Embodied

How does living with a condition that is so deeply stigmatized affect who and how we love? Anita meets a mixed-HIV status couple who shares how they've approached sex and intimacy in their 11+ year relationship. Plus, a woman who was born HIV positive talks about dating, disclosure and overcoming the fear of rejection. Meet the guests: - Rainer Oktovianus is a photographer and user experience designer living with HIV - Eka Nasution is a project management professional and Rainer's husband - Diana Koss is a content creator and host of the "Born Positive" YouTube channel Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied

Anita's highly-anticipated (and highly-awkward) first kiss was in eighth grade … but she remembers it like it was yesterday! A scientist tells her why our brains respond so strongly to kissing and how our kissing customs have changed over time. She also unpacks the power of a kiss with a photographer who documents queer Black love in public and three Gen-Zers school her on contemporary kissing culture. Meet the guests: - Sheril Kirshenbaum, science communicator and author of “The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us,” explains what's happening in our brains when our lips touch another person's and digs into the cultural history and evolution of kissing - Kadar Small, photographer, director and filmmaker, shares his photo series "PDA," which aims to highlight and normalize images of Black and brown queer intimacy - Donna Diaz, Parys Smith and Chris Williams, all current and past WUNC Youth reporters, talk together about their first kisses, how they think about boundaries and what makes a good kiss Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied

Anita brings you into part of our family secrets variety show from earlier this year, featuring North Carolina country duo Blue Cactus. She talks with the band about creating and performing an original song inspired by an anonymous secret. The secret was gathered by Song Confessional, an Austin-based podcast that matches songwriters with “confessions.” Meet the guests: - Walker Lukens, co-creator and co-host of the Song Confessional podcast - Steph Stewart and Mario Arnez, members of Blue Cactus Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied

It's a small procedure, but a big question. Anita talks with a urologist about what medical advice to consider while making the circumcision decision (and where medicine doesn't have the answers). She also meets a rabbi and mother who offers alternatives to centuries-old circumcision rituals and hears from a circumcised father raising an uncircumcised son. Meet the guests: - Dr. Emilie K. Johnson, a pediatric urologist and associate professor of urology at Northwestern University, answers Anita's questions about the procedure and shares her research on disparities in access to circumcision - Rabbi Elyssa Cherney, founder of Tackling Torah, talks about the role of circumcision in the Jewish faith tradition, how she works with interfaith couples on what parts of that tradition to follow or preserve — and she explains how she handled the circumcision decision with her son - Chris Silva, a father, talks about how his thinking on circumcision evolved after his son was born prematurely, from assuming they would have the procedure for his son to ultimately decided not to circumcise Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied

In Anita's lifetime, the divorce rate for Americans over 55 has doubled. People are living longer, divorce stigma has decreased and women are more financially independent. But leaving a decades-long marriage … is a big life upheaval. Anita gets personal accounts from two gray divorcees about what it was like to rebuild their identities, finances and freedom post-divorce. They discuss money management, surfing and why women initiate divorce most often in heterosexual partnerships. Meet the guests: - Laura Stassi is a writer, editor and the host of the podcast "Dating While Gray." - Dr. Stephanie Han is a literature scholar, award-winning author and educator. Special thanks to Nanette Murphy and Linda Lingo for sharing their thoughts for this episode! Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied

Anita's been deep in romantasy land this year reading Fourth Wing & ACOTAR. And it's gotten her thinking about the skill required to make steamy sex scenes come alive on the page and out loud. She goes behind the scenes with two prolific erotica author-editors and a former producer for the audio erotica app Dipsea to figure out how the sausage — and the butt slaps — get made. Meet the guests: - Rachel Kramer Bussel has been published in more than 100 erotica anthologies, edited at least 70 others and is the author of “How To Write Erotica.” - Cecilia Tan has written science fiction and fantasy erotica for 30 years and is the founder of the publishing company Circlet Press. - Selene Ross is a former audio producer for the popular audio erotica app Dipsea and an artist and musician with an MFA in fiction from Oregon State University, where she teaches podcast storytelling and writing. Special thanks to Megan Hart and Lee Suksi for contributing to this episode! Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied

Anita and her partner John have started talking more openly about how his hearing loss informs their relationship and how they'll continue to navigate that as they age. She meets another interabled couple (Anna and Vika) who share the sometimes humorous, sometimes challenging moments that accompany sex and dating with hearing loss. Plus, former guest Yat Li returns to talk about deafness, disclosure, and disabled identity. Meet the guests: - Anna Pulley, author and columnist, talks about her journey with sex and intimacy as a deaf and hard of hearing person - Vika Mass, Anna's fiancee, shares how she has adjusted as part of an interabled couple - Yat Li, disability advocate, inclusive model and creator of “Let There Be Ears” on YouTube, talks about how he learned to self-disclose his deafness Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied

Tested is a new podcast series from CBC and NPR that asks the question, who gets to compete? Since the beginning of women’s sports, there has been a struggle over who qualifies for the women’s category. Tested follows the unfolding story of elite female runners who have been told they can no longer race as women, because of their biology. As the Olympics approach, they face hard choices: take drugs to lower their natural testosterone levels, give up their sport entirely, or fight. To understand how we got here, we trace the surprising, 100-year history of sex testing. More episodes of Tested are available here.

It took Anita 12 years and five therapists to find someone who could help her tackle questions of racial and cultural identity. She meets two therapists of color working to make that kind of support more accessible. Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy, talks about approaching wellness from a more collectivist lens, and Jor-El Caraballo shares how he helps clients build tools for resilience in the face of systemic oppression. Meet the guests: - Sahaj Kaur Kohli is a psychotherapist, the founder of Brown Girl Therapy and the author of “But What Will People Say?” - Jor-El Caraballo is a therapist, the co-founder of Viva Mental Health and Wellness and the author of “Self-Care for Black Men” Special thanks to Lisa R. Savage, Erinn Scott, Melody Li and Susan Chung for contributing to this weeks’ episode. Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here.

Long-term stays in psychiatric institutions were once a relatively common treatment in this country. They’re not anymore, but that doesn’t mean they’ve gone away entirely. Anita meets someone who spent three years living in a psychiatric hospital in the early 90s and talks with an activist whose time spent in contemporary psychiatric hospitals pushed them to fight for alternatives. Meet the guests: - Suzanne Scanlon spent three years living inside the New York State Psychiatric Institute in her early 20s and is the author of the memoir “Committed: On Meaning and Madwomen” - Stefanie Lyn Kaufman-Mthimkulu is an organizer, healer and the founder and director of Project LETs **If you or someone you know is in an emotional crisis, reach out to the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing or texting 988.** Special thanks to Chanika Svetvilas and Laura Lopez-Aybar, who contributed to this episode. Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here. Places to find diverse narratives about psychiatric institutionalization: - Vesper Moore - Nadia Naomi Mbonde - Depressed While Black online community

When you live in a disabled body, you don’t always get to see yourself in the love stories you consume. Anita talks with three folks changing that through their own writing. She meets a novelist, essayist and activist who share their disability love stories and how writing has changed their relationships with others and themselves. Meet the guests: - Keah Brown, journalist and author of "The Pretty One," talks about her experience with cerebral palsy and her multi-year journey to self-love - Maria Town, activist and CEO and president of the American Association of People with Disabilities, discusses opening up about her romantic relationship for the first time in her essay, ”This is My Solemn Vow” - Talia Hibbert, British romance author, digs into how her own experiences as a disabled person inform the romantic leads that she writes Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here. Dive deeper: “Disability Intimacy,” edited by activist Alice Wong

Anita's nail habit has evolved in the past decade from $10 drop-in manicures to 90 minute appointments with a nail artist. That artist joins her for a conversation about how Black women have shaped nail culture. Plus a fashion historian details nail history from Egyptian mummies to ‘90s Chanel colors, and a Vietnamese-American woman tells the story of growing up inside her parents' nail salons. Meet the guests: - Crystal Sanders, nail artist and entrepreneur, shares her business and artistic philosophy and talks about the overlooked role Black women have played in the history of nail art - Suzanne E. Shapiro, fashion historian and author of "Nails: The Story of the Modern Manicure," explains the historical context of manicures and nail art and ties both art forms into larger cultural forces - My Ngoc To, Vietnamese-American writer, talks about her experience growing up in the nail salons that her parents owned and how that has influenced her relationship with nail art today Read the transcript | Review the podcast Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied Dig deeper: Crissy Shined Nails on IG Blkgirlnailfies on IG More context on Black women in nail art NYT nail industry expose My Ngoc’s piece about her family’s nail salons Nailed It documentary Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here.

It’s been two years since the Supreme Court revoked the federal right to an abortion. Now, nearly one in five people seeking abortion care has to cross state lines to get it. Anita meets someone who spent 20 hours on the road to get her abortion, learns how folks afford thousands of dollars worth of travel and reviews the ways that Hollywood has taken on the abortion road trip. Meet the guests: - Taylor Shelton, abortion-seeker who traveled from her home state of South Carolina to North Carolina three times to get her abortion, shares the emotional toll that all that travel took and why she decided to join a lawsuit suing South Carolina over its abortion law - Serra Sippel, interim executive director of the Brigid Alliance, talks about some of the tangible ways that her organization supports folks who have to travel for abortion care and how they navigate an ever-changing legislative landscape - Gretchen Sisson, sociologist who studies portrayals of abortion in TV and film, traces the abortion road trip subgenre and explains how these representations affect the audiences who watch them Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here. Dive deeper: A visualization of abortion travel from The New York Times A Guttmacher Institute analysis on abortion travel & data on abortion numbers and travel The cost of traveling for an abortion More on Taylor’s story: From NPR From PBS More on The Brigid Alliance More ‘navigators’ helping people access abortion care An Abortion Road Trip Movie List: Grandma (2015), directed by Paul Weitz Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020), directed by Eliza Hittman Unpregnant (2020), directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg Plan B (2021), directed by Natalie Morales Red, White and Blue (Short 2023), directed by Nazrin Choudhury Tripping (Short 2024), directed by Amelia Xanthe Boscov

The vast majority of people living with dementia receive essential care from their own family and friends. This work is emotionally rigorous, but also filled with joy, surprise and creativity. More than 11 million Americans are doing this unpaid caregiving, and Anita meets two of them: a millennial who supported her mom and grandmother through different stages of Alzheimer's disease and a man in his 70s who is a care partner for his wife of 50 years. Meet the guests: - Jacquelyn Revere, creator of "Mom of My Mom" Instagram and TikTok handles, shares her story of becoming a full-time caregiver at the age of 29 and talks about the logistical and financial realities — and joys — of taking on this role - Kanu "KC" Mehta, care partner for his wife Sumi, explains how his background as an engineer has helped him creatively solve problems that have arisen with caring for Sumi and gets into the emotional journey he has been on as a care partner for the last 10 years Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied The poem that KC reads at the end of the episode is "Do Not Ask Me to Remember" by Owen Darnell. Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here.

Male fertility issues make up half of all infertility cases … but you’d never know it from consuming fertility content through culture, media and even medicine. Anita meets three men breaking the silence in hopes that others get the help and support they need. Meet the guests: - Jared Wright, journalist who wrote a piece about his infertility journey for VICE, talks through his first time in a fertility clinic, the treatments he and his wife have undergone since their marriage in 2020 and about his experiences in the infertility space as a Black man - Dr. Paul Shin, urologist at at Shady Grove Fertility in Washington D.C., explains some of the potential causes of male infertility and what treatments are available - James D'Souza, a teacher, blogger and podcaster, breaks down his decision to stop pursuing parenthood after a ten year fertility journey with his wife Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here.

Puberty is a right of passage that most of us experience as teenagers. But for some trans folks, big hormonal changes happen again in adulthood. Anita meets three transmasculine people who started taking testosterone as adults...and experienced everything from emotional fluctuations and voice changes to acne and new body hair in a period of second puberty. Meet the guests: - Julian Socha, actor, shares his experience of second puberty after being on T for eight years and how the physical changes have influenced his acting and how he's read in social situations - Gibby Armijo, a chef, has been on testosterone for just about three years and talks about his journey of taking the hormone more intermittently and how it's influenced his ideas about masculinity and adulthood - Luckie Alexander Fuller, the founder and CEO of "Invisible Men," spells out how his medical transition at age 30 influenced his relationships with his kids and helped his outer appearance align with the way he sees himself Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here.

Building intimate friendships can be difficult, especially for men and masculine-of-center people. And once you add up the challenges presented by patriarchy, racism and sexism, it’s even tougher for Black men. Guest host Omisade Burney-Scott talks to four Black men about masculinity, friendship and vulnerability. Meet the guests: - Derrick Beasley, artist and community organizer, links male friendships and climate change in his art and shares how he thinks about building friendships with other Black men - Tiq Milan, a trans activist and thought leader, breaks down how he is queering masculinity and working to help others in his community cultivate their own ideas of masculinity - Taj and Zach, best friends and cousins, talk about the ins and outs of their relationship and how they're thinking about building and maintaining friendships as they transition from high school into college Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here.

When you’re living with a stigmatized mental illness like bipolar disorder, opening up to romantic partners can be tough, but Anita brings on two people who’ve found their own way through love and mental health. A writer-poet talks about navigating new romantic connections, and a married couple shares how they’ve built a strong foundation for weathering mental health ups and downs over 15 years together. Meet the guests: - Michelle Yang, a writer and advocate, shares her journey to a bipolar I disorder diagnosis, how she navigated disclosure of her diagnosis early on in her relationship with her husband and her work to separate trauma from culture - Bob Zammit, Michelle's husband, gives his perspective on managing mental health in their family and how he and Michelle have thought about raising their 10-year-old son to be conscious of mental health - Hannah Blum, author of “Oh Mind, Where Have You Gone Today?”, explains how she approaches disclosure of her bipolar II diagnosis in romantic connections and what kind of mental health support she appreciates from intimate partners Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied

Anita learned in the early days of this show that there's no such thing as "normal" sexual behavior. But what *is* worth considering: how your relationship with sex affects your life. She meets two women whose compulsive sexual behaviors led them to seek support, and a sex-positive psychologist shares how she helps folks with sex addiction in their recovery. Meet the guests: - Krista Nabar, the executive director and founder of the Carolina Sexual Wellness Center, explains her sex-positive approach to hypersexuality and treatment - Erica Garza, author of “Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction," shares her history with sex addiction and how she's recovering in a sex-positive way - Mz. Cici, a content creator on Instagram and TikTok, talks about her efforts to bring more awareness to hypersexuality and her experiences with hypersexuality and bipolar disorder Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform Follow Embodied on X and Instagram Leave a message for Embodied

Since late 2020, Jordyn Hakes has been on a quest to bring more pleasure and playfulness into her own relationship and those of her many listeners. Anita talks to Jordyn about the upheaval in her life that set her on this path and her best tips for sustaining connection in long-term intimate relationships. Meet the guest: - Jordyn Hakes, host of "The Horny Housewife" podcast, shares tips to keep the connection alive in the wake of parenting, body changes and other changes that long-term relationships weather Read the transcript