Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

A mother writes in about the fact that her teen son and his friends - who come from a mix of racial, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds - "jokingly" use slurs. Does she have the power to stop this? Dr. Lisa and Reena explore what's driving the rise in hateful language and what adults can do to address this hurtful behavior. Reena asks whether it's realistic for adults to think they can change the dynamics that unfold when teens are with their friends. Dr. Lisa offers advice on how to guide teenagers toward acting with empathy and respect. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

With online betting now legal in most states, sports coverage is increasingly saturated with commentary focussed on betting and ads for gambling apps. Teens are noticing - and some of them are getting in on the action. It's increasingly easy and common for teens to bet on sports and, at times, to lose large sums of money. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how teens find ways to place bets, why they want to, and what parents and caregivers need to know if they have a teen who might be interested in sports betting. Dr. Lisa lays out the psychological science explaining why gambling can be addictive and offers guidance on how to talk with teens about the potential dangers of sports betting. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When kids hit thirteen they often become highly emotional. What happens in the brain and the body during this time? Dr. Lisa explains and also talks about the process of "separation-individuation" where young people seek to define their own identities - often by being hard on their folks. Parents sometimes assume that age thirteen is the beginning of adolescence. But is it really? And how can you help a tween or teen who's having an emotional meltdown? Dr. Lisa has good news: the intensity of early adolescence doesn’t last forever and there are effective things parents can do to manage bumpy moments with their teen. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s easy to track kids using cell phone technology. But is it a good idea to do so? Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks two key questions: What, exactly, does tracking accomplish? And does it really help to keep teens safe? Reena asks about the downsides of tracking a teen’s location and Dr. Lisa lays out the tricky scenarios she's encountered in her practice. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Lisa and Reena explore the making of Disney-Pixar's "Inside Out 2" with special guest, Dr. Dacher Keltner, a UC Berkeley psychologist renowned for his research on emotions. The discussion begins with Lisa explaining her role in the film, highlighting how Riley, now 13, navigates the new emotions of adolescence. Dr. Keltner shares insights on selecting the original five emotions and introduces the sequel's new characters: Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment, and Ennui. Dr. Lisa draws on her expertise in adolescent anxiety to discuss how the character of Anxiety is portrayed in the film. Dr. Keltner delves into the significance of awe and his research findings in this area. The episode concludes with an exploration of the emotional complexities of adolescence and the cultural impact of "Inside Out 2," offering important takeaways for both parents and teens. This is the Ask Lisa podcast movie of the summer - you'll want to share it with the whole family! Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can families make the most of their summer? Dr. Lisa says it’s all about the S.U.N.: "S" for sleep, "U" for unplugging, and “N" for nature. Dr. Lisa and Reena explore why it's essential to find time during the summer months to rest, disconnect, and spend time outdoors. They offer practical tips for family digital detoxes. Their conversation unpacks the research on the psychological benefits of being around nature and how summer offers the perfect opportunity to embrace it all. Dr. Lisa also explains the importance of scheduling, planning, and maintaining routines to help carry these habits into the fall. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When should you consider limiting your child's use of TikTok? A parent seeks advice on managing a tween’s use of the popular social media platform. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the appeal of TikTok and address the concerns that many parents have. Reena asks several key questions including: What are the downsides of consuming short-form video content, much of which seems to be mindless? How and when should parents set boundaries around TikTok use? And if parents are really worried about their kid’s social media use, what’s the best approach? Tune in for realistic guidance on the complexity of parenting in the digital age. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ DAILY HARVEST Create healthy habits that last with Daily Harvest. For a limited time only go to www.DAILYHARVEST.com/asklisa to get $30 off your first box plus free shipping. HONEY LOVE Treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market and save 20% Off at www.honeylove.com/ASKLISA After you purchase, they’ll ask you where you heard about them. Tell them the Ask Lisa podcast sent you. EARTH BREEZE Ask Lisa listeners can receive 40% off Earth Breeze just by going to www.EARTHBREEZE.com/asklisa Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do parents balance their wish to know about their kids’ lives with their teens’ right to privacy? Dr. Lisa and Reena talk through the tension of respecting teens’ autonomy while staying informed as parents, particularly in the context of teenagers keeping personal journals. A letter from a thoughtful mother of four teenagers raises important questions about navigating boundaries and fostering open communication. Dr. Lisa explores the ethical implications of secretly reading a teen’s journal and highlights the importance of also preserving trust.. She provides insights into why teenagers may close themselves off from their parents and offers alternative strategies for maintaining connection and support. Reena asks what the research says about the costs and benefits of snooping in order to learn more about our kids. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Product Codes: Get 15% off LolaVie with the code ASKLISA at https://www.lolavie.com/ASKLISA #lolaviepod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the complexities of dealing with an angry and disrespectful son. In response to a letter from a concerned parent, they address how to navigate power struggles and they detail effective strategies for managing disruptive behavior. Dr. Lisa explores the underlying dynamics at play and offers insights as to why the son may be acting out. She discusses the potential pitfalls of punishment and explores alternative approaches to discipline that prioritize repair, connection, and communication. Reena asks if punishments really work. The episode offers practical advice for fostering positive parent-child relationships, even in the context of challenging behavior. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the challenge of making a big move with kids. A parent writes in with concerns about her kids' reactions to the news of the move and asks how to best support them through the transition. Dr. Lisa provides insights on how parents can prepare kids for moving and offers age-specific strategies for helping children cope. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the importance of validating emotions, maintaining predictability, and involving children - when possible - in decision-making. Dr. Lisa also addresses common misconceptions about the implications of moving at a young age and explores the benefits of parents sharing their own feelings about the transition. Tune in for practical tips and guidance on navigating family transitions with empathy and resilience. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sleep is essential for mental and physical health, but most teens don’t get nearly enough of it. Special Guest Lisa L. Lewis, journalist and author of "The Sleep-Deprived Teen: Why Our Teenagers Are So Tired, and How Parents and Schools Can Help Them Thrive," joins Dr. Lisa and Reena to answer listener questions about teens and sleep, tech use, summer bedtimes, school start times and more. Their conversation unpacks the results of the Stanford Sleep Study, and Reena finds out how Lisa L. Lewis helped change school start times in California. Tune in for expert advice and practical tips to ensure that our teens get the rest they need. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can adults steer teens away from marijuana in states where the drug is now legal? A parent writes in asking for guidance on raising teens in a community where pot use is wide-spread and normalized. To complicate matters, the parent uses recreational cannabis at home but worries, appropriately, about how early experimentation with the drug could compromise her teens’ safety and well-being. Dr. Lisa and Reena address several crucial questions: What are the risks associated with adolescent marijuana use? How do adults have effective conversations with teens about the potential harms of using pot? And how do we help our teens make good choices now that we are raising them in a cannabis-friendly world? Listen to Reena's interview with Education Secretary Miguel Cardona on FAFSA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnobVC432HE Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do you respond when your child is being bullied? A concerned parent writes in about her 12-year-old daughter who is being taunted by three older boys on the school bus. Dr. Lisa unpacks the dynamics of bullying and answers several key questions: What’s the difference between conflict and bullying? Why do kids bully? What is the impact of being bullied? How and when should adults step in? The conversation addresses the step-by-step process adults should consider when addressing bullying in order to not make the situation worse. Reena asks what adults can do to support children who are being mistreated by their peers and what really works to prevent bullying. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A parent writes in about her 17-year-old son who is reeling from a tough breakup with his long-time girlfriend. As the teen faces the transition to college and grapples with intense sadness his parents have several questions: Should they be concerned about his reaction? How can they support him, especially when he shuts them out? And must high school sweethearts part ways before college? Dr. Lisa describes the many ways that adults can help teens cope with heartbreak including offering empathy, providing comfort, helping the teen establish healthy boundaries with the ex, and more. Reena asks if there’s any way to prevent heartbreak in teens and the conversation covers how best to help young people navigate the loss of their first love. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Lisa and Reena respond to a letter from a parent who feels uneasy about her ten-year-old’s sudden interest in expensive skin care products. The parent finds herself stuck between two bad options: buying her daughter products that are costly and unnecessary, or being at odds with her daughter because she refuses to do so. Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the many forces that come together - some new, some age-old - to drive the current trend of tweens and teens taking an interest in high-end skin care routines. Their conversation addresses how kids’ interest in luxury skin care can open up critical conversations about peer pressure, social media marketing, and unrealistic beauty standards. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s not always comfortable to talk with our kids about pornography - but it’s something all parents need to do. Indeed, research shows that 12 is the average age at which kids first encounter pornography, and that by age 18, 79% of teens have been exposed to violent porn. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how it is that so many kids end up seeing pornography and the harms associated with viewing it. They also provide clear, actionable guidance on raising this delicate subject with kids and what to say once the conversation gets going. Before the episode ends, Reena gets practical tips from Dr. Lisa on making these discussions less uncomfortable for both parents and their children. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Illicit fentanyl has contaminated the drug landscape and is causing record deaths among young people. How should parents talk with their teens about this fast-moving crisis? What can we say to help keep our kids safe? In this critically important episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena are joined by Ed Ternan and Marcia Lee Taylor of Song for Charlie, a national non-profit dedicated to raising awareness about the dangers of fentanyl. Ed, who tragically lost his 22 year-old son to a counterfeit prescription pill, and Marcia, former President and CEO of the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, cover the basics about fentanyl and offer concrete guidance on how to have effective conversations with teens about its dangers. Be sure to check out The New Drug Talk resources available at their website: www.songforcharlie.org Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A concerned parent seeks Dr. Lisa's guidance on building and maintaining a connection with her teenage son. Despite efforts to spend quality time together, most family activities are met with resistance. The parent wonders if it’s normal for her 15-year-old son and, more recently, her 11-year-old daughter, to hold their parents at a distance. Dr. Lisa and Reena explore the challenges of enforcing family time and suggest alternative approaches that can work. The episode answers several key questions, including: Is having dinner together sufficient to strengthen family bonds? How do parents foster connection during the turbulent teen years? And when it is time to worry about a teen’s reluctance to spend time with the family? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A devoted parent seeks advice on whether her 15-year-old daughter should be on birth control. Despite having open discussions about many topics, the daughter - who is in a long-term and intense heterosexual relationship - refuses to discuss contraception. Dr. Lisa weighs in on how to talk with teens about readiness for physical intimacy, and how to get teens to be open to awkward, (but necessary) conversations about their developing love lives. Reena asks if fifteen is too young to be having sex and how else parents might broach the subject of safe sex with teens. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When should parents be concerned about a teen who resists making social plans and chooses to hang out at home instead? A parent writes asking if she should be worried about her introverted son. He excels academically, has a job, and exercises regularly, But he chooses to spend weekends at home playing on his phone or working on his computer. While he has friends, he rarely initiates plans with them and makes up excuses for not joining their activities. As the end of high school approaches, his mother worries about his ability to connect with peers when he gets to college. Dr. Lisa walks us through the complexities of introversion and extroversion and explains how loving adults can best support teens who enjoy spending a lot of time alone. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices