No-Budget Nightmares

HOT DAMN! No-Budget Nightmares returns.. AGAIN?! It feels like only a month ago when NBN returned from its THREE YEAR hiatus to J all over your Bs with meaty podcasting action, and now THE BOYS are back again, this time goofin' and grinnin' with the 1990 Buffalo-shot martial arts masterpiece BLOOD AND STEEL, written by, directed by and starring safe-cracker/bad-ass Mark Swetland! It's full of kicking and punching and nunchucks and throwing stars and just the most amazing accents you'll ever hear. In fact, I'm going to stop writing this summary and go watch it again RIGHT NOW! Note: The film features some moments of sexual threat which, while extremely goofy in context, might cause some listeners distress. When you hear the sound clip of one of the thugs pouring a beer into a purse, feel free to skip ahead ten minutes or so. Sorry!

After three long years we're free! TIME TO CONQUER EARTH! Yes - improbably - it's the return of No-Budget Nightmares! Since March, 2020 the podcast has been laying in wait, but we're back to insert ourselves once again into the overcrowded world of low-budget film podcastery! All your favorites are back: Moe! Doug! Yawning! Creaky chair sounds! Audio clips! Too-long run times! And we've returned with a BANG, covering Anthony Polonia's kaiju (or is that kiaju?) comedy ZILLAFOOT from (the year of our lord) 2019. With a sub-Suburban Sasquatch monster suit and an ending that threatens to break Moe's brain, it has everything you could want out of a NBN subject. Listen and tell your friends, you FIENDS!

Miss us? NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES has - as you may have noticed - been taking an extended break during the ongoing end of the world, but we miss all of you SO much so we decided to release something special. A couple of years back the legendary Todd Sheets asked Moe and Doug to provide a commentary for the Blu-Ray release of his horror-comedy CLOWNADO. Neither of us ended up seeing a copy in the wild, but it was reported back to us that they DO exist. Either way, we figured enough time has passed at this point that even people who don't own a CLOWNADO Blu-Ray deserve to hear our lovely voices talk for 90 minutes about clowns and tornados and how they intersect. It may not be a new episode, but it's the NEXT BEST THING. Enjoy!

Your no-budget pals Moe and Doug have been at this since 2011, so we figured it's about time to let our listeners get a word in. On this VERY SPECIAL episode of No-Budget Nightmares we have letters and audio clips from our listeners, who are eager(?) to ask questions, make comments, and to reinforce why it's probably best to leave this to the professionals (does anyone know any?). It could be a disaster, but there's only one way to know for sure. Let's listen!

A horrible plague threatening to destroy the earth? Only in the movies! On episode 126 Moe and Doug return to the greatest Argentinian zombie trilogy ever: PLAGA ZOMBIE! This time we're looking at the most polished of the bunch with PLAGA ZOMBIE: ZONA MUTANTE: REVOLUCION TOXICA (2011), which sees the return of Max Giggs, Bill Johnson and our beloved John West, who do battles with zombies, aliens and zombie aliens in a desperate attempt to save the world! Along the way we get blood, gore, friendship, pantomime birth, and the musical number to end all musical numbers. JOIN US.

On episode 125 of No-Budget Nightmares it's the apocalypse.. AGAIN! This time the animals have risen up to take out humanity, and we have an intrepid (and very cold looking) trio making their way across Rochester, New York to deliver a cell phone. On the way, there's rabbit attacks, squirrel attacks, gorilla attacks, turtle attacks and SO MANY MORE ATTACKS. It's RISE OF THE ANIMALS and it's a) fun as hell and b) only an hour long. WHAT A CONCEPT! TAKE DRUGS AND LISTEN.

I WANT YOU FOR.. THE ZOMBIE ARMY! On a brand new episode of No-Budget Nightmares THE LADS take on the 1991 SOV Delaware-lensed zombie classic THE ZOMBIE ARMY. Featuring: TWO head explosions, neck biting, battery acid-fu and some LETHAL LADIES (/w theme song). It's the best thing going today, and it's all for you. CHECK IT OUT, MAGGOTS!

In the arms of an angel! It's NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES #123, and we're getting RELIGIOUS with the apocalyptic green-screen sci-fi madness of Fabian Rush's PANTHEON BLACK. It's a bit like ALIEN, a bit like EVENT HORIZON and a bit like that dream you had after eating a burrito where nothing made sense and everyone looked a bit fuzzy. But you have MOE and DOUG as your guides, which means FUN (fun not guaranteed). Time to watch!

This week on No-Budget Nightmares we're chatting about a true obscurity. It's the brand new (actually old) shot-on-video horror film METAL NOIR, originally directed by David R. Williams back in 1990, before immediately falling into obscurity. That was, until shot-on-video writer, creator and historian Tony Masiello unearthed it, polished it, and brought it back to the world as a special edition DVD. But was all that effort worth it? It's up to Moe and Doug to pass judgment. I wonder what they'll say? GUESS I'LL HAVE TO LISTEN AND FIND OUT!

