Grief Encounters

Séamas O’Reilly is a Derry born writer for The Observer and The New York Times, who speaks to Sasha and Venetia about his mother Sheila, who passed away three weeks before his sixth birthday in October 1991. Driving back from the Belfast hospital on the night of her death, his father was faced with the mammoth task of raising 11 children as a loan parent for the first time. An exceptionally talented and descriptive writer, Séamas’s memoir “Did Ye Hear Mammy Died?” comes out in Spring 202, and he shares his own memories of that period, and some newly uncovered ones during this week’s chat. Sasha, Venetia and Séamas also share their own unique stories and perspectives on parenting and bereavement and their way to approach the subject of death with children. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Grief Encounters is a little bit different than usual. Regular listeners of the podcast know that we often focus an episode on the life and loss of someone dear to our guests. Kelsie Donelly is a PHD graduate from Queen’s University Belfast who recently got in touch with us about her research that looks into the ways in which 21st century literature can provide a new perspective on our grief. We were delighted to share this podcast with her, as she discussed how 2020 and everything that has come with it, has changed the focus of grief, and how particular narratives changed around the subject particularly in relation to the pandemic. She also discusses with Sasha about a new potential landmark in grief culture, that took place in the quite literal form of Robert Kardashian’s hologram birthday message to his daughters. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of the most difficult things a person can experience in their lifetime is hearing the news that a loved one has died both prematurely and unexpectedly. In 2016, Neil Fox's life was changed forever, after gardaí knocked to his door to inform him his sister Donna had passed away in a cycling accident that morning. In the years since Neil’s personal experience with both grief and trauma has brought him on an incredible journey through sobriety, sexuality and ultimately becoming more comfortable in his own skin. He speaks with Sasha and Venetia about the ups and downs in his life, since Donna’s death, and his incredible work to prevent similar accidents taking place on Irish roads. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos , memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s guest recently described grief as “the companion you never wanted”, a sentiment that is shared by all of the team involved in making this podcast series. Amanda Grace is the daughter of Brendan Grace, one of Ireland's all-time legendary figures in comedy and entertainment, who’s death in July 2019 saw a special public outcry of grief and love, in a way that very few people garner. Amanda is a former 'rock school rebel' turned spiritual guide. Her offerings in contemplative journaling, coaching & community teach women to marry the powers of creativity and intuition, surrender the never ending pursuit of trying to 'fix' themselves & commit instead to a more intentional healing path, on which they can be unapologetically true to who they are. Her relationship with her father still remains incredibly strong, albeit a different form of relationship since his passing. She discusses carrying on this relationship within your grief, and the importance of speaking about your loved one in the present. In the interview, Amanda also discusses with Sasha about what it means to “hold space” for someone, an intentional act of unconditional support where no judgements are made in whatever journey they may be on. You can find more info on “holding space” in this essay recommended by Amanda. Other Links: Derek Walcott - Love After Love Amanda Grace - Things to Do in The Belly Of A Whale If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s guest, Justin Caffrey and his wife Beatrice have gone through something no parents should ever have to deal with in their lifetime. The loss of a child. In 2011 after a series of devastating miscarriages, Beatrice became pregnant once more. 25 weeks into the pregnancy during a family holiday in Malaga, Beatrice’s waters broke, leading to the extremely premature birth of their son Joshua. Joshua was born with a host of medical complications causing Justin and his wife and 4 year old son to uproot their lives for the next 11 months and act as carers in a city completely foreign to them. In this truly incredible interview, Justin speaks in detail about their own experiences in losing Joshua, as well as the incredible road his grief has brought him on. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's guest Beth French lost her mum when she was just 20 years old, from cancer of the bile duct, having just finished her second year of university. Beth's mother was in her early 50s and had been completely healthy, so her loss left Beth and her family in a complete sense of shock. Like many people who experience grief, she found that her perspective had shifted and now had a new aspect of her identity that was not commonly shared by many young people, feeling like a member of a club she did not want to be in. Beth established the UK based charity Lets Talk About Loss, a youth bereavement service aimed at trying to overcome the barriers of talking about losing a loved one. In the chat she speaks to Venetia about the pain felt during her mother's illness, the shifting family dynamic after her death, and why even within the grief community, young adults still find it difficult to open up. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Racism is a massive issue in Ireland today and something that we, as a country are not exempted from. The past 3 weeks of global protest at systematic racism in America has also shone light on great changes that need to happen closer to home. On this week’s podcast Sasha and Venetia look at how racial abuse can have devastating impacts on those targeted by it, speaking to Aisling O’Neill a mother and advocate from Tipperary. In September 2019 Aisling’s 16 year old daughter Mia took her own life after suffering years of extreme racial abuse from people in their community, beginning at just aged 4. In the chat Aisling paints a picture of her beautiful caring daughter, and the awful experiences she had to endure throughout her adolescence. She also speaks about the personal effect the Black Lives Matter protests have had on her and her grief. Since Mia’s death, Aisling has gone on to establish One Life, a charity focused on mental health awareness and community support. You can find more information here: https://www.facebook.com/onelifeireland/ If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jane Mckenna is the founder of Ireland's only children's hospice, and The Laura Lynn Foundation, both named after her two children, Laura and Lynn. Sadly, her vision to create a national children’s hospice spawned from utter tragedy. Jane joined Sasha & Venetia for an incredibly moving episode of Grief Encounters, where she speaks about how her family's journey through unthinkable loss, made her determined to give back in her own grief - leaving an incredible legacy for her two children. Jane & her husband Brendan are the proud parents of two beautiful girls Laura & Lynn. Sadly, both Laura and Lynn passed away 20 months apart from each other, to differing illnesses, leaving Jane and Brendan living every parent's worst nightmare. “Lynn thought us how to live, and she thought us how to die” On this week’s episode of the podcast she gives a really special account of her family's life before and after Laura and Lynn’s passing. No detail is spared, as she paints an extremely vivid picture of what their life was like, living in and out of hospitals and waiting appointment to appointment. More importantly, she manages to capture how incredibly strong both girls were, in sickness and in health. This episode was originally released in February 2019* If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The COVID 19 outbreak has touched the lives of thousands of families across Ireland, and more than ever before the prospect of an unexpected loss is a growing concern for many. Grief is complicated even on the best of days, but now as our lives are restricted in so many ways, the way grieve has also changed dramatically. There has been a lot of emphasis on the obvious physical changes such as funeral capacities and hospital visitations but in reality, the restrictions that we are living through now also impact those who are suffering from longterm in a very real way. Orla Keegan is head of Bereavement and Education services at The Irish Hospice Foundation and joins Sasha and Venetia this week to discuss the impact this pandemic is having on those grieving around Ireland, and the necessity to reach out more than ever, in these unprecedented times. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos, memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s podcast is slightly different as we listen to an incredible conversation between Sasha and Megan Devine, who you might remember from one our favourite episodes last year: It’s Okay That You’re Not Okay. Sasha and Megan chatted during an ‘Insta Live’ on Megan’s incredible Refuge In Grief Chanel about grieving in such unprecedented time of our lives. They chat through how to help our friends and family be a support during grief, how we are all being effected at the moment and how we process our feelings, especially in these uncertain times. About Megan: Megan’s career as a therapist was mainly based around working with people with substance addiction. It wasn’t until a summer day in 2009 that grief would become a firm fixture in her life, as her Matt drowned in a devastating accident just three months from his fortieth birthday. In Megan’s own words “It was random, unexpected, and it tore my world apart.” In the years since Matt’s death Megan has gone on to found Refuge in Grief, a grief support resource and online community which serves both grieving people and those looking to better support grieving people free online resources, and professional training. Megane is perhaps best known for her 2017 book It's OK That You're Not OK, which is widely seen as one of the staples of Grief Literature. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos , memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“I walked into the bathroom and leaned on the sink. It was a strong contraction and instinctively I reached down to deliver my own daughter. She was born sleeping. No cry. No noise. No heartbeat. I yelled for my husband and he held my shaking body while we waited for the ambulance to arrive. It was my third pregnancy and my first daughter. Nina. She had been with me for 38 weeks. I smiled the entire pregnancy daydreaming of holding my beautiful girl.” These are words from today’s guest, Adriana Monique Alvarez, who’s daughter Nina was stillborn at 38 weeks, leaving her family heartbroken and feeling lost. Adriana joined Sasha in February and they discussed her own personal journey through the bereavement of her daughter, and how the grief fundamentally changed her outset on life. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dalymount Park, otherwise known as The Home of Irish Football has seen some really special performances taken place in it’s One Hundred and Twenty-year history. This May, that trend will hopefully continue as, this week’s guests Tony Owen’s & Mike Culshaw will represent a team of bereaved fathers, as they take on an international team of men, who have also been affected by Stillbirth or Neonatal oss. Both teammates join Sasha for this special episode, as they chat about their experience with stillbirth, as well as addressing the problem of men not speaking about their grief to eachother. Féileacáin (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Association of Ireland – SANDAI) was formed in 2009 and subsequently registered as a charity in 2010 ( CHY – 19635). Feileacain was formed by a group of bereaved parents to offer support to anyone affected by the death of a baby around the time of birth, and the organisation is now the national charity supporting families affected by perinatal loss. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Sasha and Venetia were joined in studio by Bríd Shine, midwife specialist in perinatal palliative care and bereavement for over ten years to discuss her incredibly important role in helping mothers who suffer stillbirth and neonatal birth in Ireland. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This weeks guest is Fiona Tuomey, Founder and Director of HUGG which is an incredible charity that provides suicide bereavement support groups and online resources. In January 2016, Fiona’s beautiful daughter Milly died by suicide at the age of 11, just six weeks away from her twelfth birthday. In the four years since Fiona has done incredible work, campaigning for vital youth and adult mental health services to be implemented countrywide, highlighting some gaping flaws in the Irish health system. In the interview, Fiona describes Milly with such vivid colour, that it’s clear to see how special of a child she was. “She felt very deeply about things and I felt that her barometer for empathy was really very strong. She could also feel great sorrow. The first time she saw a homeless man in Dublin she cried, and came home and said can I give him all my pocket money, what can I do?” After noticing a change in Milly’s personality, Fiona was made aware that her daughter was suffering from suicidal ideations, having told her peers she knew the exact day she wanted to die. Shocked and devastated, Fiona and her husband approached the situation with a huge amount of seriousness, but were ultimately let down by the state, after searching for support. The Tuomey families story is an incredibly sad one, and much greater questions need to be asked around the shortcomings of Ireland’s health infrastructure to help those struggling with mental health issues. Fiona’s tireless campaigning for these supports and greater accountability, will undoubtedly play a part in fostering a more proactive approach to dealing with suicide and the families affected by it. HUGG is a peer support organisation. We provide a safe, confidential environment in which those bereaved by suicide can share their experiences and feelings, so giving and gaining support from each other. The aftermath of a suicide is shocking, debilitating, surreal, life changing. But you can learn to live with this loss. It is not easy, but we are here to help. People who are suicide bereaved sometimes find it can be difficult for people who have not experienced suicide loss, including professionals, to understand what they are going through. Often the best conversations are had with peers – other people bereaved by suicide. Our support groups are facilitated by people who have been bereaved by suicide. The groups are open, meet fortnightly and are free of charge. You do not have to speak, there is healing in just being with those who understand your pain. If you would like to come along to a HUGG group, just call us on 01 513 4048 (monitored answering machine) or email info@hugg.ie for more information. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Sasha and Venetia sat down to record a podcast without the addition of any guests, to discuss their own grief as well a variety of other important matters that have been brought up in the Grief Encounters community online. In the episode, they both discuss the recent anniversaries that have taken place for them, and what way the podcast has affected their own approach to these days. In the wake of some tragic and high-profile celebrity deaths in recent weeks, they also look at how we grieve for those we don’t know, and how a public death can often conjure up sad emotions relating to a loved one who has died. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This weeks guest is The Sunday Times’ writer Laura Kennedy, a leading voice in grief conversation here in Ireland over the past five years. Laura’s work has done a huge amount in distilling a more modern approach to how we discuss the people we have lost in our lives, as well as the grief that comes with doing so. She spoke to Sasha about her beautiful mother Emma, who died from pancreatic cancer in 2015. In the interview she spoke in detail about her mother’s illness and trying to navigate her own emotions, knowing that her mother’s illness was progressively worsening. “I have always been very interested in emotions and have gone on to study those, and done a PHD in Philosophy relating to emotions because I found them interesting. And because my mother was always so strident about controlling them -that they are relevant, but they are not always true. So it seemed not particularly relevant. Her need was evidently greater. “ Laura’s grief has developed, particularly in recent years, and she now finds herself in a better place when thinking back about Emma. “I don’t feel the rawness of emotion that I felt then, and I think it would be deeply concerning if I did. I do feel the depths of emotion, but obviously I have learned to recognise it better, and cope with it better. And now also treat my responses with a bit of understanding and kindness, because you can feel like an idiot getting upset in the supermarket because of a song that came on. But you are a person. You’re not impervious and of course memory and emotion will affect you. And it’s not nice, but in a way its endearing, that even after 5 years, even a couple of lines from a song can bring her back in that moment” After hearing this chat, we think listeners will agree that how Laura speaks and describes her own grief is equally as beautiful as her writing on the matter. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s guest is a mother from Manchester who’s life was turned completely upside down, on the night of May 22nd 2017. Figen Murray’s son Martyn Hett was one of 22 innocent concert-goers killed at a suicide bombing that devastated Manchester and beyond, as Salman Abedi, detonated an explosive device in the foyer of The Manchester Arena. Speaking to Sasha, she described the night of the terrorist attack, as they excruciatingly awaited some positive news, as information trickled into their family home. Figen’s maternal instincts sadly proved to be true in this case. “He’s dead. I just know, because it is like somebody has just taken this giant pair of scissors and cut off any presence of him. It feels like he’s suddenly gone, it doesn’t even feel like he is on the planet any more ” She continued, ”call it mum’s intuition or something, but I just absolutely knew that there was suddenly no sense of him whatsoever. It was quite