Good Grief with Cheryl Jones

Uncovering the hidden injuries of a life spent denying oneself is deep, painful and meaningful work. How do we find the tenderness and courage to do it well? Heather Plett peeled back the layers of her own truth and discovered it is possible. As she healed herself, she came to long for a larger healing, beyond the individual and spreading into her family, her community, her culture and the world. How do we tenderly support one another to find this deeper healing?

Meredith Burns' mother was a constant emotional presence in her life, there to offer support, advice and solace. When that began to change, Meredith, and the whole family, searched for an explanation. Was she depressed? Having a psychotic break? Less interested in supporting them? Over the years, it became obvious that there was a serious problem going on, one that all the medications that had been prescribed for her would not address. Finally, the diagnosis came; Frontotemporal Degeneration. What a terrible diagnosis to face! But knowing what was happening earlier would have saved her, and her whole family, from thinking she didn't care or that she needed a pharmacy of medications for things she didn't have. As a result of her own experience, Meredith has become an advocate for seeing the early signs of the disease and getting diagnoses as soon as possible.

A relationship with a sibling holds the keys to our upbringing. No other person knows what it was like to grow up in your family. Some siblings are close, others not, but if you have siblings, it leaves a mark. What happens when sibling dies? There has been very little work done to understand the impact of this under-attended loss. After her own sibling died, Annie Sklaver Orenstein applied all her considerable research talent into better understanding herself and other mourning siblings. The result is Almost a Sibling, a book that carries her own experiences and also those of the many people who shared their stories with her.

When Ashley Jones' daughter died, it threw her into a profound grief she didn't know the way out of. In those early times, pictures brought some comfort. As she moved through her own grief, she wanted to offer that comfort to others. She offered free photo shoots to people anticipating a loss and saw the impact it had. Over time she founded her organization, Momento, to continue to supply photo shoots while offering grief education and organizational consulting. Join us to learn how she found her way forward.

Farah Naz Rishi is Pakistani, American and Muslim. Her memoir, Sorry for the Inconvenience, deftly portrays the overlapping pressures that made it hard to find herself. We'll be talking about grief, family dynamics, tragedies and how to become yourself against the backdrop of family, community and intergenerational overlays. How did Farah learn to live her own life, with so many expectations of who she should be? And how did the difficulties force her to come to terms with her choices?

In her work encouraging healthier relationships as a way to live a happier life, Katarina Blom already knew how key connection is to happiness. Then she was chosen to be the psychologist in a television series called The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, produced by Amy Pohler. Along with an interior designer and an organizer, she supported people to deal with their stuff, leading to surprising changes in their well-being. In the process, it became evident that clearing the roadblocks in our lives, with our stuff AND with our relationships, clears the way for more joy, deeper connection and more authenticity. We'll talk about her work before the show, the filming of the episodes, and how her time with the subjects they supported strengthened her commitment to making room for it all; within community.

Ethan Sisser wanted to die in ecstasy, surrounded by music, community, beauty, but mostly, love. His wishes did not fit neatly into even the hospice paradigm but he was able to draw together a group of supporters, one of whom offered him room in his home so that Ethan's community could care for him in the way he wanted. He also found Aditi Sethi, a palliative care and hospice doctor who agreed to act as his death doula, guiding him (and all of them) along the way. The film of his final days, The Last Ecstatic Days, captures a death epitomizing love and grace, with Aditi guiding those around Ethan to support him as he navigated his final passage from brain cancer. Aditi comes to the show to share what the experience meant to her and how she has evolved her work to embody the message that we can all die in a sacred way with the right resources and a loving community.

Anticipating the joy of welcoming her first child, Lindsey Henke was completely unprepared for the shock of that child's stillbirth. Although Lindsey had been a practicing psychotherapist for a few years, she had not had that much therapy herself. Suddenly, those tools she had learned about, and therapy itself, became invaluable to her. Over time she dedicated herself to working with other people on the journey to and through parenthood as well as the grief that often accompanies life transitions. Her specialization in reproductive mental health, including guiding parents through the multifaceted terrain of infertility, perinatal loss, pregnancy after loss, and the delicate postpartum period, rely on her own experience learning how to love the child she lost.

Personal experience with grief and mental health challenges in her family led Anastasia Zadeik to write her novel, The Other Side of Nothing. The families she wriwtes about struggle to know how to support themselves and each other in all their challenges. Through a spellbinding trip across the country, they slowly find their way. What was it like for her to write it? How did she employ her family experiences to add teh details that gave the story life. And did writing the book help her to come to terms with her own experiences?

As a younger sister, Ona Gritz idolized her older sibling. But as the favored child with a disability, she could see her sister struggling. It was thirty years after the murder of her then pregnant sister, partner and baby that she was finally ready to unpack the effect of that loss and the family secrets that had become interlaced with her pain and guilt. Out of this path towars healing, Ona wrote a book; an ode to her sister and an exploration of all the hidden corners of her family. The result it Everywhere I Look, and through it we can have a conversation about the effect of traumatic loss and everything behind it.

When Dena Rueb Romero discovered a box full of letters and memorabilia in her mother's house, she furtively took it home with her. Although she knew her parents had fled the holocaust, they failed to share the details of their story, choosing instead to focus on the life they made in Hanover, New Hampshire. Diving into their story Dena learned so much about their traumas- and their triumphs. Gaining a greater understanding of their story also illuminated her own, bringing understanding of the ways they passed on their pain and resiliency along the way. A profound example of the healing power of narrative, her book also is a testament to all those who have fled persecution. We'll be talking about loss, grief, trauma across the generations and the power of truth to light our path.

What gets you through your own times of chaos? For Noah Asher, it is a deep Christian faith. Already a practicing Christian, his understanding of how that could support him as he faced prison and profound loss grounded him in his belief. It also led to his work; to support others facing times of chaos, offering the assurance that in going forward we find our deepest callings. With humor and honest sharing about his own experiences, he reinforces the idea that yes, we suffer and also yes, there is a way forward.

Have you ever imagined you were getting a handle on your loss and then been blindsided by a surprise tsunami? As Lisa Keefauver captures in the title of her new book, Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. But there are some tricks to help us navigate the turbulence. Number one, accepting that it's unpredictable. Join us for a discussion of our own losses and what they've taught us about going froward after loss. As two people who have lost spouses, we have a lot in common!

Myra Sack and her husband Matt were very lucky. They had fallen in love with the right person, had work they were deeply committed to and had a new baby. Into the middle of their charmed life came the worst possible news; their perfect daughter had Tay-Sachs disease. She would live a very short life. A mistake in the testing they had received for Tay-Sachs blindsighted them. Reeling from the news and immersed in the question of how they could possibly live out this time, they decided they would celebrate Havi every day of her life. And every Friday they would gather friends and family in their home for Shabbirthday. They would love her and cherish her and hold her as if each Friday was both a holy shabbat and a wonderful birthday party. They had no way to imagine how they would grieve her, but they decided to live fully with her as long as they could with whoever also wanted to grace this beautiful child with their love. And with that simple promise, they found a way to put one foot after the other.

Courtney Deane knows grief from the inside out, having lost both of her parents at a young age. Determined to create something beautiful out of her losses she wrote a book exploring what happiness ever after looks like after loss. She also knows first hand that happiness is not static, it can be found and then lost. Join us to talk about her book, When Happiness Ever After Fails, and the happily ever after she has created for herself.

Every body that has been lived in will eventually need to be cared for after death. What is the most earth friendly option currently available for after death care? Recompose is arguably not just the greenest but also the most careful about honoring the entire life cycle of our bodies. By composting human remains until they become soil, the planet is enriched. Partnering with land trusts when loved ones don't want the soil ensures that the cycle can always be completed. Join us to learn more about the process and the people who have pioneered it. Already available in Washington state, they anticipate expanding into other areas and licensing other providers in the near future. Knowing that we have honored the after death process contributes to a smooth transition into grief!

Have you ever noticed that after similar traumas, at similar times of life, with so much in common, some people remain traumatized indefinitely, some recover through resilience, while others transcend and grow? Although there is a certain amount of mystery and we can't accurately predict which path a given person will follow, there are ways to favor growth and meaning after trauma. In fact, most therapy involves addressing the person's traumas in order to move forward better than before. But still, understanding the way traumas affect the brain and body, what qualifies as trauma for each person, and what might make growth harder helps each of us use our understanding as a tool for change. Through examples and suggestions to encourage post-traumatic growth, Dr. Edith Shiro shares a hopeful message of positive potential in a world containing an extraordinary level of trauma. Hear how she invites her clients and those who read her book to consider something better than simple resilience.

Faced with numerous losses and feeling deep grief, Jamie Thrower could not find grief services that understood how to support a queer griever. Struggling through the feelings and inevitable difficulty of their own grief, they became intent on doing their part to save others from what they experienced. Queer Grief Club was born! As a death doula, workshop leader, writer and artist, they have made it their mission to offer safe spaces to grieve for members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Warren Kozak thought he had prepared himself for the death of his wife. He knew he would feel sad but had no idea that he would have to invent a new Warren. In the absence of her larger than life presence, he felt unmoored and alienated. Slowly, over time, he became a new version of himself. Because he is a journalist, he chronicled every step, including the resources he accessed to understand this new territory. He met with widowers, read books, tried many things in an attempt to get a handle on the experience of losing his wife. In the end, it was only putting one food in front of the other, a step at a time, that moved him into the life he would lead going forward into the future.reinvention

Roshni Kavate and Rebecca Servoss noticed in their own grieving the lack of services to support grief, especially for people across all identities. They committed to creating a new paradigm for grief support, built on hope, joy, and the strength of the human spirit. Their organization, Marigolde, they sought to support grieving boldly, loving tenderly, and celebrating the blooming, visceral transformation that unfolds in grieving people. As two nurses trained in offering support and committed to inclusion in all their rituals, practices and writings, they are creating a vision of Revolutionary Grief Wellness!