Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Just as we can exercise our arms or legs to build physical strength, we can exercise our brains like we do any other muscle. Therapist Amy Morin joins Forrest to help us learn how to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and become more psychologically flexible. These key skills are particularly important for building a healthy relationship. Forrest and Amy explore how couples can work together to identify their issues, deal with effort imbalances, and avoid common mistakes (like having, get this, not enough conflict). About our Guest: Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, bestselling author, and the host of the Mentally Stronger podcast.Her most recent book is 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do, out on December 26th. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: Amy’s personal background, and how she got to the idea of mental strengths 7:30: Self-compassion vs. self-pity 11:05: Not giving away your power 14:50: Diagnosing root problems in relationships 18:25: When one frustration brings up all your other frustrations 22:25: The inevitability of conflict, and the vulnerability in expressing remorse 27:35: Setting the ground rules for a therapeutic conversation 31:05: When it feels like your partner isn’t invested in making changes 34:50: Learning to deconstruct reactive thoughts and misguided perceptions 38:30: Taking your thoughts with a grain of salt, and asking ‘what else might be true?’ 41:20: Scorekeeping vs. negotiating, and finding ways to meet our own needs 45:40: Giving our partner what we actually want for ourselves 49:00: Balancing desires for closeness and distance 51:15: Not being a martyr or ‘controlling through giving’ 55:30: Boundaries between partners, and how our backgrounds influence our preferences 1:00:35: Developing psychological flexibility 1:03:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

What can I do if my partner dominates conversations about our relationship? How can I navigate situations where I want to repair, but other people don’t? What’s a “highly sensitive person,” and how does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism? In this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. If you’d like to have a question answered on the podcast, you can join us on Patreon or send it in to contact@beingwellpodcast.com. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: What can I do when my partner dominates relationship conversations, but also complains about me “interrupting?” 12:45: How can you repair with family members…when they don’t want to repair? 22:55: Why do intrusive thoughts arise late at night? How can we address them? 28:00: I give to a fault in my relationships. What can I do? 34:10: How do you work with the tendency to be overly competitive? 40:45: What do you think about the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) “diagnosis?” How does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism? 55:15: Recap Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

In one of the most interesting conversations we've ever had on the podcast, Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Jacob Ham to explore what really helps people work with - and be with - trauma. They begin with Dr. Ham's background and what drew him to trauma work before Forrest asks him how he "conceptualizes" different kinds of traumatic experiences. Dr. Ham then takes them away from the conceptual, and toward the felt. They talk about cultivating a felt sense of connection, empathy as a way in to relationship, and the value of anger. Dr. Ham shares about his own process taking risks as a clinician, using parts work, moving away from the "false idol" of cognizing, and finding a unique way in for each individual. About our Guest: Dr. Jacob Ham is a clinical psychologist, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai, and the Director of the Center for Complex Trauma. He was the therapist former podcast guest Stephanie Foo wrote about in her wonderful book What My Bones Know. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:30: Jacob’s background 5:20: Cultivating a felt sense of connection vs. idolizing the concept of trauma 11:00: A monastic, medical, and artistic approach 13:00: Knowing our intentions, and feeling others’ pain as a therapist 18:00: Surrendering to overwhelming grief 23:50: Love, vulnerability, and authenticity 29:45: The value of anger, the energy it demands, and navigating it with humility 34:45: Presence, and taking risks as a clinician 40:40: How Jacob does parts work, and finding what works with each individual 46:15: Staring at the finger that’s pointing at the moon 49:25: Does a good therapist need to have experienced trauma? 52:30: Honoring our inner protectors, surrendering to pain, and knowing it won’t last forever 56:20: Shaping others’ ability to help you, and processing trauma without professional help 1:00:15: Tipping points and surrender 1:04:15: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Ah the holidays, that blessed time of year when we come together with our highly functional family systems to engage in some good, old-fashioned fun. If that sounded like a joke, this episode is for you. Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to survive the holidays with the dishes (mostly) intact. They talk about the pull of dysfunctional family systems, our tendency to return to the way things were “back then,” and balancing the desire to flip the Thanksgiving table with the desire to just make it through another year. I thought this was one of the most interesting conversations we’ve had recently, and I hope you enjoy it. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: What makes the holidays tough? 5:45: The gap between who you are now and how your family system interacts with you 14:45: Parents yearning for the past, and craving gratitude 24:20: Finding agency amidst obligation 26:55: The weaponization of morality, and not needing to defend boundaries 32:45: Appreciating something about people amidst your struggles with them, and identifying the stakes 38:50: Getting through when it’s hard 43:30: The tension and ambiguity of wanting to speak up 47:00: Resourcing yourself ahead of time, and recognizing what’s in your best interest 51:50: Two kinds of grief and loss 1:01:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Dr. Stephen Porges, the creator of the polyvagal theory, joins the podcast to walk us through how its lessons can be applied to recovering from traumatic experiences. Forrest and Dr. Porges simplify the polyvagal theory, discuss the three key states our body can rest in, and explore how we can use polyvagal practices to heal old wounds and feel safer. About our Guest: Dr. Stephen Porges is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, and Professor Emeritus at both the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He’s published more than 300 peer-reviewed papers and is the author of a number of books, including his recently released Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: A brief overview of Polyvagal Theory (PVT) 5:20: Ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal states 12:05: Relating PVT to trauma, and processing cognitively vs. in the body 19:30: Creating enough safety and co-regulation for healing work 23:30: What helps people gain awareness, safety, and regulation 27:15: Contextualizing a freeze response both psychologically and medically 30:45: Distinguishing feeling safe vs. being safe 34:10: Where to start when you don’t have a secure base in another person 37:20: How our physiology has evolved to detect psychosocial cues 39:20: How healing practices change our perception of the world 41:35: The calming effect of slow exhalation and top-down visualization 43:05: Other tools to calm the nervous system, and the need for social nourishment 47:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

We all know that change is inevitable in life, and getting good at changing is one of the most important skills we can develop. It’s also one of the most difficult to master. On today’s episode writer and coach Brad Stulberg joins Forrest to explore how we can reshape who we are, navigate and embrace change, and become more resilient. About our Guest: Brad focuses his work on the philosophical and psychological foundations of excellence, and the habits and practices necessary to attain it. He’s a regular contributor at The New York Times and the author of a number of wonderful books including The Practice of Groundedness and his most recent book Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: How Brad has come to think about change 3:30: Rethinking homeostasis and allostasis 6:55: Suffering, resistance, and rugged flexibility 13:00: Creating a more flexible identity 20:30: Not going ‘all in all the time’ 24:30: Constraints that support a healthy amount of ego 28:20: Brad’s personal challenges and supports in finding insight 34:00: Waiting to find meaning until after moving through a difficult change 39:15: Our perception of time slows during distress 41:25: Pounding a stone, and sticking with a process 45:55: Developing and retaining a sense of self-efficacy 49:20: Expecting discomfort 51:10: Turning hobbies into work, nurturing curiosity, and being a beginner 55:05: Values and perspectives 1:00:00: Shaking the snow globe, then letting it settle 1:03:10: Five questions from Brad’s book to ask yourselves 1:04:15: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on one of the most important decisions we’ll make in life: the choice to become a parent. They focus on what good parenting looks like in practice, the key difference in thinking of a child as a “means” or an “end,” and how to know whether becoming a parent is the right path for you. Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:20: The significance (and uniqueness) of this choice 4:50: Being aware of your motivations for having a child 16:55: The influence of primal biology 20:50: Qualities of a good parent 30:30: Mirroring, idealizing, twinship, and the process of differentiation 36:35: Optimal frustration, and a healthy parental work ethic 41:25: The rewards of being a parent 46:45: If you don’t like __ you shouldn’t become a parent 48:50: A word for current parents who wish things had been different 53:00: Community, partnership, and resources 55:10: Meaning and fulfillment with or without a child 1:00:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

In today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how we can improve our self-confidence, allowing us to become more psychologically flexible and create healthy boundaries with other people. They explain why becoming better at something doesn’t always make us more confident, the two paths of gaining confidence and releasing insecurity, and how we can release insecurity over time. They then talk about the differences between confidence and narcissism, dealing with other people when they try to put us down, and how we can develop an authentic sense of self-worth. Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: Separating confidence and capability 8:10: Releasing insecurity vs. gaining confidence 13:25: Sources of insecurity, celebrating others’ vision, and tapping into universal currents 20:30: Redefining what a win looks like, and surrendering to the best in ourselves 26:30: Finding people who believe in you, taking action, and not knowing 31:20: Our core beliefs, why they are rational, and how to update them 34:35: Self-worth, and confidence in your own innate goodness 38:55: The difference between self-confidence and narcissism 44:00: Facing the fear of what will happen if you are confident 52:00: When being poorly received is about others and not you 54:45: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

How we view ourselves, other people, and the world around us has a huge impact on the emotions we feel, the choices we make, and the quality of the lives we lead. These are our perspectives, and they’re the foundation our lives are built on…which is why changing them is so freakin’ hard. In this episode, Forrest and Rick explore what perspectives are, what a healthy perspective looks like in practice, and how we can deliberately shift our perspectives over time. Specific topics include unpacking where perspectives come from, getting better at identifying when a perspective starts to affect our behavior, and thinking of ourselves as “rivers” rather than “rocks.” By the end of this episode, you’ll learn the key skills you need to change the views that have been holding you back. Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and info on Rick’s Neurodharma course 2:10: Aspects of the kind of perspective we’re talking about 5:50: Change, being grounded in reality, and self-compassion 12:40: Fixed perspectives, fear, and a few examples from Rick 19:40: Shame, and conflict with others due to changes in behavior 22:35: Lack of self-confidence leading to rigidity 25:50: De-centering, joy, viewing yourself as a river, and playfulness 31:45: Roleplay, and asking ‘what if?’ 35:25: Inquiring into how our perspectives are constructed 44:35: Emotional imagination, and retelling your story 47:10: How our values and aspirations drive our perspective 51:50: Asking which perspectives support what’s important to you 54:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

“The mistake most of us make is building our homes in other people. When we do that, we give them the power to make us homeless.” Poet, activist, and author Najwa Zebian joins Forrest for a conversation focused on discovering what truly matters to us. They use Najwa’s personal story as a way to explore how we can break out of the roles others place us in, create healthy boundaries, and feel worthy from the inside-out. Topics include balancing intimacy and autonomy, self-compassion and self-love, and finding the courage to act authentically. About Our Guest: Najwa Zebian is an activist, poet, educator, and the author of six books including her recent works Welcome Home, Conversations on Letting Go, and The Only Constant, which will be coming out March 2024. She was raised in Lebanon and moved to Canada at 16 where she later earned her Doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of Western Ontario. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:05: Najwa’s personal background 6:10: Humility, asking for the things you need, and comparing your pain to others 11:15: Loving your current self into becoming your authentic self 17:10: Navigating change in the face of social pressure 20:45: Intrinsic self-worth, and the beauty of being undefined 32:00: Intimacy and autonomy 40:05: Choosing vulnerability, and paying attention to surrounding influences 50:45: Healthy shared expectations in relationships 53:45: Forgiving others as a gift we give to ourselves 58:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

