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Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows.

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Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows.

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Ep 16 - Heave To Podcast Swap! Electra is a guest!

1/14/2025
I made a new friend, Garrett, and he invited me to do a podcast swap! We are still working on recording for Under the Umbra (and I still have one I'm editing with previous co-host Ian), but here is Electra being interviewed in a very freeform style on the Heave To podcast, where Garrett travels (sails!) the world and talks to interesting people! The audio quality is not great because we met in a pub and there was music playing in the background that we did not license and so our voices are missing the sounds that were the same as the music! Yay audio producing! To listen on the episode's original feed: Link to Heave To on Apple Podcast! Link to Heave To on Spotify! Look for it on your own syndicator / podcatcher by searching for "Heave To" Show notes: Things referred to: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD. (Links here are affiliate link and Electra would receive a tiny share of your purchase.) šŸŽ§Buy Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents on Libro.fm šŸ“šBuy Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents on Bookshop.org The High Conflict Institute And a representative article of theirs with the four linked characteristics/traits. (I am not affiliated with HCI but their work has influenced my understanding.) My first listened-to podcasts which because audio literary magazines, still running today. EscapePod PodCastle PseudoPod The Guild of the Cowry Catchers, reorganized into a series called the Pirates of Wefrivain in 2021, by Abigail Hilton: the author's website or the author's shop My favorite book to recommend for understanding the paradigm of what the F is happening right now! Postcolonial Astrology: Reading the Planets Through Capital, Power, and Labor by Alice Sparkly Kat (again, these are affiliate links) šŸŽ§Buy Postcolonial Astrology on Libro.fm šŸ“šBuy Postcolonial Astrology on Bookshop.org Errata from talking fast: My first ever recorded podcast was on EscapePod not PodCastle The auditory quality is not up to my current standards. cPTSD stands for complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, not chronic

Duration:01:01:15

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Under The Umbra Ep 15 - Umbra Barbie Part 2

3/24/2024
In this Part 2 of 2 episode, Jenna from The Way Witch and I discuss Umbra Barbie: How Barbieworld forces Empathy-Challenged Non-Collaborative Behavior. Sections: 0:00 Intro Credits 1:06 Thanking Patrons 1:54 Content Warnings: Swearing (check your audience!); Mention of the supremacist cis hetero capitalist patriarchal empire we all live in a.k.a. the kyriarchy; the weirdness of ā€œowningā€ small people as a white woman; Arts and Craft to make anatomically accurate dolls; play therapy to catalyze intimate partner violence and ā€œdramaā€ (a la real housewives?); Implicit and explicit systemic oppression of divergent people and Madness/Serious Mental Illness (Major Depression, BPD, SUD and ED, specifically); and mention of the movieā€™s cartoonish depictions of infanticide of babydolls in the first scenes. 2:34 Co-host intro: Jenna, The Way Witch 2:56 Grounding Prayer 3:40 Elec-Ture 6:08 The Human Being / Human Winner Masc(uline) Monomyth... so unsatisfying. 11:52 Human Giver Syndrome and The Mad (wo)Man in the Beach 21:52 Mad Kenough is not enough! 28:09:00 The Umbra perpetuates itself: How Barbieworld won't let St Barbie be loving to Ken or acknowledge group effort 35:09:00 Side Note: How much does RH hate being a mother, and some Surprise! DARVO bullshit at the end of the movie 37:26:00 Thesis: Mad Ken is an avatar for the experience of women within patriarchy, but he is judged by the diegetic co-residents of Barbieworld and the Real World, and by the non-diegetic audience and critics, according to masc/ableist standards for behavior, and he is abandoned according to ECNC behaviors, required to heal himself without support, and told this is a triumph and exciting, in order to maintain Hollywoodā€™s access to Mattelā€™s brand material. Audio quality note: I added the addendum about music and fantasy of retribution when I was scanning the audio at 1.5 speed, so I accidentally recorded my aside at 1.5 speed and didn't catch that it was then slowed down when I rendered the MP3. When I get my mental ducks in a row, I will re-record that and re-upload it. 45:38:00 bonus critiques of white feminism 54:20:00 Unplanned Extra Thesis: The power of Decoding - we are hungry for revolution and we will find in emergent revelations. Long Live Fan Fiction! 1:05:03 Outro Credits Please see the show notes at UnderTheUmbra.info for the slide show, (a transcript in the future) and the large number of references and links. This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under The Umbra . Info Support the show via Patreon.com This show is brought to you by Bridge to Becoming, LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic and used with permission. Under the Umbra Podcast logo is by Lo Carter. Subtitle was crafted by Vera Alcorn.

