Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

Today we're revisiting the topic of marriage and non-monogamy, talking about why you might want to get married, why you might NOT want to get married, and some considerations you might want to discuss with a partner if you're non-monogamous. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get a free month of Feeld's Majestic membership and explore open-minded online dating with our link: multiamory.com/feeld This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For today's episode, we're joined by Millie and Nick from Decolonizing Love for a spectacular conversation about polyamory, intersectionality, colonialism, hierarchy, and much, much more. Millie Boella (she/they) and Nick (he/him) are a polyamorous couple from Toronto, Canada, who have been together for 14 years. Millie, of mixed Kenyan and diverse heritage, has always embraced polyamory, influenced by her Maasai background. She founded the Toronto Non-Monogamous BIPOC group in 2017 and is a professional writer. Nick, of Italian and Greek descent, is a healthcare consultant. He works on various community causes, including projects that help men unlearn toxic masculinity. In 2021, they co-founded Decolonizing Love, advocating for polyamory through a decolonial lens. Their work aims to make polyamory accessible and intersectional. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For this week's episode, the Multiamory crew is taking a much-needed break, and featuring episode 308 of Normalizing Non-Monogamy: Bru + Mark! Hosts Emma and Fin talk with Bru and Mark about their guests' relatively recent journey of opening up their long partnership. For Emma and Fin, life is all about seeking out adventure, embracing the chaos, and meeting amazing people along the way. They are in their mid thirties, met in seventh grade, and have been together since their freshman year of college. A year or so into their relationship it was obvious that exploring everything life had to offer was part of who they were as individuals, and as a team. They were very young at the time and neither had really experienced the world of dating, so they created a way to explore aspects of the dating world without ending their relationship, through non-monogamy. Fast forward about 11 years and they decided to start a weekly podcast called Normalizing Non-Monogamy in 2018. They absolutely love meeting new people and hearing their stories and through this podcast they get to interview people from all over the world who are exploring non-monogamy on their own terms. The hope is that if they can get enough of those stories out into the world that it will provide a resource for anyone who is considering non-monogamy. They also want to show that non-monogamy is more common than most people think and that it can be done in an ethical and consensual way. Overall, the mission is to inspire people to embrace their true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.Find more about them and Normalizing Non-Monogamy at https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another Q&A episode where we answer some questions posed by our lovely listeners! Today we're discussing different levels of sexual attraction among various partners, what to do when a relationship seems like it's going TOO well, and how to communicate to a partner that you want to shift away from hierarchy. If you want your question answered on a future episode, consider joining our awesome community at multiamory.com/join! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiGet 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dan Savage joins us today to talk about love, sex, non-monogamy, commitment, and much, much more! Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, a podcaster, an author, and has appeared on numerous television shows.“Savage Love,” Dan’s sex-advice column, first appeared in The Stranger, Seattle’s alternative weekly, in 1991. The column is now syndicated worldwide. Dan has published seven books.In 2006, Dan launched the Savage Lovecast, a weekly, call-in, sex advice podcast. It has 600,000 unique monthly downloads and 20,000 paying subscribers for premium “Magnum” content. It ranks consistently in the top ten Sexuality podcasts on Apple Podcasts.He created and curates the HUMP! Film Festival, a sex-positive showcase of dirty short films, now in its 18th year. HUMP! has become a national phenomenon selling tens of thousands of tickets, screening in over 50 cities across the United States and Canada and streaming worldwide.In 2010 Dan and his husband Terry Miller founded the It Gets Better Project. The IGBP has gathered tens of thousands of videos from people all over the world offering hope to LGBT kids. The book—It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living—was a New York Times best seller. In 2012 the It Gets Better Project was awarded an Emmy.Dan’s graphic, pragmatic, and humorous advice has changed the cultural conversation about sex, monogamy, gay rights, religiosity, and politics. