Thine Own
Duration:00:06:18
1.11 Palm Reading Patty
Duration:00:05:57
1.12 A New Beginning
Duration:00:12:33
1.13 Determined
Duration:00:10:10
1.14 Desperate
Duration:00:13:27
1.15 Chance Encounters
Duration:00:16:20
1.16 Late for My
Duration:00:15:21
1.17 Running Naked
Duration:00:08:07
1.18 An Open Marriage
Duration:00:08:34
1.19 At The Last
Duration:00:05:27
1.20 Careening
Duration:00:06:49
1.21 Grand Canyon
Duration:00:10:19
1.22 Wouldn't I Have
Duration:00:16:07
2.1 That Won't Work
Duration:00:09:04
2.2 Good God
Duration:00:17:40
2.3 In the Care
Duration:00:09:41
2.4 What's in a Name?
Duration:00:10:26
2.5 Shallow Roots
Duration:00:10:22
2.6 Do You Feel?
Duration:00:06:25
2.7 Bird Song
Duration:00:05:13
2.8 Natures Wisdom
Duration:00:09:38
2.9 Baby Blues
Duration:00:06:41
2.10 The Dam Breaks
Duration:00:11:28
3.1 Denial
Duration:00:08:40
3.2 Lift Your Eyes
Duration:00:08:09
3.3 Gotta Have a Dream
Duration:00:15:08
3.4 Getting Better at Life
Duration:00:07:04
3.5 On the Mexican Border
Duration:00:12:21
3.6 Bury the Babies
Duration:00:07:26
3.7 Magic in a Bottle
Duration:00:07:11
3.8 The Canyon
Duration:00:07:16
3.9 All Cleared Out
Duration:00:08:20
3.10 The Hole in My Head
Duration:00:07:57
3.11 Once in a Lifetime
Duration:00:07:14
3.12 Firefly Fields
Duration:00:11:14
3.13 Charter Challenges
Duration:00:10:24
3.14 Paris Rendezvous
Duration:00:07:38
3.15 Velvety Ears
Duration:00:09:11
3.16 Flying Hog
Duration:00:14:52
4.1 A Frightening Notion
Duration:00:07:55
4.2 Flicker Encounters
Duration:00:07:05
4.3 Night Music
Duration:00:05:38
4.4 Snow Geese
Duration:00:04:47
4.5 Ding Dong
Duration:00:04:26
4.6 Into the Petri Dish
Duration:00:08:33
4.7 Diabetic Coma
Duration:00:07:36
4.8 Taking the Time
Duration:00:07:12
4.9 Graced Land
Duration:00:04:44
4.10 Prayer Anyone?
Duration:00:06:06
4.11 The Help Me Prayer
Duration:00:11:35
5.1 A Good Visit
Duration:00:13:20
5.2 The Last Visit
Duration:00:06:23
5.3 Eulogy for Dad
Duration:00:07:08
5.4 Two Teardrops
Duration:00:12:48
5.5 The Last Song
Duration:00:19:41
5.6 Mom's Eulogy
Duration:00:11:15
5.7 Just Like That
Duration:00:06:47
5.8 Having the Space. Making the Time
Duration:00:11:14
6.1 Epilogue
Duration:00:10:20
7.1 Helpful Resources
Duration:00:04:32
8.1 Gratitude
Duration:00:03:05
9.1 About the Author
Duration:00:01:10
Closing Credits
Duration:00:00:44