Zen Parenting Radio

Cathy and Todd discuss cognitive labor, which is the mental effort and worry of anticipating needs, considering options, making decisions, and tracking progress in the home and with kids. They explore how it's connected to emotional and invisible labor and stress the importance of ongoing discussions to reduce resentment and ensure everyone feels seen and understood.

Todd and Cathy emphasize the importance of being present, thinking critically, and doing in parenting, and discussed the concept of human archetypes and the need to focus on the present moment. They also shared personal anecdotes about balancing 'being', 'doing', and 'thinking', and discussed the challenges of societal expectations and the importance of living authentically. Lastly, they addressed underlying issues in relationships, the importance of taking action, and the need to process emotions healthily.

Cathy & Todd discuss why our kids feel pressure to conform, focusing on when it’s developmentally appropriate and when it may be cause for concern. They also discuss how adults feel the same pressure to conform, emphasizing why relating to our kids, rather than judging them, is more impactful for their learning and for maintaining our connection.

Todd and Cathy discuss the importance and value of difficult conversations in partnership and parenting, emphasizing the two extremes: complete avoidance or overbearing insistence on discussing things. They explore how to find a middle ground—being approachable and open, but also willing to set boundaries and agree to expectations. This approach allows for a home environment where real conversations are encouraged and practiced, and where everyone feels heard and comfortable sharing.

Todd and Cathy discuss what brings us joy when we are young versus what brings us joy when we are older. They also discuss agreements that can be made within a relationship to keep communication open and healthy. They share why it’s important to appreciate who we are and where we are now, rather than trying to return to a certain time, body, or mindset that may not align with who we have become.

Todd and Cathy discuss who's in the inner circle of the Brat Pack and who is Brat Pack adjacent based on their memories from the 80s and their experience with Andrew McCarthy’s Brat Pack Documentary. They discuss how growth and self-awareness play significant roles in the documentary, and why some individuals evolve faster than others. They also touch on Inside Out 2 and address a listener question about shifting generational cycles.

Cathy and Todd discuss how women are socialized to become smaller and more restricted, and then begin to unwind and unfold this process once they become aware of what's happening. Cathy provides an overview of this in her Substack titled 'Women Unfolding,' explaining why this is the image she sees in her mind when she works with women. Todd shares his version of men unfolding, and they discuss songs that have parentheses in the title and debate whether or not those parentheses are necessary.

Todd and Cathy discuss acceptance and emphasize the importance of releasing old ideas and remaining open to new ones in order to figure out how to accept and move forward. They also discuss the reality of nuance and paradox, explaining why decision-making is not about finding the 'right' decision, but rather the right decision for right now. The also talk about Tim McGraw's music and how it reminds us to be our best selves.

Cathy and Todd discuss why necessary conversations are so difficult to manage and why and how we try to avoid them. They share examples of the experiences that lead to avoidance and offer insights into developing understanding instead. They emphasize why the most challenging and reactive conversations can be pivotal for relationships and lead to greater intimacy.

Cathy and Todd discuss Netflix's 'Love on the Spectrum' and why the people and families featured make it such a good watch. They discuss the importance of loving, and liking, our children just as they are, and how this allows them to thrive, and they analyze Harrison Butker's speech and why it was offensive in many different ways.

Cathy and Todd discuss Gen X slang and intertwine the most popular phrases with clips from the most memorable pop culture moments. They discuss how language changes over time and break down the most popular Gen Z slang, offering suggestions on when to use it (or when not to).

Cathy and Todd discussed the viral "man or bear" debate, addressing why many women felt compelled to pick "bear" and why some men felt hurt or angry. They discussed the importance of listening and empathy when it comes to other people’s experiences and how being defensive might be our initial reaction, but we can choose compassion and understanding. They also discussed why opting out of something we don’t want to do makes room for the things we do want to do. Todd and Cathy are hosting a live discussion about the “man or bear” debate on Monday, May 20th at 7pm CT through the MenLiving platform – all genders are welcome, see below for link to join.

Todd and Cathy discuss how to talk to kids in the morning without being too annoying. They also discuss when to use Gen Z slang and when not to, and why not "needing" too much from our kids makes us easier to talk to. They also discuss Taylor’s new album, the movie Swingers, and why pop culture makes for great conversation with our kids.

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of developing talents and the challenges of pursuing one's passions. They also emphasized the need for understanding and empathizing when teenage boys lash out or question their belonging (they share an audioclip from Dr. John Duffy). They shared the difference between empathy and sympathy, and why it’s important to be really clear about what you need and ask for it. They ended the show by discussing the victim, villain, hero triangle and what it really means when you are 'hero-ing' someone.

Cathy and Todd discuss the distinction between weaponized incompetence and regular incompetence, exploring how gender norms and societal expectations shape these ideas. They engage in real-time reflection on how they navigate these dynamics within their partnership and parenting, and they stress the need for communication and flexibility depending on the situation. This is a good episode to listen to with your partner or friends! Lots of issues to discuss and process.

Todd and Cathy discuss two factors that make parenting feel more self-directed and understandable. While it will still be messy, unpredictable, and tiring, at least you will feel more in your integrity while doing it! They also talk about listening skills, anxiety, NCAA basketball, and Beyoncé's new album.

Todd and Cathy discuss about how genuine curiosity helps our kids really hear us and value what we're saying. The same goes for understanding each other in a partnership or empathizing with someone from a different gender perspective. When we're open about not having all the answers, it paves the way for learning and staying connected.

Cathy and Todd discuss the importance of emotional conversations with our kids and why we need to pay attention to how we experience and perceive what our children are telling us. They discuss what kids really need from us when they are emotional and how we can support them without absolving or absorbing their pain. They also discuss Friday Night Videos and commercials from the 80’s.

Todd & Cathy discuss why it’s the ordinary moments that make us feel connected and content, and why what we end up missing are the simple things, not the big things. They also discuss the five things that make someone a Gen Xer, have a follow-up discussion about astrology and its usefulness, and Cathy talks about her new book RESTORING OUR GIRLS, coming in early 2025.

Todd and Cathy discuss the stories we create about our lives and process whether or not we can reconsider our stories – not to deny reality, but to focus on what’s working rather than what’s lost. They also talk about role models for men, why it’s important to acknowledge every aspect of ourselves, what’s going on with Hall&Oates, and whether or not astrology is a science-based tool.