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🎉 Big Announcement 🎉As some of you have already heard, we’re making the big transition from Patreon to Supercast. This move has been 2 years in the making, and we’re so happy that we can finally make the switch in order to make our supporters’ experience even better. Here are the most important things to know about the switch:We’re now officially sliding scale. That means ✨ ALL benefits for ALL tiers! ✨Choose the monthly amount that works for your financial reality, get access to everything:• Private Discord server & FB group• Ad-free & early-release episodes• Monthly video discussion and processing groups• Priority submission for Q&As and AMAs• Early & discounted live event and workshop access• Invites to supporter-only pop-ups and in-person hangouts• Discounts on Dedeker's online courseAdditionally, Supercast has enabled us to offer new features including:🎁 The ability to gift membership (just in time for the holiday season)💰 One-off donations if you’re not interested in subscribing full time🆓 Financial assistance options – if you’re having a tighter month, you can fill out our financial accessibility form at any time to get an automated promo code that will unlock reduced or free membership. This is no questions asked, and you can use the form as many times as you need.More information, FAQs, and sliding scale guidelines at http://www.multiamory.com/join Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're celebrating 500 episodes of Multiamory! Ten years after the first episode, we're telling the story of the beginning of the podcast, revisiting topics from episode 1, and talking about the exciting future of the show. Visit multiamory.com/join to become part of our amazing community! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by writer Andrea Zanin to talk about their upcoming books. Andrea Zanin, MA, is a white, nonbinary, middle-aged queer whose writing focuses on queer sex, nonmonogamy and BDSM/Leather. They have written for the Globe and Mail, The Tyee, Bitch, Ms., Xtra, IN Magazine, Outlooks Magazine and the Montreal Mirror. Their scholarly work, fiction and essays appear in a variety of collections, and they are the author of Post-Nonmonogamy and Beyond and, with Eve Rickert, the co-author of More Than Two, Second Edition: Cultivating Nonmonogamous Relationships with Kindness and Integrity. Andrea blogs sporadically at sexgeek.wordpress.com, where they created the ten rules for happy nonmonogamy and coined the term “polynormativity.” If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multi Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is another Q&A! We'll be answering Patreon questions about whether or not your first relationship should be a non-monogamous one, dealing with a partner's NRE with someone else, and if it's possible to limit one's expansion of feelings for another. If you'd like your question answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a member of our Patreon community! If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do if you can't stand the people your partner dates or dislike how they date? Today, we're discussing all the different ways these situations can play out, any research available about the topic, and how you can get to the crux of what's really going on, along with ways to cope with it. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rachel Krantz is back to talk about her experience with monogamy after being non-monogamous. Rachel is a journalist and the author of OPEN: One Woman's Journey Through Love and Polyamory. She was the namer of Bustle, and one of its three founding editors. She’s the recipient of the Robert F. Kennedy Journalism Award, the Investigative Reporters and Editors Radio Award, the Peabody Award, and the Edward R. Murrow Award. You can follow her on Instagram @rachelkrantz, and subscribe to her podcast, Help Existing, wherever you get your podcasts. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiPractice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For today's episode, we're examining anger from a slightly different perspective: how it relates to anxiety and vulnerability in your relationships. We're going to be talking about the science behind why anger and anxiety are often closely linked, debunking common myths about what these emotions look like in relationships, and giving you practical tools to break free from the cycle of reactivity. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Get hair care that is completely customized to your hair and your life AND get 15% off at Prose.com/multiamory Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're back with another Q&A episode in which we discuss one penis policies, labels and identities, and intimate friendships. If you want one of your questions answered on an upcoming episode, consider joining our Patreon community at www.patreon.com/multiamory! If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're discussing the relationship escalator, which is often criticized in non-monogamous spaces. However, some non-monogamous folks may want the same milestones and journey that the relationship escalator provides, so today we're talking about what can happen if you're someone who wants to move up the escalator with a partner or partners. We'll be going over some pros and cons of the relationship escalator, some research about how quickly people tend to escalate in relationships, and how to navigate your journey if the relationship escalator is something you want in your life. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYTreat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiGet access to “What’s Your Jealousy Trying To Tell You?” a workshop by the author of Polysecure, Jessica Fern. Head to heyplura.com/multiamory and enter the invite code “Multiamory” during onboarding Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're diving into workaholism and its effect on relationships. A lot of us in western (American) culture pride ourselves on working hard and never taking a break, but how effective is this mentality, really? Often, things like our relationships may suffer without a healthy work/life balance, and so today we'll be discussing why some of us work so hard and so much, some habits to look out for that may be causing more harm than good, and how to shift workaholic tendencies so your relationships can thrive. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Get access to “What’s Your Jealousy Trying To Tell You?” a workshop by the author of Polysecure, Jessica Fern. Head to heyplura.com/multiamory and enter the invite code “Multiamory” during onboarding Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're welcoming guest Owen Ever to the show to discuss insights they have learned from researching the animal queendom's social-sexual dynamics. Ever is a community-oriented artist and educator committed to wonder, history and healthcare justice. They were previously a curator and historian at the New Orleans Pharmacy Museum, worked in HIV support and prevention at a community clinic and were a research associate with the CDC's national HIV behavioral health survey. They are a theatre maker, therapeutic medical clown and find queer joy in birdwatching. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Get access to “What’s Your Jealousy Trying To Tell You?” a workshop by the author of Polysecure, Jessica Fern. Head to heyplura.com/multiamory and enter the invite code “Multiamory” during onboardingPractice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another full-length Q&A episode where we answer questions from our Patreon supporters. Today we'll be discussing cPTSD and over-analyzing, resources for polyamory support, and non-hierarchical polyamory and plus ones. If you'd like your question answered on the next Q&A episode, consider joining our Patreon community! If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiGet access to “What’s Your Jealousy Trying To Tell You?” a workshop by the author of Polysecure, Jessica Fern. Head to heyplura.com/multiamory and enter the invite code “Multiamory” during onboardingMidwest Love Fest is a brand new all day conference about relationships, identity, community, and non-monogamy coming August 17th to Indianapolis, Indiana.Get 10% off tickets with promo code MULTIAMORY at swlovefest.com/midwest Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're very excited to be showcasing an episode from our good friend Libby Sinback's podcast, Making Polyamory Work. In this episode, she's discussing unmet needs in polyamorous relationships from multiple angles. Libby Sinback is a queer, polyamorous mom, the host of the podcast Making Polyamory Work and a coach for people who want extraordinary relationships while choosing to live and love outside the status quo. She is certified in Relational Life Therapy, and has coached hundreds of people in breaking their unhelpful relationship patterns so that they can have happier, more nourishing love in their life. Libby believes love is why we're here, and how we heal. Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Get access to “What’s Your Jealousy Trying To Tell You?” a workshop by the author of Polysecure, Jessica Fern. Head to heyplura.com/multiamory and enter the invite code “Multiamory” during onboardingMidwest Love Fest is a brand new all day conference about relationships, identity, community, and non-monogamy coming August 17th to Indianapolis, Indiana.Get 10% off tickets with promo code MULTIAMORY at swlovefest.com/midwest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're excited to be joined by Brett Chamberlin from OPEN! Brett (he/him) is a social impact organizer with over a decade of leadership experience building a more just and joyous future. He is the founder and Executive Director of OPEN, the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy. Prior to launching OPEN, Brett worked in the environmental movement as the Director of Community Engagement at The Story of Stuff Project and the co-founder of the Post Landfill Action Network. He lives in the California Bay Area.We'll be chatting with Brett about progress for non-monogamous folks over the past few years, from securing rights to overall awareness of non-monogamy as a relationship style. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Midwest Love Fest is a brand new all day conference about relationships, identity, community, and non-monogamy coming August 17th to Indianapolis, Indiana.Get 10% off tickets with promo code MULTIAMORY at swlovefest.com/midwestGet access to “What’s Your Jealousy Trying To Tell You?” a workshop by the author of Polysecure, Jessica Fern. Head to heyplura.com/multiamory and enter the invite code “Multiamory” during onboarding Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, join us for a hopeful discussion about depression! We'll be sharing some personal anecdotes, some research about depression, and some tips for dealing with depression when you or your partner are experiencing bad mental health episodes. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiGet access to “What’s Your Jealousy Trying To Tell You?” a workshop by the author of Polysecure, Jessica Fern. Head to heyplura.com/multiamory and enter the invite code “Multiamory” during onboarding Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices