It's Complicated

Change your mindset and change your life! Your mindset determines the actions you take and the actions you don’t take. This is why EVERYONE talks about the importance of changing your thoughts. We all know that if you are worrying about an issue, telling yourself to “not worry’ or to “calm down” does NOT help. Let’s also be clear, changing your mindset isn’t a cute way to put a positive spin on a negative situation either. Those bad dates, breakups and relationship issues are real and we're not asking you to cover the trauma with rose colored glasses but we do think changing your mindset can spin things in a positive direction! What if there was a way to train your brain to hand pick the good things that exist in your current reality? Well, there is and we are going to help you get yourself out of negative dating and relationship thought patterns! There is a filter in your brain called the reticular activating system. This RAS won't change your reality, but it will change YOU and your ability to face adversity and give you courage and resources to face issues that come up time and time again in your love life! We break down what the RAS is, how to use it correctly, what exercises you can use to train your brain everyday to only let the important stuff filter in and how this can change your dating and relationship struggles for good! Head to loveshoptoys.com/itscomplicated and enter code ITSCOMPLICATED to save 20% off almost all regular priced products. @loveshoptoys #loveshoptoys Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

Whether you’re on a vacation and looking for love or you’re in your hometown swiping or walking your dog and waiting for a rom com “meet cute,” you’re probably feeling anxious to find “the one” and get the relationship going, right! You might think this sense of urgency sounds like desperation but we think being sure about what you’re looking for and standing solid on your expectations, boundaries and standards can help you fast track your road to love, as long as you don’t ignore the ever so dreaded red flags and fall for someone without really knowing what you’re getting into. Committing to someone is the ultimate goal and there are ways to become exclusive and drive into a relationship without getting a speeding ticket for premature emotional "investulation." We are going to guide you through some tips we read posted by Erica, @your.relationship.reset, a relationship therapist and dating coach, that will help you identify if early emotionally investment is a pattern for you, how to be intentional about your dating decisions, why healing your abandonment wounds is important and 12 warning signs that you are emotionally investing too soon! Head to loveshoptoys.com/itscomplicated and enter code ITSCOMPLICATED to save 20% off almost all regular priced products. @loveshoptoys #loveshoptoys Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

Sometimes having sex just isn't in the cards. Maybe your work schedule is cray, you have kids and minimal private time, you aren’t feeling sexy because of an emotional issue or maybe you're just in a rut. Whatever the reason is, it happens to all of us. We can read all of the “getting in the mood” tips out there (in fact we JUST did a show based on that very topic) and while these tips are helpful and relevant you might need to take a different route if you're looking for intimacy. Our past guest Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick is always keeping it real on the gram and has inspired us with another post about this very subject. We list all the ways you can find intimacy outside of sex, why we think these examples are crucial to a healthy relationship and dive into tips based on what we do and don’t do in our own relationships! Head to loveshoptoys.com/itscomplicated and enter code ITSCOMPLICATED to save 20% off almost all regular priced products. @loveshoptoys #loveshoptoys Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

Third time's a charm! We gave you an exclusive interview with Rob on being single and loving it, went for a quick spin around Jen’s fast paced relationship and now it’s Lauren’s turn in the relationship hot seat. For those of you who have been listening from day one, Lauren gave us the behind the scenes from her first date with James, her now husband, on one of the very first It’s Complicated episodes! Now, seven years later, a marriage, a step daughter and two babies later Lauren has a lot to talk about. We’re excited to close the It’s Complicated circle of interviews with Lauren, who might not have a complicated relationship status but her married life, like most married couples, isn’t without complications. We get serious and ask Lauren her thoughts on dealing with general marital issues, what she thinks about people leaving a marriage as soon as it gets tough and why they should focus on working through their issues instead, and her tips on how to keep things feeling fresh! Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

