The Couples Expert

Welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast. In today's show Stuart is going to talk about a subject that most of you will be familiar with, and some of you may struggle with: That of the impact of Social Media on your life and relationships.

Welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This week Stuart is lightening things up with a podcast on how humor and positivity can create an attitude and purpose in your relationship that will transform your lives. Gratitude and appreciation are key ingredients in a loving relationship. Ways of showing love are showing appreciation, sharing your feelings, making your partner feel special and making them feel important. Small changes in behavior such as showing affection, a simple hug and kiss makes a huge difference. You can’t compel someone to do this; it has to come from the heart. We can ask for what we need and when our partner gives it to us, we need to recognize that as a huge step forward from what your relationship dynamic might have been in the past. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: [7:09][19:05][20:10][24:30][30:55] Couples Weekend: The Two Days and 7 Conversations Weekend sponsors The Couples Experts Podcast. This couple’s weekend is not a retreat but a learning experience for you and your partner to connect and communicate in a deeper and more authentic way. Sign up now for our December weekend! Go to the link for the weekend on the website: https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/hold-me-tight/ Subscribe: You can subscribe to The Couples Expert Podcast on iTunes. Stuart would love it if you’d write a review or suggest a future topic. https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 The Couples Expert Wants To Hear From You! Email: You can email Stuart at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com and tell him about your relationship, ask questions or suggest a guest or future topic for the show. Stuart reads and responds to each and every email. Thank you so much for spending part of your day with Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. We hope today’s show has been helpful and meaningful to you. Until next time, stay positive, and stay connected.

This encore episode of The Couples Expert Podcast is all about appreciating all the special women in our lives, but particularly our mothers and the mothers of our children. Listen as Stuart recounts his growing up in a blended family and the lessons he learned about the importance of his Mother and her role in the family. He also had a Stepmother whom he loved and was very influential in his life. He talks about ways to honor the important women in your life this Motherâ•˙s Day, (Sunday, May 12th). What you'll learn from today's podcast: Moms deserve your encouragement every day at 3:00 It helps when you're struggling to see your partner through fresh eyes at 4:17 Dad's responsibility on Mother's Day at 5:49 Some suggestions for making Mom's day special at 7:45 Recognize your partner for all they do and show appreciation at 10:49 Suggestions for a romantic Mother's Day treat for her at 12:05 If you listen you will learn what she wants at 15:19 Honor Mom and Grandmother on Mother's Day 17:44 Stepmoms are Moms too at 18:21 View the complete show notes here

In this encore episode of The Couples Expert podcast, Stuart speaks of remarriage & the "Doubt Factor" with special guest Brian Mayer.

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This week on the show, Stuart is going to discuss the pain and consequences of financial infidelity. This kind of relationship injury has an incredible impact on a couple.

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is an encore episode of our show. Stuart talks about coping with separation issues in your relationship related to work. How do we keep a close and connected relations

Encore episode is about living and loving in middle age. Stuart answers some burning questions you may have about life after 60. Is it all downhill from here? Listen in as Stuart addresses the concerns that many of you have about love and aging.

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 146 of our show. We’re so happy that you’re here with us for the show. Today Stuart is discussing an all too common scenario for couples: When two people in a committed relationship end up living like roommates instead of lovers. Listen in while Stuart addresses this familiar problem. Stuart often talks about the significance of 6 years. That’s the average amount of time that couples live with their problems before they seek help from a relationship counselor. Those 6 years can be a time of strife and conflict; or it can be a time of reducing your relationship to living as roommates. This is a terrible feeling either way. Feeling alone is so painful. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: The pain of having roommates [2:25] It’s painful to live without connection [4:00] It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together [8:20] Hallway sex- Where’s the passion? [9:04] Why you need to keep passion a priority [10:40] How to keep it interesting; keep your partner in mind [12:12] No one wants a roommate when they can have a great love [22:25] If you’re living separate lives, you aren’t working on your relationship TWEET THIS If you’re living separate lives, you aren’t working on your relationship. In order to keep the passion and the love alive, you must make your relationship the priority. Spend time together, have adventures and make memories. It’s all about the connection and keeping that passion for your life together. Keeping that emotional connection is the only way to keep your relationship from deteriorating into roommate status. We cannot assume our partner knows how important they are to us. We have to never take them for granted, and to always let them know that they are the most important person in life to us. Invest your time and care into your relationship. Surprise your partner, send them gifts, show them that you’re thinking of them. Court them, keep the romance alive. In order to avoid the roommate feeling you have to keep the passion alive. Take your partner and get away a couple of times a year. Date nights once a month, or more often as possible. These things are crucial to avoiding the roommate issue. It doesn’t matter how busy you are, you can find the time if it’s important to you. Don’t make excuses, don’t cop out. This is important. Treat your relationship with the care and concern it deserves. Be kind and sweet to one another and keep your emotional connection strong. It takes commitment on both your parts. It’s not always easy, but it’s so worth it. Subscribe: You can subscribe to The Couples Expert Podcast on iTunes. Stuart would love it if you’d write a review or suggest a future topic. https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 The Couples Expert Wants To Hear From You! Email Stuart: podcast@thecouplesexperts.com Relationship check ups are important! Find one here: https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/annual-relationship-check-up Thank you for spending part of your day with us. Until next time, stay connected!

