Johnny Two Kebabs

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A Very Maggie Christmas

A Very Maggie Christmas

The strangest episode of Johnny’s adventures so far sees him not only confronted by the ghost of Margaret Thatcher but also by the mystery surrounding the death of one of his acquaintances. An investigation at an esoteric and well-being convention is...

From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce

From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce

Who Is Johnny Two Kebabs?There has been much speculation in recent years as to whether Johnny Two Kebabs really exists. Is it true that on 15th June 2011 after drinking 13 pints of lager he polished off two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds? Is...

How I Found The G Spot

How I Found The G Spot

In this second volume of his memoirs, Johnny describes how he infiltrated a dangerous gang of "activists" and thwarted a plot to carry out a series of attacks in the U.K. We also learn more about Johnny Two Kebabs "the man" as opposed to just the...

Johnny Two Kebabs - The Prequel

Johnny Two Kebabs - The Prequel

An Extraordinary Event:On 15th June 2011, an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. An Irishman ingested two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds after already having consumed 13 pints of lager.Now, for the first time, the true story...

Johnny's Ridealong

Johnny's Ridealong

It is a fact that the average male bladder can hold approximately a pint of liquid. This quantity is somewhat greater in an Irishman. The bladder of a healthy Irishman can generally hold at least 750ml or nearly one and a half pints. However, there...

The Badge And The Gun

The Badge And The Gun

When Johnny's underpants are stolen, such is his outrage that he takes a solemn vow: Until the day he tracks down the underpants thief and brings him to justice, he will 'go commando.'Deprived of his jocks and driven by a relentless desire for...

The Mixed Doner Murders

The Mixed Doner Murders

This third instalment is arguably the most important volume of Johnny's memoirs as it firmly establishes him as one of the great ‘thinkers’ of modern times. Johnny shares with us some of his insights into the criminal mind and what drives him in his...

The Second Trilogy of Johnny Two Kebabs

The Second Trilogy of Johnny Two Kebabs

This is the trilogy of the second three instalments of the memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs4. Johnny Two Kebabs - The Prequel5. Johnny's Ridealong6. A Very Maggie ChristmasThis uproarious narrative relates how Johnny rose to fame by ingesting two doner...

The Two Kebabs Trilogy

The Two Kebabs Trilogy

This is the trilogy of three of the instalments of the memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs1. From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce2. How I Found The G Spot3. The Mixed Doner MurdersIn these pages, Johnny reveals the truth not only about how he thwarted a...