Duration:01:07:35

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Under The Umbra Ep 14 - Umbra Barbie Part 1

3/10/2024
In this episode, Jenna from The Way Witch and I discuss Umbra Barbie: How Barbieworld forces Empathy-Challenged Non-Collaborative Behavior. Sections: 0:00.000 Intro / Credits 1:06.264 Thanking Patrons 1:54.734 Introduction Chat 2:53.174 Co-host intros with some dogs 3:38.284 Grounding Prayer (with dogs and roommates) 5:28.563 Getting Started - Umbra Barbie is chaotic because the movie is chaotic 10:45.451 Can't talk about Barbie without talking about our relationship to Barbie 21:46.801 In this essay I will... (the agenda) 30:53.977 Capitalism as played by Mattel and The Patriarchy as played by Hollywood with the shadowy Kyriarchy looming behind 32:36.375 Ruth Handler's ECNC signs 39:34.734 Waves of Feminism, as conceptualized by me, are in development not in time 45:53.519 How (not) To Criticize Your Funders and Handlers (ha ha) 57:30.133 End Transition and review of Agenda Please see the show notes at UnderTheUmbra.info for the slide show, (a transcript in the future) and the large number of references and links. This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under The Umbra . Info Support the show via Patreon.com This show is brought to you by Bridge to Becoming, LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic and used with permission. Under the Umbra Podcast logo is by Lo Carter. Subtitle was crafted by Vera Alcorn.

Duration:01:01:44

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Under The Umbra Ep 13 - Heart-Centered Business

9/29/2023
In this episode, I talk with Mark Silver, M.Div. (he/him) about his new book Heart-Centered Business, which is released as a hardback on October 3, 2023. Audiobook and e-book formats are coming soon. You can learn more about the book at Heart Centered Business Book dot com Sections: References: If Books Could Kill episode The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss on Apple Podcasts and Spotify as they donā€™t seem to have a main webpage. Episode blurb: Have you ever wanted to escape the grind and follow your dreams? This week we're discussing "The 4-Hour Workweek," which reveals that all you need is a plan, a willingness to take risks and a modestly sized fraud operation built on Third World labor. Heart of Business Book, link above And some samples of the Heart of Business content and vibe, to see if this book would be right for you! [Donā€™t] Buy Now! Donā€™t get taken in by the scammers You can learn get a sample of the vibe by visiting Heart of Business for their free articles, TikTok Facebook for oldsters like me Medium This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under The Umbra . Info Support the show via Patreon.com This show is brought to you by Bridge to Becoming, LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic and used with permission. Under the Umbra Podcast logo is by Lo Carter. Subtitle was crafted by Vera Alcorn.

Duration:01:02:51

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Under The Umbra Ep 12 - Summary and Check-In, or... Start Here and then go back to the beginning!