weird” It’s clear that Martyn had something extraordinarily unique about his personality and character. The 29-year-old was a self-professed superfan of Coronation Street and had garnered many connections with the thousands of followers subscribed to his social media channels. Although thinking back about memories of her beautiful son sparks a certain level of pain, Figen still delights in telling Sasha about just how loved he was. “ A lot of his friends were moaning that they had to make an appointment with him to even spend time with him, he was so popular. He lived life a hundred miles an hour really, and I don’t know where he got the energy from”. On the podcast, Sasha and Venetia have spoken a lot about taking action in grief, and how a devastating loss can often spur a loved one on, to channel their energy into something new. This is no different for Figen, who at the age of 59 has begun a Masters Degree in Counter-Terrorism, in a bid to try and understand why and how an act like this is possible. Unlike the majority of death’s that have been discussed on the podcast, there was someone accountable for Martyn’s death, which makes the grieving process much more complicated. Remarkably, Figen has acknowledged in the past that she forgives her sons attacker, something requiring a huge amount of empathy and emotional intelligence. Through her Masters and advocacy work, she is determined now to focus her efforts into preventing radicalisation from an early age, which she believes is the root preventing terrorism claiming more lives. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s guest is the New Zealand rugby journalist, charity worker and children's book author Brent Pope, who joined Sasha and Venetia to speak about minding your mental health after the loss of a loved one. There is a huge symbiosis between grief and mental health, and in recent years Brent has done stellar work in speaking about his struggles with depression and anxiety. Last April, Brent's father sadly passed away after battling Parkinson’s Disease at home in New Zeland. Brent delivers a beautiful account of his father’s character and what made him such a unique man. Having originally moved to Ireland for 3 months, he has lived here for the last thirty years and speaks candidly about the varying levels of regret he has about not seeing as much of his Dad as he would have liked to. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos , memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Erin McGathy is an American podcaster and comedian who has found her home in Dublin, since moving here in 2016. During her teenage years, she lost her mother Susan to cancer at the young age of 42. A seminal period in Erin’s young life. Last year during the run up to Mothers Day, Erin shared an incredibly open account on social media of her sometimes-beautiful, sometimes-complicated relationship with her mother, and how her illness managed to further these feelings. “She told me that she knew I would do great things, and then she apologized for "being a bad mother." I still don't know why she said this and it's painful to think about, but I think she meant she wished we'd known each other more as I was becoming my own adult person. My mom was very elegant, womanly and measured; I was so clearly not heading in that direction, I remember my mother being noticeably disappointed in that, and even a little worried for me. In her weaker moments, she voiced that she was scared that no one would love me because I wore sports bras, didn't brush my hair and ate too much; I wasn't the type of girl that a boy would ever "choose". She later apologized for saying that, but not putting her expectations for herself on me was a struggle…” On this week’s podcast, she chats with Sasha about coming to terms with those feelings, years down the line. She also discusses her relationship with her now, and how the grief she felt manages to manifest in different ways all those years later. Erin is the founder of Mob Theatre Dublin, and can be heard on podcasts This Feels Terrible, Human Conversation and Harmontown. Her stage performance Al Dawes Fucking Loves You also received critical acclaim at this years Dublin Fringe Festival. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos ,memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Since beginning the podcast, there have been certain topics that have featured in many episodes, but surprisingly the subject of childhood-loss has been relatively undiscovered so far. Today’s guest, Giles-Paley Philip's is a writer and podcaster from East Sussex, best known for his award-winning Children's books, and the excellent Blank Podcast, which delves into those moments when things aren't working right. At the age of 6, Giles lost his mother to Leukaemia, and that grief is something that has stuck closely with him, ever since. He is a hugely important grief advocate on social media, and his beautiful children’s book Little Bella And The Moon was bravely written to aid parents in speaking to their children about loss. Giles’ debut novel One Hundred And Fifty-Two will be released this year, which looks at the story of a teenager facing the impending death of his terminally ill, making memories and moments from his own childhood as inspiration. In his conversation with Sasha, Giles recounts his difficult childhood balancing his mother's illness with his father’s alcoholism. They speak in detail about the unpredictable nature of life, and the cards it deals you. They also talk about how there is always room for things to actually get worse, but don’t worry - the conversation remains lighthearted throughout. Giles is the author of nine books, including The Fearsome Beastie (Maverick Arts Publishing), which has now sold over 70,000 copies and won The People's Book Prize 2012 and The Heart Of Hawick Children's Book Award 2013, and was Highly Commended in The Forward National Literature Award in the US. It was also Shortlisted for The Rotherham Children's Awards 2012. If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, Share articles, photos , memories and more, Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group, A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/ Music by: Nctrnm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.