The Empowered Wife Podcast

If you miss snuggling on the couch, dreaming about your future together, and spontaneous dance grooves in the hallway, it’s disappointing when that goes missing. Without love, there’s just work and chores and sleep. It’s lonely and sad when all the joy is sucked out of your marriage. But if you want to feel desired again, get pats on the butt just because, and see his face light up when you walk in, you can get it all back. You can have deep conversations and silly ones too. On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, I’ll reveal 3 steps that will fix your relationship so that it’s loving instead of loveless. Plus, even though my guest Margaret’s household was miserable and explosive, she was incredibly hurt when her husband moved out then said he wanted a divorce. But she made some changes and today she feels secure and happy with her best friend in their now peaceful home! She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too.

This is the 200th episode of the Empowered Wife Podcast, so first of all, let’s have some confetti! Yay! It’s because of you listening to this podcast every week, many of you more than once, that it’s been so successful. So thank you for listening, for thinking marriage is important enough to learn about and work on, because it is, and for the glowing ratings and reviews, and for sharing the podcast with your friends and family! I’m so grateful. I want to celebrate with you that we’ve been together for all these years, working on making our marriages stronger, staying inspired, and changing the world by changing our own families, making them strong. On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re going to reveal 5 lessons from 200 empowered wife podcasts. I’ll take you behind the curtain to introduce you to my podcast team and share their aha moments. My guests today are two master relationship coaches and two husbands, one of them mine! They’ll talk about the top 5 lessons we’ve learned from doing 200 Empowered Wife Podcasts.

It's annoying when you’re trying to have a conversation and your man either clams up and gets cold or raises his voice or starts arguing with you. It seems mysterious why he’s so riled up. If only he’d relax so you could have a normal conversation! I used to be so confused about why my husband would look exasperated when I’d made an innocent comment. It turns out that, without meaning to or even realizing it, I was offending him. I didn’t think he should be offended! But now that I understand how, it’s not surprising he was reacting so badly. On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re going to answer the question “Why is my husband so defensive?” I’ll share 3 embarrassing ways I unintentionally made my husband feel he had to protect himself from me. My guest Rachel studied the 6 Intimacy Skills™ before her relationship even started but found that practicing them in theory was very different from practicing them in marriage. Here are the adjustments she made so she now says she’s married to the best husband in the world!

Lacking emotional and physical intimacy in my marriage was miserable. With no deep conversations, flirting, or laughing together, I felt rejected and neglected, NOT desired, which is something really important to me. What’s the point of even being married?! After the connection and playfulness we used to have, I knew what I was missing, which made it even worse! Thinking this is just what happens when you’ve been married a while didn’t stop me from wanting the intimacy back. On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about what to do when there’s a lack of intimacy in your marriage. Plus, my guest Joanne was heading for another divorce. When she changed her approach to her marriage, her husband seemed suspicious. But now she feels secure about the future of her peaceful marriage. She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too!

The silent treatment can make you feel really bad and make you desperate to end the tension. It’s scary and takes up a lot of energy wondering how long it’s going to last, if it’s still on, and if there’s something you should be doing differently to fix it. It feels horribly rejecting when someone you love won’t speak to you, answer you, or look at you—like a punishment with no end to the sentence. So what can you do when you’re being shut out? On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about how to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Being pregnant is vulnerable. When you’re getting ready to welcome a baby, you want to feel secure about your future, to know that you’re loved and desired, that you’ll be protected and taken care of. So it’s an especially scary time to feel rejected. Pregnancy messes with your body so much that it can also feel like you’re not very attractive. Then if he’s less physically affectionate, you could assume it’s because you don’t look hot anymore in your maternity pants. Or someone might tell you that you just feel rejected because your hormones are making you crazy. So now you’re not just rejected, you're also unattractive and crazy!—and it’s all out of your control. But is that what’s really happening? On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about what to do if you’re feeling rejected by your husband during pregnancy. Plus, Sue had a breakdown in her marriage even though she’s a well-loved relationship coach who has been practicing the Intimacy Skills for many years. She decided to get coaching herself and manifested some big desires, including making her marriage hot again in more ways than one. She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too.

A coach recently shared with me that she decided to become a coach even though she didn’t love her husband because she wanted to be kinder. She was actually guarded against falling back in love. Then she spent a year becoming an expert on the 6 Intimacy Skills, practicing them at the highest level with her classmates. She surprised herself and did start to notice what a great man she had married decades ago. And she came to a coaches’ call recently to admit that, despite her best efforts to just leave him out of this, she was in love with her husband. So, if you don’t want to fall back in love with your husband, do not practice the 6 Intimacy Skills with a supportive community and structure or you’ll end up excited and happy to be with him. You’ll end up with a romance instead of a roommate and co-parent. He’ll seem sexy to you again. It’s crazy, I know! On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about how to fall back in love with your husband. Plus, my guest Julie wanted her husband to change, and he just wasn’t! With life throwing them some big curveballs, their connection was very strained. Then Julie started experimenting with the 6 Intimacy Skills™, and today her marriage is just what she wanted all along: a peaceful, fun and strong union.

It feels terrible when the guy who used to trip over himself trying to help you is now interested only in staring at his phone or staying at work all the time. What a disappointment. Especially when you have so much to do and so many responsibilities because you set out to be partners but now he isn’t doing much to contribute. Why isn’t he supporting you and what can you do about it? On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about 3 signs he’s not supportive. I’ll share what to do if he doesn’t listen to you, appreciate what you do, or do what you ask. Plus, my guest Jill was so unhappy that she left her 30-year marriage twice. There were lots of arguments, and her husband made her feel guilty when she spent money. But when he introduced her to the audiobook The Empowered Wife, she decided to experiment. Today they have a closeness they’ve never had. She’ll tell us how she did it so you can do it too.

On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about what to do when you find yourself thinking, “Hey, my husband and I have nothing to talk about.” Because nothing feels lonelier than being married and just eating together in silence or living under the same roof but never having the deep conversations you’re craving. I’ll share 3 doable ways you can both become great conversationalists so you get those deep talks. My guest Diane’s relationship lacked connection. She felt like she and her husband barely knew each other. Having conversations was like pulling teeth, and there was barely any physical intimacy. When she started some new practices though, in just a few weeks things became different at her house. Her husband pulled her close at night and the resentment dissipated. She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too.

It feels so rejecting when you find out your guy doesn’t love you back, like you’ve been let down in the worst way when you least expected it. Your head races with terrible thoughts about how this could have happened, whether it’s hopeless, and what it means for your future, which can seem so dark. Does it mean you’re not lovable? I have proof it does not. And if what you want is for him to respond like you’re an irresistible magnet so you feel desired, let’s bust some myths that could hurt your relationship. On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about what to do when he doesn't love you back. Even after all the fighting in my guest Julia’s blended family, when her husband decided to move away it was a terrible wake-up call. She started practicing the 6 Intimacy Skills™, and a year later he still wasn’t coming back. But today her marriage is so connected and strong, she knows they’re soulmates. She’s going to tell us what she did so you can do it too.

If you are trying to practice the 6 Intimacy Skills™ in your relationship and it feels like they’re not working or you can’t remember to do them or you’re not sure how to do them in your situation, that’s so frustrating and discouraging! You are not the only one. On this podcast, I interview women who have had success transforming their marriages because I want to talk about what’s possible for you and your marriage so you feel inspired and hopeful. My guests share how they did it so that you can try the same things. But I get that even when you know what the 6 Intimacy Skills are, it can still be tricky to implement them by yourself. On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about how to transform your marriage with the 6 Intimacy Skills™. Plus, my guest Laura was frustrated with her husband’s video gaming and how late he came home. She was also struggling with postpartum depression and overwhelm as a mom. She felt so lonely and unsupported. But today she feels confident as both a wife and mother, her family thriving in a way she couldn’t have imagined. She’s going to describe how she changed practically everything in her life so you can do it too.

It feels really bad when your husband doesn’t care about your needs, even when you tell him over and over. But what if it’s not that he doesn’t care but that you haven’t been well trained on how to communicate your needs in your relationship, just like I wasn’t? I was a communications major in college, so I thought I was really good at communicating. I knew what I needed and wasn’t afraid to say it. But it turns out I was confused about several things. On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about how to communicate your needs in a relationship. I’ll share 4 common mistakes that could be stopping him from meeting your needs. Plus, my guest Mary and her husband were living like roommates and co-parents, which she figured was just the way life is, full of ups and downs. So she was surprised to learn that she could turn things around by herself, but she dug into the 6 Intimacy Skills™ and found that a happy marriage is 100% possible and an absolute pleasure. She’s going to tell us what she did so you can do it too.