9/15/2023
šŸ˜„ In this episode, I'm reviewing some of my values for the show and how they might show up differently than you think, and offering a summary of my key take-aways of Empathy, Collaboration, Boundaries and Power. No co-host this week. Just me talking into a microphone at yoOoooOooouuUuuu, my listeners! If you like conversations more than reading a script, you can skip this one because it's just a summary of episodes 2-11! But if those looked a bit long when you think about what to play, you can start here and then go back to the episode where you want to learn more! Sections: ValuesEmpathyCollaborationBoundariesPower If any of these summaries are a bit too short, feel free to return to the corresponding episode for 2-11 for more in-depth discussion, or join me on Patron and ask a question for more clarification! Since this is just me talking into a microphone, there is a whole transcript, already! šŸ˜² <'(@o@)'> šŸ˜² Please see the show notes (link updated once it's ready) for the transcript and the small handful of references. This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under the Umbra .info! Support the show via Patreon.com The show is supported by ā€œResponsiveā€ Patrons: Ellery and KC, as well as several more on the Structured and Unscripted levels! Thank you so much for your support! This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera!

Duration:00:33:19

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Under The Umbra Ep 11 - Power Part 3 of 3 ...finally

9/1/2023
In this episode, weā€™re discussing Power! This is part 3 of 3, finally! The Co-Host is Ian, not currently findable! The next episode will be a summary of the last five topics. Sections Salusover References mentioned in the show can be found in the show notes! I also have a transcript to the Elec-ture. This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light! Support the show via Patreon.com Thanks to my Patrons KC and Ellery, and many others, for supporting the show! This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera!

Duration:00:48:16

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Under The Umbra Ep 10 - Power Part 2 of 3

8/2/2023
In this episode, weā€™re discussing Power! This is part 2 of 3. The Co-Host is my longtime friend Ian, and he and his girlfriend have an upcoming project of artisan soap. Iā€™ll share more info once they get it set up. If youā€™d like to help out or mentor them on soap distribution, let me (Electra) know and Iā€™ll get you in contact! Sections (links in show notes!) References to the show (and there are a lot, a lot, a lot) can be found in the show notes! As well as a transcript of the Elec-ture. This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under the Umbra .info! Support the show via Patreon.com The show is supported by ā€œResponsiveā€ Patrons: Ellery and KC, as well as several more on the Structured and Unscripted levels! Thank you so much for your support! This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera!

Duration:00:50:55

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Under The Umbra Ep 09 - Power Part 1 of 3

7/7/2023
In this episode, weā€™re discussing Power! This is part 1 of 3. The Co-Host is my longtime friend Ian, and he and his girlfriend have an upcoming project of artisan soap. Iā€™ll share more info once they get it set up. If youā€™d like to help out or mentor them on soap distribution, let me (Electra) know and Iā€™ll get you in contact! He is currently not find-able. Sections References mentioned in the show (and there are lots) can be found in the show notes. This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under The Umbra . Info Support the show via Patreon.com. Thanks to Ellery and KC for supporting the show! This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera Alcorn!

Duration:00:40:22

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Under The Umbra Ep 08 - Boundaries Part 2 of 2

6/14/2023
In this episode, weā€™re discussing Boundaries! This is part 2 of 2. The next episodes will be about Power. The Co-Host is Jenna Bowers and hereā€™s where you can find her work (and another cameo of her familiar Willoughby): TheWayWitch ā€¢ Instagram ā€¢ TikTok ā€¢ Facebook Hereā€™s my proposed method of finding your own boundaries: References mentioned in the show can be found in the show notes! This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under The Umbra dot Info Support the show via Patreon.com. Thanks to KC and Ellery for supporting the show! This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle selected by Vera Alcorn!

Duration:00:58:25

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Under The Umbra Ep 07 - Boundaries Part 1 of 2

6/14/2023
In this episode, weā€™re discussing Boundaries! This is part 1 of 2. The next episodes will be about Power. The Co-Host is Jenna Bowers and hereā€™s where you can find her work (and another cameo of her familiar Willoughby): TheWayWitch ā€¢ Instagram ā€¢ TikTok ā€¢ Facebook References mentioned in the show can be found in the show-notes! This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under The Umbra dot Info Support the show via Patreon.com Thanks to Ellery and KC for supporting the show! This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle selected by Vera Alcorn!