WALKER! We've got another Patreon request episode, and this one is a DOOZY. 1997's SUDDEN FURY is full of explosions, full-body burns, gore, and incomprehensible accents. It also has the late David Warbeck (from Lucio Fulci's THE BEYOND) in one of his final roles. It's a rare No-Budget Nightmares action movie, and Moe and Doug get positively giddy as they walk through the bonkers plot (and some truly wretched acting) to get to the good stuff. Also, they go a little overboard on the accents. Sorry!

On a BRAND NEW episode of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES we're watching Jim Haggerty's 2000 slasher film called, uh, THE SLASHER! It has bad acting, sound and dialogue, but what about the plot? That's bad too! But that's ok, since we're going to go through it scene by scene anyway, because what ELSE CAN WE DO? Nothing! CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE AND LISTEN!

BULK SMOOSH! As you may have guessed 2012's THE AMAZING BULK is a mockbuster/parody of Ang Lee's THE INCREDIBLE HULK, except made in five days and shot entirely against a green screen using pre-rendered stock footage and computer generated models. It's exactly as good as that would suggest. There are tornado transformations, Stanley Kubrick references, ED humor and.. look.. it's garbage, ok? But its short garbage. It's No-Budget Nightmares. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

HORROR! TERROR! SCARES! On this episode of No-Budget Nightmares we're discussing 1986's TERROR AT TENKILLER, which is so incompetent they forgot to record any audio while making it, so a different crew had to step in and complete the darn thing! Moe and Doug have plenty of fun picking this dull slasher movie apart, and we even bring on the wonderful Freeman Williams (who provides a voice in the film) to tell us about its creation and to recreate a memorable scene with our hosts! We also announce our upcoming live stream, which you're going to want to be a part of. IT'S ALMOST TOO GOOD! LET'S CHECK IT OUT!

A no-budget nightmares RETURN! And this time, thanks to a Patreon request, we're delving back into the work of Don Dohler! In fact, DEAD HUNT is Don's final film (co-directed by HARVESTERS' and STAKES' Joe Ripple), and it's an old fashioned slasher flick with a touch of post-SCREAM metacommentary for good measure. It's tons 'o fun, aside from a few issues with, uh, pronunciation. Have a listen and tell your friends right.. NOW!

YES! No-Budget Nightmares returned with the movie that killed Monday, whupped Tuesday and put Wednesday in the hospital! It's Todd Sheets' VIOLENT NEW BREED. It's a ton o' faith-based fun, with a gang of drug-pushing "Breeders" making life hell for the citizens of "New York City", and features the immortal Rudy Ray Moore in a supporting role! It also has demon plant vaginas, Pac-Man shirts, JERRY ANGELL, Satan, and so much more! LET'S DIG IN!

And now for something EXTREMELY different. Thanks to a Patreon request from listener Tyler Sharp, we've been blessed with a one-of-a-kind item: a preliminary cut of Matt Farnsworth's IOWA that was later re-edited for DVD release. Unlike most/all No-Budget Nightmares features, this one had a budget, a crew and name talent in front of the camera, but guess what? It's bad! Meth, corn, mangled genitals and bowler hats abound in this mess of a movie, and we're here for it. Clear off your afternoon and have a listen.

We're back! It's a HOLIDAY MIRACLE! After a two month hiatus, No-Budget Nightmares returns with the 1987 Canuxploitation oddity BEYOND THE 7TH DOOR, starring the unforgettable (and unintelligible) Lazar Rockwood! Our hero, joined by a cocktail clad - and much more competent - lady-friend chainsmokes his way through SEVEN DEADLY ROOMS in order to unearth some hidden treasure, but will his greed get the better of him? I'm betting YES! It's a grand old time all around, so time to stop shopping for the kids and start LISTENING.

It's another NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES PATREON SPECIAL, and that means something WEIRD! And, in this case, something GERMAN! Thanks to listener LARS for forcing us to watch the 2003 action-satire-gore-comedy OPERATION DANCE SENSATION, which has MASSIVE GUNS, endless NINJAS and an EPIC running time it doesn't quite deserve. But it's plenty violent, and has a snappy theme song, and that's good enough for us. GATHER YOUR FAMILY AND LISTEN!

It's a NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES *FIRST*! A SEQUEL! Moe and Doug return to ARGENTINA to check out the mid-point of the beloved PLAGA ZOMBIE trilogy, and they LOVE IT! In fact, there's some discussion about whether this is the BEST NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES FILM EVER! But that's at the end. Before that, you'll have to enjoy hearing THE BOYS wax philosophic about beheadings, disembowlings and JOHN WEST! It's all that and a bag of chips, so what are you waiting for? START LISTENING, JERKS!

Sgt. Gregory Dapp is a renegade space cop hunting down a deadly creature across the cosmos. The beast, called a PHOBE, makes its way to planet earth with DAPP hot on its trail, but soon comes upon a young high school cheerleader who has unknowingly stolen its egg. Can DAPP protect the young woman AND steal her heart? Can he stop the PHOBE from reproducing and bring it back to his commander? Can he sport the dumbest haircut in cinema history? Can he dance awkwardly with a HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT? Can he constantly wear sunglasses to cover his glowing yellow eyes? ALL WILL BE REVEALED on the latest episode of No-Budget Nightmares, featuring the Canadian classic PHOBE: THE XENOPHOBIC EXPERIMENTS!