Hi and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim The Couples Expert. Stuart is going to speak today about what it means to be a good partner in your relationship. About ways to assess if you’re being a good partner, and if your partner is being good to you. After all, it takes both of you contributing to the relationship in equal measure in order for you to have a true partnership where you both feel loved and important. Stuart talks about the life of his Mother in Law Lolita who passed away last week. Stuart always felt included and loved and was brought quickly into the family when he and Debbie married. She and her husband were married for 64 years. Stuart is dedicating this podcast to her memory. We know there’s no perfect marriage. Every couple creates their own love story.What needs to be there is a passion for making your partner happy and for being the perfect partner for them. You see your partner’s happiness is as important (or more so) than your own. Today Stuart will have you take a look at your own relationship, and what kind of partner you are in your own love story. Are you the right partner in your relationship? Let’s take a look. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: [7:35][8:39][11:58][14:24][16:22][18:24][25:09][28:57][31:00] All of these ingredients are here for each of you to evaluate your relationship and yourself as a partner. Would you give yourself a high score, or are you seeing some things you need to work on? Take the Are you a good partner quiz! Take the test for yourself and one for your partner. Then you both need to have a conversation about what it is about your relationship that can be improved. Don’t be critical, but be positive in learning that you can dedicate yourselves to improving the kind of partner you are to one another. Thank you for joining us on The Couples Expert podcast. We’re glad you’re here. Come back next week for another episode with Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. Until then, be a good partner, and stay connected! Sponsored by Stuarts daily notes: If you could improve your relationship in just 5 minutes a day, would you? I think you would. Stuart is offering his Stuart’s Daily Notes to subscribers to give you real tips and sound advice on being the best partners you can be. Learn more and subscribe here: https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/ Subscribe: You can subscribe to The Couples Expert Podcast on iTunes. Stuart would love it if you’d write a review or suggest a future topic. https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 The Couples Expert Wants To Hear From You! Email: You can email Stuart at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com and tell him about your relationship, ask questions or suggest a guest or future topic for the show. Stuart reads and responds to each and every email. Thank you so much for spending part of your day with Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. We hope today’s show has been helpful and meaningful to you. Until next time, stay positive, and stay connected.

In this encore episode of The Couples Expert Podcast, Stuart is discussing a troubling topic today; infidelity. All of Stuart’s work centers around creating and maintaining healthy couple relationships. He believes that this is truly the cornerstone of a healthy society as a whole. Healthy relationships passed down from parents who model them for their children create generations of healthy relationships and a healthier society overall. Infidelity, whether it be sexual, emotional or even financial in nature, breaks down the connection and the trust that’s needed to keep the relationship healthy and happy. It’s his belief that infidelity causes some of the most severe relationship injuries that exist. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: Infidelity destroys families and destroys connections [4:03] Infidelity creates personal emotional trauma [10:20] Men and women approach infidelity differently [14:22] Strip clubs, massage parlors and prostitution are a factor [16:24] Reasons why men cheat [18:05] Women have different reasons to cheat [22:02] A return to attachment is needed [23:03]

Welcome to episode 189 of our show, this is an encore presentation. Your host Stuart Fensterheim has some insights to share with his listeners today about intimate partner relationships and sexual intimacy with your partner; specifically about banishing boredom from your bedroom.

Hi and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 188 of our show. Thank you for listening today as Stuart welcomes guest Jim Thomas back to the show. They will be discussing sexuality, emotional intimacy, and vulnerability. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: How to resolve differences in sexual needs [4:20]Being vulnerable sexually [6:40]Emotional and intimate [8:00]How do you define what sex is? [10:50]Is kissing more intimate than sex? [12:00]What about pornography? [14:40]A man’s need for more emotional intimacy [16:45]Average sex is good too [24:00]Use different approaches to sex [28:30]When to talk about your sexual desires and needs [31:45]Discover your sexuality [40:30]Throw the rules out [41:45] What we want is to have a fun, loving, caring, vulnerable experience for two people who care about one another, an experience you don’t share with anyone else. Trust your partner, and that both of you want to feel loved and important to each other. Until next time, Stay Connected The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Subscribe and change your relationship in 5 minutes a day with a video sent to your email inbox. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stuart’s Daily Notes can help you too! Learn More: https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/ Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes:https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com Next time on The Couples Expert Podcast: Join us next time as Stuart discusses how childhood affects our relationships.

This is an Encore Presentation, this podcast originally aired in January of 2017. Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with Stuart Fensterheim. Stuart is discussing how to set realistic and meaningful relationship goals for the New Year. We all want to do better and be better and the New Year is the new beginning that many of us use as a jumping off point for furthering our goals. The Couples Experts would like to thank you for a great 2018. Take a listen while Stuart discusses some ideas for 2019. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: [12:20][15:00][16:18][21:15][32:00][33:50] The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Subscribe and change your relationship in 5 minutes a day with a video sent to your email inbox. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stuart’s Daily Notes can help you too! https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/ Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

Hi and welcome to The Couples Expert with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 186 of our show. Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa! Stuart wishes everyone very happy holidays. This year Stuart wants you and your partner to have a holiday season filled with love, togetherness and connection. Today is a really special episode, because today Stuart is taking everyone on a magical journey today. A special journey of attachment, and acceptance, one of vulnerability and love. Visit a strange land where you will be meeting people as the most authentic version of yourself. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: Wearing masks [3:45]Recognizing when you are not being your best [5:00]Acknowledge your partner’s experience [9:00]Open the door to Attachmentland [11:00]Stop thinking you have to live up to an expectation [14:00]Being authentic [16:50]Dig deep and ask yourself questions [17:30]Stop surviving, and start living [20:00]That place where you are never alone [21:00]Qualities of authentic people [26:15] There is a relaxation that occurs when you are authentic. What are the qualities of authentic people? Are you self-reflective?Are you accepting of yourself and other people?Are you able to express your emotions freely and clearly?Do you make commitments that you live up to?Do you forgive easily?There is a sense of love and giving.We treat people with kindness and respect. Be yourself everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde We want to be that person in our partner’s life that they see as their best ally, their best confidant, that wouldn’t hurt a fly. Until next time, Stay Connected The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Subscribe and change your relationship in 5 minutes a day with a video sent to your email inbox. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stuart’s Daily Notes can help you too! https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/ Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes:https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com Next time on The Couples Expert Podcast: Join us next time as Stuart discusses New Year’s resolutions and whether or not you are a good partner.

Hi and welcome to The Couples Expert with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 185 of our show. Today Stuart is talking about boundaries in a relationship. There are many different boundaries that you can set in your life, and your relationship. Today Stuart pulls boundaries apart and helps you to learn how to set healthy boundaries in your relationship. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: Are boundaries even necessary in a relationship [1:45]Boundaries should be clearly defined [3:17]What do healthy boundaries include? [6:43]Where are our limit? [8:42]Is it ok to have friends of the opposite sex? [9:20]How to set limits with your partner [12:02]Emotional affairs [15:17]Unconditional love [19:10]Honesty [20:30]Self-control [23:10]Looking inwardly [25:25]Learn how to forgive [26:30]Summary of boundaries [28:10] Unless your boundaries are clear, direct, and adhered to, your relationship is going to be a challenge. If you have that, your relationship will be one in which both of your feel so good about it and know that you are with that one person in the world that you get to spend the rest of your life with. Until next time, Stay Connected The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Before You Tie the Knot, 12 Essential Conversations for newlyweds to have. This is an online course with support and direction from The Couples Expert. This course makes a great shower or wedding gift. Learn More: https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/12-conversations/ Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes:https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com This podcast was inspired in part by: 13 Boundaries Your Relationship Needs to Survive, by Ossiana Tepfenhart Next time on The Couples Expert Podcast: Join us next time as Stuart discusses authenticity, being yourself and feeling good enough.

Hi and welcome to The Couples Expert with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 184 of our show, and it is dedicated to Alvin Fensterheim. Today Stuart is talking about the importance of Father and Son relationships. The relationship between a father and son is one of the most important relationship. This relationship will lead to a good relationship with your spouse. Stuart’s own Dad passed away almost 1 year ago, and his experience with the loss of that important relationship. Stuart and his wife went to New York city recently where his Father is buried. Stuart’s family spent time reflecting on his Father, Alvin’s life, and the ending of a year of Shiva. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: Love is the absolute most important thing you can share with your family [7:25]Teach your son about being a man, in the truest sense [9:45]Demonstrate every single day that love is pathways to having a good life [13:55]Having shared interests [16:20]You should never do anything in your life that you don’t enjoy [17:38]Dedication to your family [23:13]Negativity about Grandparents needs to be off-limits [23:40]Building projects together [25:00]Demonstrate to your son, that you care about what they think and feel [26:32]As Fathers we need to focus on the positives with our sons [28:00]God picked us to be together [30:55]We are one family [32:50]Spirituality [34:12] The father and son relationship will establish that both of you feel loved and important. You are lucky to have one another. Those messages echoing back for years and years, makes your relationship really important. Have a very Happy Thanksgiving! The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: The Hold Me Tight Workshop – Presented by The Couples Expert. 2 Days and 7 Conversations that can change your life. Learn more: https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/hold-me-tight/ Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes:https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com This podcast is dedicated to Alvin Fensterheim

Hi and welcome to The Couples Expert with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 183 of our show. Today Stuart is talking about sexual communication inside and outside of the bedroom. This episode is for couples in a long-term committed relationship, you are there for the long-haul. This is one of the more difficult discussion for a couple to have, and Stuart will help to make it easier. Today’s podcast contains adult material, so please use discretion when listening or use your headphones! Stuart and his wife are currently on vacation in New York city. They are visiting family, enjoy the culture and people watch, as well as visit the 9/11 museum. This is a time they they spend connecting and spending time together without the distractions. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: Stop expecting your partner to read your mind [4:10]Your job is to keep your partner interested [6:30]When you want to talk about your sex life, don’t do it when you want to engage in sex [9:10]Give your suggestions both verbally and non-verbally [10:45]Talk about your experience [14:00]Playfulness [15:30]What turns you on? [19:20]Communicate your needs [22:30]Most men are not interested in having quick sex [23:30]No need to fake an orgasm [24:45]Steps to have a conversation about sex [26:30] Sexopoly: https://www.amazon.com/Sexopoly-Adult-Board-Couples-Friends/dp/B0035ETLJY When you are ready to have a discussion with your partner about your sex life use these steps: Tell your partner how much you care about them.Give them a clear message about what is not working for you. Choose only one area to discuss at this time.Follow up with something positive. Talk about what works really well in your sex life.Suggest that you have the conversation again in the future.Talk about how much you love being intimate with them. Do not discuss how it went with other partners. This is only about what works for the two of you. You want to discuss this in kind and loving ways. You want to show and tell your partner what you need, to bring the two of you to a pleasurable place. Really make sure your partner knows that who they are is more important than anything else, and that you are lucky to have them in your life. The two of you can accomplish anything as long as you do it together. The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: The Hold Me Tight Workshop – Presented by The Couples Expert. 2 Days and 7 Conversations that can change your life. Learn more: https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/hold-me-tight/ Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes:https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com Until next week, keep working, keep soul-searching and stay connected! This podcast was inspired in part by: Conscious Man, by John Grey and Arjuna Ardagh Jill Donato’s article on Communicating During Sex to Make it Better for Everyone