Duration:00:59:15

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Under The Umbra Ep 06 - Collaboration Part 3 of 3 and preview of Patreon content

5/29/2023
NOTE: When this episode was recorded, Electra still had an active license to practice acupuncture. As of July 2024, all her licenses are in INACTIVE or LAPSED status. See website for more details. In this episode, weā€™re discussing Collaboration! This is both the final part of the conversation with Kiki, and is a teaser for some of the bonus material you can get by becoming a Patron of my show on Patreon. Link in show notes! This is an example of the extra, lightly edited, unscripted conversations. This is part 5 of 5. The next topic will be Boundaries! The Co-Host is Kiki and you can find her work here: Instagram: @heretic.homestead TikTok @heretichomestead and now on YouTube @heretichomestead9896 Sections 0:00:00 Intro0:01:28 Introduction Chat: Preview for Patron content - ECNC in public view!0:06:17 Content WarningsContent warnings for Parts 1 2 and 3 of the Collaboration episodes: To explain what it feels like to be in a non-collaborative relationship, I and my co-host describe distressing psychological experiences such as hypervigilant anxiety, ruminative and psychogenic insomnia, ā€œbarrage of rhetorical convincing,ā€ intrusive thoughts that involve interpersonal violence, homicidal ideation, suicidal ideation, destruction of institutions; losing supportive relationships and becoming isolatedContent warnings for Part 3: stalking (in the intro) and systemic and litigation abuse of the stalking victim; cuckoo birds; sibling abuse; squicky bio stuff specifically illnesses caused by fecal bacteria; also, for people with sound sensitivity, my cat came to let me know that Kiki and I had talked for too long and to wrap it up, so you will hear him meowing and bumping into the microphone.0:07:32 Grounding Prayer0:08:40 Kiki's quick intro reprise0:09:12 Why Do We Care about Collaborative versus Non-Collaborative relationships and where Empathy fits in with that... Oops, that's a Stay Tuned situation!0:10:21 Kiki, my fabulous Audience Surrogate, has Reactions and Reflections! Electra has Goals!0:13:59 Kiki tells a story about Hypervigilance and how it shows up in unpredicted ways0:15:18 Back to how learning a new model can create a huge retrospective crisis. Am I now re-labeling what is normal, but able to help other situations? Or do I have a name for a challenging situation in my life right now and it explains some things.0:18:12 Kiki has a retrospective moment regarding work situations in the past; sidebar: proposition that Burnout is actually micro-moral injuries as people in power over you coerce you to violate your own morals0:20:30 How far do you revise? Is it that you're surrounded by a------s, or is non-collaboration a Norm we see at work, in relationships, on TV...0:22:12 Final Thoughts and Future Plans... and my cat says Wrap It Up!0:23:08 Outro, Credits, and Disclaimer Links to all resources mentioned on the episode's forever home at UnderTheUmbra.Info This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. Support the show via Patreon.com! Thanks to my patrons KC and Ellery for supporting the show! Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera!

Duration:00:25:39

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Under The Umbra Ep 05 - Collaboration Part 2 of 3