If you listen to our pod on the reg-u-lar then you’re likely here because you need relationship advice of some sort. Consider yourself lucky because between the three of us (single, in a relationship and married with kids) we cover all your relationship needs. If we aren’t currently going through a relationship issue or milestone, we most likely already have lived through it AND have interviewed an expert or dissected it on the show. We recently interviewed Rob, our in-house expert on being single and loving it, but this episode, it’s Jen’s turn in the relationship hotseat! For our loyal listeners, you have all followed along and listened to Jen’s dating dilemmas as she went from a highly annoyed and burned-out-on-swiping single to in a serious relationship, living together and talking about getting engaged in Q3 couple in under a year! This all sounds quick, we know! Jen is on the fast track to ALL OF THE THINGS and we dive into what was different about this relationship compared to all the other guys that came and went, how you too can navigate through a fast paced relationship without ignoring red flags, and where Jen currently stands on relationships now after being in one for almost a year. Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

Does one person in your relationship often claim they are just not in the mood? This is a common feeling that can leave the relationship feeling unbalanced and eventually breed frustration, guilt and resentment. Problems like this are very common and they can resurface if you don't find the correct tools to deal with it and make a change! Well thank god for The ‘Gram and one of our past guests (she also happened to be one of our fave guests too) Dr. Jolene Brighten and her always insightful content. Recently, she posted about sex and what can prevent you from getting in the mood! We look at our relationship moods past & present, dive into the gas and brake pedal theory is and the imbalance in libido within hetero couples, discuss how to determine your speed, share how to communicate your red and green lights to your partner, and unpack why it’s important to openly communicate about these issues with in your relationship! Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

Toxic relationships are the new “boy who cried wolf” Are you really in one or are you just throwing around the popular buzzworthy term? It’s probably one of the most overused terms on social media which is why we need to be able to correctly identify it in order to stop it, fix it or leave it behind! It’s a very common issue that most people experience although most of those people aren’t even aware that they are guilty of the behaviors themselves. Are there any toxic behaviors that we are guilty of ourselves and want to come clean? To clear things up, we have Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick in to discuss self awareness around toxic behavior, the definitions of common toxic behavior terms and how to identify them, and tips for how to address and correct the behaviors if you and your partner are guilty of being “toxic.” Follow all things Dr. Frederick: @drelizabethfedrick Listen to her pod “Relatable” here: https://www.drelizabethfedrick.com/podcast Get Coached here: https://www.drelizabethfedrick.com/relationshipcoaching Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

We discuss the scandal that is rocking the headlines….SCANDOVAL! Some of us have personal connections to the Vanderpump cast, and Kristen, Peter and Ariana have all been guests on this show! We love Vanderpump Rules mostly because it’s massively entertaining and it’s a guilty pleasure but we have to say, the relationships that have developed and crumbled in front of our eyes has to be the most captivating part. Like the rest of the world, we are glued to the TV trying to figure out what is going on and find hidden clues as this season unfolds. If you are just as confused and equally as intrigued as we are, then listen to this episode because we dissect the Scandoval drama with a timeline of events, our opinions as to why we think all of this is going down, what the cast and other reality TV personalities are saying, our advice for anyone going through betrayal, and our predictions for the end of season 10. Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

We are each in different phases of the relationship game, and we all have unique expertise when it comes to approaching love in our own specific lane, if we do say so ourselves. Like anything in life, there are ups and downs, positives and negatives and being single is no different. No one enjoys the anxiety and worry about the potential of never finding anyone and ending up alone, but the upside perspective is that there can be so many fun, carefree and independent moments that come along with being single. Today we are interviewing our very own Rob Evors who is going to chat with us about his current relationship status, what he enjoys most about being single and what he can’t wait to say goodbye to when he finally couples up, what he thinks about finding love while traveling, what he thinks is the most ideal way to find love, and he shares the most valuable lesson he’s learned about being single. Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