We’re often told to “be true to ourselves:” to line-up the person we are on the outside with the person we are on the inside. In a word, to be authentic. But what does it really mean to “be who we are,” “get in touch with ourselves,” or to go full new-age “live in alignment with our higher purpose?” In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what authenticity is, where it comes from, and whether it’s actually a good thing to be more authentic. They talk about what we really mean when we use the word “authenticity,” the fragmented nature of the self, and problems with unregulated self expression. They then turn towards how we can include all of ourselves, act from our values, and become at peace with who we are. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:35: How Rick thinks about authenticity 6:10: Congruence, presentation, and the difference between honest and good 13:45: A personal example of authenticity from Rick and Forrest 17:00: Self-disclosure as a factor of intimacy 19:45: What parts of ourselves are we being authentic to? 23:15: Vulnerability and aspiration 28:10: Carl Rogers’ idea of the perceived self and the ideal self 33:20: Is self-improvement authentic? 36:30: Unconditional positive regard, and embodiment 40:10: Naming what you’re feeling, the vastness of the psyche, and self-honesty 46:25: Having a secure environment for aspirational change 48:45: Individualism, social roles, and intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation 53:05: Archetypes, the shadow, and integration 59:20: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. The Turning Points podcast is BACK with a new season. Check out season 3 of Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on getting the most we can out of therapy, processing old painful experiences, and sabotaging ourselves. They explore the self-fulfilling nature of fear, different forms of therapy and who they can benefit, and how to approach dealing with your mind in general. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:25: My relationship anxiety is sabotaging my relationship! 7:40: Getting more out of therapy 14:00: Should people with CPTSD do cognitive therapy? 19:45: What other kinds of modalities might be beneficial? 23:05: Rick’s “gardening theory of therapy” 29:10: When and how is it appropriate to talk with your adult children about your abusive childhood? 33:30: How can a therapist draw healthy boundaries with their friends? 39:15: How would you advise a person in their mid 20s just diagnosed with ADHD? 46:25: Forrest’s partner’s experience with ADHD medication 48:50: Reframing our understanding of a psychiatric diagnosis 52:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

In our productivity-obsessed, always-on world it’s easy for busyness to become a badge of honor. But sometimes that effort-ing transforms from the reasonable pursuit of our goals into workaholism: a compulsive, even addictive drive to work. In today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick explore what workaholism is really, the psychological functions it serves, and how it relates to other addictive behaviors. You’ll learn both how to approach changing behaviors like workaholism in general and specific interventions that can help. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:20: Differentiating workaholism from working hard 9:40: Preempting criticism, and your internal audience 17:10: Competence, approval seeking, and motives 23:50: Addiction without social stigma 28:40: Population groups more prone to workaholism 33:50: The stages of change 37:45: Moving to the wider view, craving and regret 40:55: Embodying your future self, and social support 43:10: Identity, and creating a coherent narrative 46:00: Underlying feelings, mindfulness, and making choices 49:20: Distinguishing being and becoming 52:25: Tracking your time, and scheduling time off 54:50: Giving others influence over your behavior 56:20: Rick’s personal experience navigating a healthy work ethic 1:01:20: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Forrest and Rick sit down with Dr. Susan David, the creator of the concept of Emotional Agility. Emotional agility is what allows us to navigate our complex emotions, make choices aligned with our values, and ultimately lead more authentic and fulfilling lives. They begin by discussing the four parts of emotional agility and distinguishing it from related concepts like emotional intelligence before exploring how we can “unhook” from our painful or problematic thoughts, feelings, and stories. They then explore how we can identify what really matters to us, act from those values, and find our footing in an ever-changing world. About our Guest: Susan David, Ph.D. is an award-winning Harvard Medical School psychologist and the author of the #1 Bestseller Emotional Agility. She is a frequent contributor to the New York Times, Washington Post, and Wall Street Journal, and her TED Talk on the topic of emotional agility has been seen by more than 10 million people. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: Distinguishing emotional agility from emotional intelligence 5:00: The four parts of emotional agility 10:30: The value of seeing yourself and feeling seen by others 16:20: Continuity of self, and considering your future self 21:45: Ways to recognize our unhelpful patterns or ‘hooks’ 26:40: Maintaining context for the full scope of our values 32:55: Defining the concept of values 35:50: Learning from discomfort, boredom, and anxiety 40:30: When you struggle to identify your values in the first place 46:05: Compassion and groundedness amidst constant change 52:40: Accurately labeling your stressors 58:30: Love and wisdom 1:00:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

The only constant in life is change. Moments come and go, people enter and leave our lives, and we ourselves grow, change, and eventually pass away. While this is an obvious fact of life, we usually let it blend into the background, and coming face-to-face with it can fill us with understandable feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and even dread. In this episode Forrest and Dr. Rick explore impermanence anxiety: the fears we have related to change. They discuss “macro” and “micro” impermanence, terror management theory, the courage to care, fully embracing life, what tends to help people come to peace with impermanence, and how we can become more resilient in the face of change. Rick closes the episode by explaining how we can come more fully into the present moment, and see reality for what it truly is. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: Macro-impermanence and micro-impermanence 9:25: Terror management theory, and grasping the finality of bigger changes 14:50: Fully embracing your reality 26:25: Purpose, meaning, agency and acceptance 32:40: Why change is scary, and recognizing our own fragility 38:10: Repression, avoidance, and sublimation 47:05: A walkthrough of the stages of insight 54:30: Framing yourself in the broader reality, and letting go of painful things 57:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Dr. Chris Palmer, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, joins Forrest to discuss the relationship between metabolic function and mental illness. They discuss Dr. Palmer’s work with patients suffering from severe conditions like schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder, psychiatry’s current challenges with treatment-resistant conditions, and the important distinction between difficult psychological states and brain-based disorders. They then explore the relationship between mental illness and metabolic function, the key role mitochondria play in the process, and how current treatments impact our metabolism. Forrest and Dr. Palmer close the episode by discussing a number of practical interventions to improve metabolic function, including the ketogenic diet, sleep, exercise, stress management techniques like mindfulness practice, and even love, connection, and sense of purpose. About our Guest: Dr. Chris Palmer is a board-certified psychiatrist and assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. His clinical practice focuses on helping people suffering from treatment-resistant mental illnesses, including mood disorders, psychotic disorders, and personality disorders. His newest book is Brain Energy: A Revolutionary Breakthrough in Understanding Mental Health. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: How Dr. Palmer's personal experience has influenced his work 4:00: The brain energy theory as a response to treatment resistant conditions 9:05: Mental states vs. mental disorders, and problems with our diagnostic criteria 14:25: Brain disorders as metabolic disorders 19:50: Defining metabolism 22:40: The role of mitochondria 28:45: How medication affects metabolism 35:20: How stress and emotions affect metabolism 41:40: The ketogenic diet, mitophagy, and mitochondrial biogenesis 47:40: The importance of education and support around ketosis for medical conditions 53:00: Supplementing medication with lifestyle change vs. replacing it 56:20: Sleep and light exposure 59:35: Love, connection, and sense of purpose 1:06:00: A sense of safety as a prerequisite for healing 1:09:10: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Emotional intelligence is considered an essential trait for everything from being a desirable romantic partner to having a successful career. But what do we really mean when we say “emotional intelligence,” and how can we become emotionally intelligent over time? In today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss what’s “in” emotional intelligence, balancing emotional closeness and distance, and how we can become more self-aware, emotionally regulated, and empathic. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: What’s emotional intelligence? 4:25: Curiosity, care, and rational vs. emotional decision making 9:30: The five domains of emotional intelligence 11:30: Courage 18:40: Competence, capacity, and application 23:40: Anger, and discerning wants and needs 25:25: Self-awareness 30:20: The stories we are drawn to 33:20: Empathy 44:40: Self-regulation 48:50: Widening the space 51:45: The feelings beneath the feelings 53:00: Feeling overwhelmed, boundaries, and differentiation 1:01:10: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Our thoughts, emotions, and experiences can reshape the very structure of our brains, allowing it to adapt and change over time. This is known as neuroplasticity, and while it’s present throughout our lives the younger we are the more powerful it is. On today’s episode, Dr. Caroline Leaf joins Rick and Forrest to explore how we can harness the power of neuroplasticity to clean up our mental mess…and teach our children to do the same. They detail Dr. Leaf’s five-step Neurocycle process, walk through a practical example, and explain how we can use mind-management tools to reshape our relationship with difficult thoughts and feelings. Dr. Leaf then shares how we can introduce these tools to young people, the importance of nurturing a child's sense of agency, and the power of teaching through modeling. About our Guest: Dr. Caroline Leaf is a clinical and cognitive neuroscientist who has been researching the mind-brain connection, the nature of mental health, and the formation of memory for over 40 years. She’s the host of the top mental health podcast Cleaning Up The Mental Mess, and her newest book How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: The five steps of Dr. Leaf’s NeuroCycle 6:30: A walkthrough of the process using an example from Rick 13:50: Helping kids have a sense of agency in difficult environments 20:35: Teaching children through modeling, and building connection with different age groups 26:55: What motivates us to take action and reckon with our past 33:20: Empowering kids to have thoughts and feelings without ‘being’ them 35:20: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Over the last 10 years interest in therapy has boomed, and with the greater demand for therapists more people than ever are considering pursuing a career in mental health. On today’s episode Forrest speaks to five therapists and therapists-in-training to learn the lessons they wish they’d known when they started. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro 2:15: Rick Hanson 5:05: Key traits of good therapists 17:50: Questions a prospective therapist might not think to ask 25:00: Self-employement, emotional regulation, and boundaries 27:45: Efficacy, complacency, and respecting the craft 31:45: Lori Gottlieb 35:20: Emotional intimacy and human connection 38:50: Modalities 40:50: Vulnerability, uncertainty, and making mistakes 48:10: Terry Real 52:45: Learning how to heal yourself first 55:35: What therapy is actually like 59:30: Messiness 1:03:15: Elizabeth Ferreira 1:06:35: Somatics, and being yourself 1:11:50: How to suffer with someone, then let it move through you 1:16:45: Awareness and the bravery of owning what’s in the room 1:21:15: Chaos, and loving yourself 1:27:45: Taylor Banfield 1:34:00: Sitting with a client for the first time 1:37:45: Choosing a specific career path 1:39:10: Boundaries 1:43:15: Recap About our Guests: Rick Hanson is a psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, New York Times best-selling author, and frequent guest on Being Well. Lori Gottlieb is a practicing therapist in Los Angeles, and is the author of the bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. Terry Real is a longtime clinician, the founder of the Relational Life Institute, and bestselling author of a number of books including Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. Elizabeth Ferreira is an associate somatic psychotherapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area. If you’d like to work with Elizabeth, you can reach out to her through her website or Instagram. Taylor Banfield is a graduate student in the PsyD program at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off! Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website

Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier, joins Dr. Rick and Forrest for a wide-ranging, open, and personal conversation. They explore dealing with anxiety and fear, sustaining a mindfulness practice, and accepting our nature while leaning into a new version of ourselves. Along the way they talk about the benefits and drawbacks of purely secular approaches to mindfulness, Dan’s recent time with the Dalai Lama, and why an “anti-sentimentalist” like Dan is writing a book about love. About our Guest: Dan Harris is the author of the best-selling memoir 10% Happier, about a fidgety, skeptical news anchor who finds meditation. He’s also the host of the Ten Percent Happier podcast and the cofounder of the Ten Percent Happier meditation app. For 21 years, he worked at ABC News, where he anchored such shows as Nightline and the weekend editions of Good Morning America. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: ​​0:00: Introduction 1:05: Dan’s history with panic attacks, and using exposure therapy 6:15: Pros and cons of mindfulness in a secular frame 9:15: Moving away from a purely secular frame 12:10: Dan’s current meditation practice 16:15: Sustaining practice, and the pros and cons of stubbornness 20:15: Passion and purpose without attachment 27:50: Dan’s takeaways from the Dalai Lama 30:45: Caring, sharing, and marking your virtuous moments 33:30: An ‘anti-sentimental’ look at love 44:50: Recognizing personal change 47:55: If you can’t be cheesy, you can’t be free 51:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website