5/29/2023
NOTE: When this episode was recorded, Electra still had an active license to practice acupuncture. As of July 2024, all her licenses are in INACTIVE or LAPSED status. See website for more details. In this episode, weā€™re discussing Collaboration! This is part 4 of 5. The next episode is wrapping up the conversation about Collaboration with my co-host. Iā€™m not sure yet what the next topic will be because Iā€™ve got several lined up. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:01:22 Introduction Chat 0:06:03 Content Warnings Content warnings for Parts 1 2 and 3 of the Collaboration episodes: To explain what it feels like to be in a non-collaborative relationship, I and my co-host describe distressing psychological experiences such as hypervigilant anxiety, ruminative and psychogenic insomnia, ā€œbarrage of rhetorical convincing,ā€ intrusive thoughts that involve interpersonal violence, homicidal ideation, suicidal ideation, destruction of institutions; losing supportive relationships and becoming isolated Content warnings for Part 2: imagined/fictional interpersonal violence due to intrusive thoughts including torture; serial sexual assault perpetrated by a celebrity; political corruption by a past politician; mob violence (stochastic terrorism) and fictional description of homicide; workplace harassment; and descriptions of things that might trigger body dysmorphia. 0:07:37 Grounding Prayer 0:08:45 Kiki's quick intro reprise 0:09:14 A quick digression about how the behavior you develop in a non-collaborative relationship feels jarring and confuses others in a collaborative relationship 0:09:56 Intrusive Thoughts come from Learned Helplessness 0:11:45 How Learned Helplessness creates escalation of What It Would Take To Influence This Situation and that creates Intrusive Thoughts 0:13:16 Another way towards Intrusive Thoughts is, What Would It Take To Get You To Empathize? How Do I Recreate My Lived Experience In Your Body? uuuuuuh, I guess, uuuh, enhanced interrogation? because nothing else seems to work. 0:15:30 Sidebar: How people having intrusive thoughts and being disturbed by them provides cover for people who talk openly about their inclinations to create a sense of normalcy for when they actually act on those harmful actions. 0:19:15 Stochastic Terrorism as portrayed by mob violence from being Under The Umbra / an Emotional Regime of Othering, and how an Umbra of a non-collaborative relationship creates a direction for the violence for Stochastic Terrorism to occur 0:25:13 But non-collaborative Umbras creating emotional regimes which include an oppressed group or a scapegoat 'target of blame' also create the same micro environment as Stochastic Terrorism does on the national level and the Umbra creates the same obfuscation of Plausible Deniability 0:26:13 When you are in a non-collaborative relationship and the invisibility shield plus learned helplessness means you feel powerless to influence THAT relationship, you then run the risk of heaviliy overburdening the relationships in your life that ARE collaborative... until they cut you off for self-preservation, because you have become non-collaborative from being underresourced 0:31:13 Non-collaborative relationships happen all the time, phasically and because of neurodivergence; in every demo and SEC and can be co-morbid with other conditions; and being perpetually non-collaborative creates an Umbra where the people Under the Umbra feel the effects I've described in these episodes 0:32:32 First step: look in your metaphorical rear view mirror and blind spots, or open the closet door to peer at the jumbled storage, to see where you are in relationship with a non-collaborative person, to pierce the invisibility shield and start to make plans about how to change that relationship, cultivate self-compassion and self-forgiveness and relationship repair, and find resources 0:33:43 When you pull down the invisibility shield, suddenly a person who appeared normal before suddenly appears to be an...

Duration:00:39:35

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Under The Umbra Ep 04 - Collaboration Part 1 of 3