We all know which type we like, or maybe some of us are still trying to figure it out, but do you know which type of dating couple you are? Yeah, it's a thing, and we think it’s up there with knowing which “love language” you speak. This episode we go over the four different types to help you identify the category you fall into in order to know if you need to try dating differently, or if you are on the path to a long lasting relationship. We also determine which we currently fall or previously have fallen into, and why there might need to be a need for a 5th type, because it’s complicated! Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

We have another Valentine's Day in the books and WE NEED TO TALK! A lot has been going on over in the It’s Complicated village - with Rob’s recent wedding travel, Jen’s BIG MOVE in with the BF and Lauren’s day with the whole fam, it got us thinking about how we are all in much different places on this hallmark holiday than years past. We represent a wide range of people in the dating world…single and traveling, in a relationship and taking the next step, and being married with kids. So, find out how this Valentine’s Day looked and felt for all of us now! Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

What is the problem with dating? We’re on the heels of Valentine’s Day and this question could not be louder in our minds right now. So, why are so many people single? Some think it’s the dating apps that completely changed the landscape of the dating world. Some blame the pandemic. Or is it that the gender roles have been flipped upside down? What we do know is that we are all on this journey together. It takes a village to date. There are loads of posts and tips that truly are useful when attempting to navigate the dating world and we think that one of the most helpful outlets is sharing your stories and experiences to help others, who in turn will help you when the dating waters get rough. That’s why we are excited to have intuitive reader and author of Let That Shit Go, Bruna Nessif back on our show to discuss her new book, The Problem With Dating, how can we fix it, how her intuitive gifts can help guide us through relationship roadblocks, how you can tap into your intuition so you don’t have to tap out on dating, and live love readings with each of us! Return to Yourself with Bruna: Listen to her Pod - HERE Order her Book HERE Go on a Costa Rican Retreat HERE Birth Chart Reading HERE Follow her HERE Get her Journals HERE! Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

She likes the Patriots and I am an Eagles fan! She wants to take it slow and I am ready to settle down. He voted for someone I despise. She likes to travel and I have a demanding work schedule. How do we know if these “situations” that arise in our relationships are deal breakers or if it is something we can work out? These questions can show up in long term relationships, or with someone you’ve just started dating. Either way, both situations carry a lot of weight and confusion when it comes to deciphering just what to do! We found a guide to help navigate this tricky and common issue from the always insightful Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick. Listen along as we share our “go to” list that poses you all the right questions in order to help you check in with yourself and determine if issues can be worked through or if they are deal breakers. Link to Dr. Fedrick's post on Dealbreakers HERE Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

We've all heard of “the secret” and why it’s important to focus our energy into creating a life filled with the things we want. We hear our friends, co-workers and people we follow on social media talking about meditation, crystals, lists, goals, mindsets and self love that helped them find “the one.” All of these tips can be inspiring, but they can also feel overwhelming if we don’t have any direction for how to use the rose quartz sitting on our bedside table while we remain single and swiping our lives away on Bumble. We need rules, boundaries, and a course of action to help us achieve our goals in the world of romance, love and relationships, right? We are excited to have relationship therapist, coach, and host of “Love Talk Live” on LA Talk Radio, Jaime Bronstein, in today to discuss her new book, MANifesting: A Step-by-Step Guide to Attracting the Love That Is Meant for You!, which will teach you experientially, the intricacies and nuances of manifesting that have been lost in translation– until now! Listen along as Jamie shares the 7 steps to MANifesting love, how to connect with your intuition, dating personas and how to release them, and how to identify the negative narratives that are holding you back from finding love. MAN*ifest with Jaime: Listen to her Pod - Love Talk Live Order her Book HERE Free gift HERE Work with her HERE Follow her HERE Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

Most of us have tried conventional things when it comes to finding love. We have all dabbled in getting set up by a friend, going on a blind date, dating apps or even a matchmaking service, but would you give up your home and job to travel to a foreign country to find love? We watched Bravo’s Love Without Borders and it got us thinking about all the aspects that go into finding the one. Can love be manufactured? Is love something that naturally occurs through a physical and chemical attraction out of our control? Or, can love be cultivated and grow with all the right ingredients? We unpack our baggage, and see how far we are willing to go for love. Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

We all know Rob’s favorite seasonal dating trend “cuffing” is in full swing, but did you know there is a cornucopia of other dating trends that have been circling amongst us that we might not even know exist? “Winter Coating,” basically cuffing season's less serious sister, is where people reach out to exes in order to rekindle and extinguish flame to keep warm during the winter months. There is also “Cash Candid” dating, which emerged due to the cost of living crisis and has made it more normal to be transparent about finances and money worries in the first stages of dating. And there is even “green dating” for the people who only want to meet with those who align with their views on environmental issues. Whether you have been cuffed, winter coated, had a first date therapy session about debt, or are still looking for someone to pick up trash on the beach with, get ready to add a few more dating trends to your to do, or to avoid list. We discuss the dating trends Bumble predicts will be popular in 2023, if we think they will stick, and how to navigate the dating path for the new year! Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

We're getting close to the end of the year and we don’t mean to put on the presh but you guys need to get your lives together! No but seriously, with all the dating and relationship pressures on our plates we know it can feel overwhelming to tackle the whole “self care” aspect too. Plus, there’s nothing like the New Years Eve party countdown to bring on the anxiety of looking for a midnight kiss amongst searching for your goals and self reflection notes. Thankfully we are here to give you a little head start before the new year with some topics we found on the ‘gram that will help you ask yourself some important questions before 2023 hits us hard. Listen along as we discuss how some of these questions made us feel, how they affected our relationships and how we feel they could impact yours, why we believe these topics are important, and how to approach them with a potential partner. Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

Cuffing season is officially upon us! Temperatures are dropping, and people are suddenly feeling the urge to couple up. But, when the holidays have passed and the weather warms up, will these flings fizzle out as the new year rolls in, or go the distance in 2023? Despite Rob thinking this phenomenon isn’t real, or that it’s entirely manufactured by women, we dive into how cuffing is different from a vacation or summer fling, and share tips and tricks for how to keep your winter romance from getting messy and winding up on Santa’s Naughty List. Gift your favorite Master Dater It's Complicated merch! Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

You have a fight with your partner, you’ve been going through a rough patch of bickering, you have a trigger that constantly comes up, you are in a new relationship and the first disagreement arises…what is the first thing you do? Call your best friend and vent, or get advice! That’s what friends are for, right? Most of the time yes, but there are some times when rehashing the details of the fight could end up being a bad thing. So, when is it okay to call your friend to cry them a river about the d*ck head thing your boyfriend said, or when to bitch about Yoko at band practice with the boys? Most of the time it’s cool because we get by with a little help from our friends, BUT we're diving into when it's NOT a good time to call up your friends and call someone out, why retelling a recurring argument might push away your pals, how to ask for advice and what to do with it and some things you should NEVER repeat. We've got something you should repeat - our previous episodes - while we take a brief break! We'll be back in November and can't wait to share everything we're up to. Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated

Relationship milestones are always evolving, and seemingly never ending. Once you have the “exclusivity talk,” then you need to wait for the right time to move in together. Once that happens, everyone starts asking when you’re going to get engaged, when are you getting married, when are you going to have a baby and when are you going to have another baby…it never ends, right? To make matters more complicated, it’s difficult to figure out when the right time is for YOU to hit these milestones, the first one being the three words we all long to hear! We dive in and discuss how soon is too soon to say “I love you,” what are the signs that it's the right time to say the magic words, why long distance and being a woman may or may not affect matters, and what to do if your words aren’t reciprocated. Keep it Complicated with Jen, NotJen, and Rob: Host Socials - @jenifergolden, @laurenleonelli, @foreversevors, @complicatedshow Shop our Pod merch - shop here Shop our Amazon store - https://www.amazon.com/shop/complicatedshow Support - https://www.patreon.com/itscomplicated