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast, with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 182 or our show. Today’s episode is full of tools, tips, and Stuart’s pearls of wisdom to create a marriage that will last a lifetime. Whether you had premarital counseling or not, this episode is to help you to learn how to make your relationship meaningful and significant. None of us get married to be finding ourselves in an empty, lonely relationship. Many times this happens because we don’t really understand what marriage is all about. Tune in today and keep your marriage alive, passionate, and close. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: Authenticity and vulnerability 2:40You need to have a plan 7:25Learning how to communicate with your spouse 10:40Triggers 16:453 main elements of communication 19:40How do we learn how to navigate challenges 20:45Setting yourself up for having realistic expectations 22:25Children 25:45You have to work on the trust you have for each other 28:05What is going to change with marriage? 30:20You have to talk about everything 31:40Social media 37:20Money and financial planning 39:00Sex and intimacy 40:30 The most important thing to remember about your first year of marriage is to enjoy your newlywed status. Also, memorize this: “The first year of marriage is a learning and transitional period for the rest of your life” During this first year transition, you need to be able to view your conflicts and moments of disconnection as opportunities for growth. What may seem like a complaint from your partner, can be a gold mine to learn what they need. If you work on all of these things, at the end of the day, you will be able to roll over in bed, look and your partner, smile and say “life is good.” Thank you for spending part of your day with The Couples Experts. We hope you enjoyed the show and take away something meaningful to your relationship. Until next time stay connected! The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Subscribe and change your relationship in 5 minutes a day with a video sent to your email inbox. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stuart’s Daily Notes can help you too! https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/ Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com Next week: Join us in two weeks as Stuart talks about how to be accountable to yourself, learning how to communicate both in and out of the bedroom. Until then, stay connected.

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast, with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 181 or our show. Today, Stuart talks about the difference in sexual desire. We come together quite often with different types of libidos, but when we first get together and the passion is there. After a period of time, you settle in with your partner, and reality and the stresses of life hits. We then begin to realize that our libidos are just not the same, and the sexuality diminishes. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: Difference between two different libidos [2:00]Come up with a sex number [3:00]Compromise by broadening your range of activities that are sexual [11:00]Talk about how things are going sexually for the two of you [13:00]If you have a higher sex drive, you should not take it personally if your partner has a lower libido drive [14:00]Do not be critical and negative about your partner [17:00]The cuddle hormone [18:10]Where is the compromise [20:20]Being comfortable with masterbation [21:30]You have to be really honest with one another [24:00] Quote: “We can either jump on the trampoline, or we can just screw” 4 Tips when you have this sex drive difference: Laughter; laugh about this, not make it as serious as it might feel.Make the relationship the most important thing. You better have a relationship where your partner feels courted every day of your life. You need to stir up those romantic juices that quite often lead to more passion.Instead of complaining about a “dry spell”, divert that sexual energy into other things. Allow your relationship to have ebbs and flows, and don’t let it get in the way of caring and loving of each other.Your sex life is only one aspect of your relationship, and that the two of you, together, are going to make the caring and loving you have for one another more important than any sex act or pattern. Thank you for spending part of your day with The Couples Experts. We hope you enjoyed the show and take away something meaningful to your relationship. Until next time stay connected! The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Annual Relationship Checkup: Sure, we get our vehicles serviced, have maintenance done on our homes, and see our local GP to make sure our bodies are in good working order, but sadly, we tend to neglect one of the most important things in our lives – the health of our relationship. https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/annual-relationship-check-up/ Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com *Today’s podcast was inspired in part, by Jessica McCleese’s article on Coping with Different libidos, and Michelle Weiner’s Tips for Partner’s with Higher Sex Drives.

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast, with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 180 or our show. Today, Stuart talks about loving yourself despite betrayal in a relationship. Stuart will discuss 4 parts in today’s podcast: How do we really define what betrayal looks like in a relationship?What does the hurt look like, feel like, and what is the experience like? Stuart just returned from a cruise to England, where he and his wife had a lovely holiday connecting and enjoying each other. He also spent some time thinking about this podcast, and specifically this episode. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur Greetings [0:16]How do we trust again? [2:30]Can we really see ourselves as valuable in a relationship [3:50]How do we really define betrayal? [5:50]Your partner’s perception of you [14:00]Your partner becomes the means with which we define our world [15:15]What does the hurt really look like? [18:05]Am I lovable? (Emotionally focused therapy) [22:00]Separate yourself [25:00]Grieve for the lost relationship, without blame [27:00]Finding who you are [29:50]Healing from betrayal [33:40] For many of us there are scars that we bring from our previous relationships. When we come from a significant relationship where there are betrayals, we have a difficult time trusting ourselves and our new partners. We have to find the silver lining. We have to choose happiness. The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Subscribe and change your relationship in 5 minutes a day with a video sent to your email inbox. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stuart’s Daily Notes can help you too! https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/ Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2 Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com