5/29/2023
NOTE: When this episode was recorded, Electra still had an active license to practice acupuncture. As of July 2024, all her licenses are in INACTIVE or LAPSED status. See website for more details. In this episode, weā€™re discussing Collaboration! This is part 3 of 5. The next two episodes are more about Collaboration from the same conversation with my co-host. Iā€™m not sure yet what the next topic will be because Iā€™ve got several lined up. The Co-Host is Kiki and you can find her work here: Instagram: @heretic.homestead TikTok @heretichomestead And now YouTube @heretichomestead9896 ! Sections 0:00:00 Intro0:01:13 Introduction Chat0:09:18 Content WarningsContent warnings for Parts 1 2 and 3 of the Collaboration episodes: To explain what it feels like to be in a non-collaborative relationship, I and my co-host describe distressing psychological experiences such as hypervigilant anxiety, ruminative and psychogenic insomnia, ā€œbarrage of rhetorical convincing,ā€ intrusive thoughts that involve interpersonal violence, homicidal ideation, suicidal ideation, destruction of institutions; losing supportive relationships and becoming isolatedContent warnings for Part 1: I mention systemic support that protects police violence and racial bias, from the hypothetical point of view of a person who has experienced the violence. I mention parental neglect; I also obliquely mention how there is a very specific and not fully accurate set of conditions for people to be believed about experiencing intimate partner violence. 0:10:46 Grounding Prayer0:11:54 Kiki's Intro0:12:48 Review of Warm Empathy and Cold Empathy and why I link this with Collaboration0:14:15 Starting to talk about Collaboration and how I define it0:15:25 Interjection: "Over a sustained period of time"0:15:54 Versus Consensus or Agreement which I am less interested in0:21:43 Goal of Consensus presumes that Collaboration is present but it is a separate thing and may not be present. A ā€œconsensusā€ can be actually a unilaterally beneficial thing where one party gave up everything but both parties ā€œagreeā€ to the outcome.0:23:41 When collaboration is working because there is a drive towards empathy underpinning it; it includes room to falter and repair and there are future opportunities for growth and needs to be met and to build trust and reduce distress0:27:24 Why I Chose Collaboration as the Pair to Empathy and What it feels like to be in a non-collaborative relationship0:29:59 Intrusive thoughts Interjection0:31:45 Interjection about Suicidal Ideation - Nationwide Crisis Line is 9-8-80:35:15 The Invisibility Shield over the most distressing Non-Collaborative Relationship0:37:59 What years of tiny, individually dismissed instances of having your needs-wants-desires-preferences not cared about adds up to crushing dehumanization aka be nice to your friends who just broke up or estranged from someone0:41:09 The Barage of Rhetorical Convincing aka How to have 18+ justifications for existing, moving, breathing, speaking, and maybe wanting something sometime ever0:42:53 Hypervigilant Anxiety which can lead to intrusive thoughts, obsessive and ruminative thinking, and compulsions0:46:16 Vigilant anxiety during the day leads to rumination insomnia at night which can turn into anxiety about sleep loss which worsens anxiety and sleep dep makes you under-resourced0:47:40 Outro, Credits, and Disclaimer References mentioned in the show can be found in show-notes: This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at...

Duration:00:50:10

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Under The Umbra Ep 03 - Empathy Part 2 of 2

5/19/2023
NOTE: When this episode was recorded, Electra still had an active license to practice acupuncture. As of July 2024, all her licenses are in INACTIVE or LAPSED status. See website for more details. In this episode, weā€™re discussing Empathy! This is part 2 of 5. The next episodes will be about Collaboration, and you can listen to episode 02 for the intro to warm and cold empathy as a combination of abilities. The Co-Host is Kiki and you can find her work here: Instagram: @heretic.homestead and TikTok @heretichomestead In this episode, weā€™re discussing Empathy! This is part 2 of 5. The next episodes will be about Collaboration, and you can listen to episode 02 for the intro to warm and cold empathy as a combination of abilities. The Co-Host is Kiki and you can find her work here: Instagram: @heretic.homestead and TikTok @heretichomestead Sections Libro.FM linkBookshop.org linkLibro.fm linkBookshop.org linkThis is Criminal PodcastEpisode 51 Money TreeThis Is LoveSchema TherapyDBT/Dialectical Behavior Therapy This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. Find the show's home at Under The Umbra . Info Support the show via Patreon.com This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. The show is supported by ā€œResponsiveā€ Patrons: E.S. and KC.C. as well as several more on the Structured and Unscripted levels! Thank you so much for your support! Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera Alcorn!

Duration:00:41:18

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Under The Umbra Ep 02 - Empathy Part 1 of 2

5/12/2023
This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. NOTE: When this episode was recorded, Electra still had an active license to practice acupuncture. As of July 2024, all her licenses are in INACTIVE or LAPSED status. See website for more details. In this episode, weā€™re discussing Empathy! This is part 1 of 4. The next episode will be more about Empathy, and then weā€™ll have 2 episodes about Collaboration. The Co-Host is Kiki and you can find her work here: Instagram: @heretic.homestead and TikTok @heretichomestead Sections - Show Intro - Intro essay with content warnings for the whole show, and a TL;DListen for this 4-part series. - Trigger warnings for talking about Empathy and Collaboration challenges - Links to other discussions of warm (emotional, affective) and cold (cognitive, dark) empathy - TL;DListen summary of Empathy Parts 1 and 2 and Clickbait for Collaboration Parts 1 and 2 - OMG I talk a lot! Will this change? Maybe. On with the conversation! - Intro to Kiki! - Grounding Prayer and Intentions - "Empathy" is a stack of neurological functions that we can have developmental or situational (phasic) strengths or challenges with, and when we investigate the stack of things that build it up, we can see how we can get challenged. - Empathy Challenged - more specific detail - what makes up empathy? Includes Mirror Neurons, Theory of Mind (not mentioned but included: memory of our own emotional and body state) - Warm Empathy involves Caring - as in, I have lovingkindness towards you, and also, I have desires about outcomes in this situation - Warm Empathy linked to "Conscience" as well as minimally prompted felt-sense of shame and guilt about having harmed others - Cold empathy is "cognitive" but still subconscious, and has many of the same actions, but has less of the embodied "drive" that prods action. - More about Cold Empathy and pattern recognition for where you fit into society and sorting out what the rules are, which includes Salience as in Important, Relevant, Significant, Noteworthy. - Digression about the words Good and Bad and why I prefer Pro-Social versus Self-Oriented or Survival-Oriented; because that makes it hard to describe harm and patterns of harm, and how to set up systems of incentives for pro-social and harm-reduction behavior - Thought exercise to develop empathy for people behaving Empathy-Challenged because of being Under Resourced - Choosing "Empathy" as a concept to evaluate and plan for interpersonal and systems interactions, and how being Empathy-Challenged can trigger "personality disorder" levels of difficulty in flexibility in how one responds to stress (also, my cat is loving on the microphone). - Outro and Credits - To Be Continued in Part 2 References mentioned in the show: Autism In Heels by Jennifer Cook Oā€™Toole at Libro.FM and Bookshop.com (These partially affiliate links.) @livedexperienceeducator clip about perspectives on empathy @NarcJester Instagram post about types of empathy and kindness with low empathy post Find the show's home at UnderTheUmbra.Info Support the show via Patreon.com This podcast was created, recorded, edited and produced by me, Electra, and brought to you by Bridge to Becoming LLC. The show is supported by ā€œResponsiveā€ Patrons: E.S. and KC.C. as well as several more on the Structured and Unscripted levels! Thank you so much for your support! Music is by SoulProdMusic on Pixabay and used with permission. Show art is by Lo Carter, 2023. Subtitle crafted by Vera!

Duration:00:43:43

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Under The Umbra Ep 01 - Introduction

5/5/2023
This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community. I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, letā€™s find our way back to the light. NOTE: When this episode was recorded, Electra still had an active license to practice acupuncture. As of July 2024, all her licenses are in INACTIVE or LAPSED status. See website for more details. In this episode, weā€™re discussing the reason for the show, the meaning of the name, and a bit of introduction of the values and identity of the host. Sections - Intro - Descriptions, Depictions, and a New Model for describing and planning for challenging behaviors and systems - Total Solar Eclipse as a metaphor for challenging relationships and institutions - The values that support the show - The intersectional identities of the host - Electra - Outro and Credits - Disclaimer - Farewell until next time Find the show's home at UnderTheUmbra.info Support the show via Patreon.com/UnderTheUmbraPodcast (Link updated 6/1/2023) This show is brought to you by Bridge to Becoming, LLC. Music is by SoulProdMusic and used with permission. Under the Umbra Podcast logo is by Lo Carter.

Duration:00:17:50