Men are highly motivated to make their wives happy. Notice I didn’t say “some men” or “most men” but just “men.” That’s because in my research where I asked thousands of men how important it is that their wife is happy, they ALL said the same thing. That it’s the most important thing, everything, it’s of utmost importance, or in the UK, they said it’s imperative. In other words, they all wanted to feel like their wife’s hero. You might even think, like I thought, that your man is one of those rare men who doesn’t have a hero instinct. A lot of our students thought that too, but I’m happy to say we were all wrong. On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast we’re talking about how to trigger a man's hero instinct. I’ll share 5 ways to trigger his hero gene—and how you could be unwittingly sabotaging his opportunities to be your hero. My guest Jamiee Lee slapped her husband, and then, she found out he was cheating. It’s not a stretch to say they hated each other. Then she read the book The Empowered Wife and from the minute she tried the 6 Intimacy Skills™, she knew they were working. Today, she says her husband just wants to be her hero, and her marriage is 100 times better. She’s going to tell us how she triggered his hero gene so you can do it too.

It’s terrible to feel like you can’t trust the man you married, whether you don’t trust him to be faithful, to take care of the kids, or to be responsible with money. It just feels bad. You don’t feel heard because if he cared, he would listen to your concerns and try to support you by doing the things you want him to do so that you could trust him. That’s depressing because if you can’t get him to straighten up, it’s pretty hopeless that you’d ever be able to trust him, especially if he keeps letting you down and reinforcing that he doesn’t deserve your trust. How’s that ever going to improve? On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about what to do if you don’t trust your husband. My guest Kelsie didn’t trust her husband, and their arguments sometimes lasted for weeks. She worried they were just one argument from divorce, something she didn’t want to go through a third time. But when she did two specific things differently on the verge of an argument, everything changed. Today she is so grateful to be married to an honorable and faithful man that she can’t stop smiling. She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too!

On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about how to live with an addict. My guest Karyn was devastated by her husband’s addictions to porn, alcohol, drugs and gambling. When she tried to address those issues, he responded with rage. She realized that wasn’t working and learned a whole new approach to communicating her needs, and today she feels beyond blessed to laugh and enjoy her time with the amazing man she married. She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too.

I was the perfect wife. Right up until I actually got married. That’s when it all went kablooey. I worked so hard as a wife that I gave myself at least a nine out of ten. But I wasn’t scoring so high on the wife scale with John. That’s because I was actually an overbearing, prickly porcupine wife who thought she knew better than him about everything. My criteria of what made me good wife material and his criteria were not the same. At all. On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast we’re talking about how to actually be a good wife. I’ll share the one skill that will boost your good wife score dramatically. Plus, my guest Kaydee’s cold, distant husband wanted to separate. She felt hopeless because he wasn’t willing to work on the relationship. Then, to her horror, she discovered she hadn’t been the good wife she wanted to be, and she started some new practices. Today her marriage is cheerful, connected and intimate. Also, he can’t do enough home projects for her. She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too.

There’s no worse feeling than discovering your worst fear has come true and that the man you promised to love, honor and cherish has done the unspeakable. It’s crushing. If most people knew what he did, they would tell you “He doesn’t deserve you.” Which feels validating because what he did was low and wrong, and you don’t deserve that. But no one else can decide for you what’s best for you. Women whose husbands have betrayed them keep showing up on our campus and blowing my mind by fixing their marriages. And I don’t mean just keeping them together, mind you, but really making their marriages amazing and shiny again, sometimes shinier than they’d ever been! On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about what to do when your husband betrays you. Plus, my guest Isabel was seven months pregnant when she discovered her husband’s affair. She was so hurt, lonely, and depressed, she even had suicidal ideation. Even when she went all in on the 6 Intimacy Skills™, he was confused and skeptical. But today her marriage is peaceful, joyful, and better than it has ever been. She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too!

My guest Robyn was doing life by herself, lonely and disconnected from her emotionally unavailable husband. But then she did something that made her stop crying and made the arguments stop. Today she feels cherished and is her husband’s “chooky” again. She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too! On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about the secrets of magnetizing an emotionally unavailable husband.

For years, my guest Tilly’s husband threatened her with divorce. They argued constantly and she was living in fear. Then she started doing some experiments, and the results were so positive that she says she has no fear because her marriage is now peaceful and strong. She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too. On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast we’re talking about what to do if your husband blames you for everything.

My guest Anne was separated for over two years, and her husband started seeing another woman. When Anne started with the Intimacy Skills, he responded very negatively. But today their marriage is passionate, loving, romantic, fun, goofy, supportive and better than ever. How did she do it? She’s going to tell us so you can do it too!