Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

This week we're highlighting an interview Dedeker did on Rachel Krantz's show, Help Existing. Rachel is also the author of Open: An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy. Rachel and Dedeker have a great conversation about boundaries, covering topics like, How do you figure out what your boundaries are? How should you go about communicating boundaries in a way that is both firm and compassionate? How can you remain flexible and open to change without having porous boundaries? Do the same strategies apply to both familial and romantic relationships? Make sure you check out more of Rachel's show! Get hair care that is completely customized to your hair and your life AND get 15% off at Prose.com/multiQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're continuing our Q&A episode today with guest Kitty Stryker. Kitty has been working on defining and creating a consent culture for over 13 years through her writing, workshops, and website consentculture.com. She's the editor of "Ask: Building Consent Culture," author of "Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook," and is especially interested in bringing conversations about consent out of the bedroom into everyday life. In her copious free time, Kitty works as a street medic for direct actions, plays Dungeons and Dragons, volunteers at the local animal shelter, and cares for her two cats. She identifies as queer, asexual, sober, anarchist, and femme. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we have a special guest who has been on our show before! Kitty Stryker has been working on defining and creating a consent culture for over 13 years through her writing, workshops, and website consentculture.com. She's the editor of "Ask: Building Consent Culture," author of "Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook," and is especially interested in bringing conversations about consent out of the bedroom into everyday life. In her copious free time, Kitty works as a street medic for direct actions, plays Dungeons and Dragons, volunteers at the local animal shelter, and cares for her two cats. She identifies as queer, asexual, sober, anarchist, and femme. Kitty joins us today to help answer some of our listener questions in another Q&A episode. Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYTreat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multi Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're discussing aromanticism and aromantic partnerships! A lot of us have heard of asexuality, but the spectrum of aromanticism is a little less widely known. Someone who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction to people of any gender, and lacks interest in having romantic relationships, but that doesn't mean the connections they may form with others are lesser than those of us who have romantic partnerships. We're going to discuss the spectrum of aromanticism, some of the common challenges and misconceptions aromantic people might face, and share some thoughts from some of our listeners who identify as aromantic or have aromantic partners. Visit https://www.aromanticism.org/en/faq for a great resource on aromanticism! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're talking about the quality of relationships, and not necessarily romantic ones, and how they can have significant positive effects on your mental, emotional, and physical health. We'll talk about some research findings and discuss some practical ways you can make positive change in all your relationships. Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYVisitShamelesscare.com today and use coupon code MULTI for a sizzling $30 discount at checkout. Don't settle for anything less than Shameless Care. Let them be your partner in embracing a sex-positive lifestyle.Join Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/pd2334-multiamory with promo code multiamory Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As one of the common pop psychology buzzwords on social media today, we've all heard the word "toxic" applied to different situations and relationships. But with the uptick in usage that is sometimes not always accurate or detailed, we can lose sight of its meaning. Today's episode is a lengthy dive into what it really means to be toxic, exploring some common bad behaviors and why they happen. Finally, we're going to leave you with some tangible ways to make positive changes without blame or shame. Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.VisitShamelesscare.com today and use coupon code MULTI for a sizzling $30 discount at checkout. Don't settle for anything less than Shameless Care. Let them be your partner in embracing a sex-positive lifestyle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another Q&A episode, and this time we're joined by Leanne Yau, aka Poly Philia! Leanne is a polyamory educator and sex-positive influencer. She creates and curates humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity, and was named #1 in Cosmopolitan's '10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok'. Leanne has been actively non-monogamous since she was 17 years old, and her content draws from her own experiences as a bisexual, neurodivergent, Chinese woman based in the UK. Leanne also launched the Happy Polydays podcast, narrated a number of polyamory audiobooks, created the #PolyamoryTipoftheDay series, and provides non-monogamous peer support to individuals and couples across the globe. She is currently in training to become a polyamory-friendly therapist, and is on track to qualify in 2026. She was named #1 in Cosmopolitan's '10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok', and Men’s Health named her as one of ‘60 Top Influencers Who Are Worth the Follow in 2023.If you'd like your question featured on one of our future Q&A episodes, consider joining our Patreon community! Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYGet hair care that is completely customized to your hair and your life AND get 15% off at Prose.com/multiVisitShamelesscare.com today and use coupon code MULTI for a sizzling $30 discount at checkout. Don't settle for anything less than Shameless Care. Let them be your partner in embracing a sex-positive lifestyle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Irene Morning, MS, to discuss her book, The Polyamory Paradox, and to pick her brain about somatic coaching, her writing, and more!Irene is a somatic pleasure coach, intimacy educator, polyamorous human, and author of the bestselling book, The Polyamory Paradox: Finding Your Confidence in Consensual Non-Monogamy. Through her coaching, workshops, writing, and in-person sex-positive events, she guides others in creating relationships that fulfill their unique needs and desires. Both her work and personal life revolve around the belief that centering our own pleasure is not only healing on an individual level, but also in service of interdependence and collective well being. Join Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/pd2332-multiamory with promo code multiamoryThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Even if you aren't a spiritual person or don't have a spiritual practice, we have strategies that allow us to avoid facing reality and minimize feeling difficult emotions during times of turmoil. We're going to discuss why we do this, what spiritual bypassing looks like in real life, and how to tell when you're engaging in healthy coping mechanisms versus unhealthy avoidance tactics. Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's episode is for everyone out there who has had a loved one come out to them as non-monogamous. There are a lot of feelings that may come up; you may feel confused, afraid for their wellbeing, or you may have not even heard the term before at all. Listen to this episode where we go back to basics of non-monogamy, some tactics for reacting well to your loved one's journey, and future expectations. Some resources: A fantastic, short book which provides a great jumping off point for those who are new to the concept of non-monogamy and want to learn more: https://www.amazon.com/When-Someone-Love-Polyamorous-Understanding/dp/0996460187/ref=sr_1_5?qid=1689193889&refinements=p_27%3ADr.+Elisabeth+Sheff&s=books&sr=1-5&text=Dr.+Elisabeth+Sheff Very informative blog posts on Polyamory, family, and more by Dr. Elisabeth Sheff: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door Additional podcast episode on coming out to parents from our friend Libby Sinback: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-your-mom/id1487987837?i=1000554057851 Great crash course on polyamory, definitions, what it is and isn’t etc… https://unknownmetric.medium.com/the-coffee-break-polyamory-primer-6c64b4dc53de This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Get a free week of Gold Membership on Monogamish at GetMonogamish.com with the code OPENLOVE.1. Select the Gold 2-week Subscription.2. Proceed to checkout.3. Locate the promotions section.4. Enter the code 'OPENLOVE' and apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Billy Procida to answer some more of our Patreon listeners' questions! Billy Procida is a stand-up comedian in New York City where he runs a monthly naked comedy show. He's been published in Mashable and Marie Claire, and has interviewed his exes for over 9 years on The Manwhore Podcast [feel free to give a disclaimer that it's not exactly the bro show they'd expect from the title — it's kind of like Dan Savage meets Marc Maron. Or just read out this bracket note. If you do read this whole thing out, please then also include that he *is* single and available in case Susan Sarandon is listening.]If you want your question answered on one of our future Q&A episodes, consider joining our Patreon community! Join Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/pd2330-multiamory with promo code multiamoryGet a free week of Gold Membership on Monogamish at GetMonogamish.com with the code OPENLOVE.1. Select the Gold 2-week Subscription.2. Proceed to checkout.3. Locate the promotions section.4. Enter the code 'OPENLOVE' and apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we’re sharing a preview of another show from the Pleasure Podcast Network: Shameless Sex. Join April and Amy as they inspire radical self-love, sexual empowerment, and shame-free intimacy. Shameless Sex is unabashed real talk about sexuality with a playful twist. Today’s clip features return guest and dirty talk Sexpert Lola Kat to talk all about how to master the art of talking dirty in (and out of) the bedroom. Find out more at Shamelesssex.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, we're talking about honesty...honestly. Many of us are taught from childhood that honesty is the best policy, but is it really? We'll be talking about radical honesty, selfish honesty, when "just being honest" might mean "just being a jerk," and, as always, we'll be sharing one of our communication tools at the end of the episode to help you approach honesty in the most informed, nuanced way possible. Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Get a free week of Gold Membership on Monogamish at GetMonogamish.com with the code OPENLOVE.1. Select the Gold 2-week Subscription.2. Proceed to checkout.3. Locate the promotions section.4. Enter the code 'OPENLOVE' and apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We talk a lot about polyamory and monogamy on this show, but what about ambiamory? You may have heard it floating around recently; today we're going to talk about what it is, some of the potential challenges that might face people who identify as ambiamorous, and continue the age-old conversation of identity versus preference when it comes to relationship styles. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.Join Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/bg2328-multiamory with promo code multiamory Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you ready to talk about jealousy again?! For today's episode we're joined by Dr. Joli Hamilton, the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is also a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli also co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast with her anchor partner, Ken. Joli’s been featured in The New York Times, Vogue, and NPR. She’s spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create non-monogamous partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.Today, Joli is here to talk about her research on jealousy and go in depth about her five step approach to managing it, along with some of her other tools and experience she uses in her practice. Find more about her on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter at @drjoli_hamilton, and at www.JoliQuiz.com and www.theyearofopening.com. Join Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/bg2326-multiamory with promo code multiamoryThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is a special crossover with actress, comedian, dating expert, and podcast host Natasha Chandel from the Kinda Dating podcast! Kinda Dating breaks down the modern dating world with different influential guests, exploring why so many of us have commitment issues. For this episode, we're discussing consensual non-monogamy in general, commitment and commitment-phobia, and much more! Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multi Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another Q&A episode to answer some more listener questions! Today we're discussing open, honest conversations with non-romantic connections, feeling undesirable, romantic repulsion following multiple breakups/de-escalations, how to be a good hinge partner when starting new relationships, and more! If you'd like to submit a question for our next Q&A episode, consider becoming a Patreon supporter and posting in our private community! Join Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/bg2324-multiamory with promo code multiamoryQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYConnect with your partner every day using Paired. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For this week's episode, we're discussing the current political and legal landscape for polyamorous and non-monogamous folks. We're fortunate enough to be joined by two experts on this very matter, Dr. Heath Schechinger and Diana Adams!Dr. Heath Schechinger is a distinguished psychologist, scholar, and educator in the field of relationship structure diversity. Over the past 15 years, his work has delved into the challenges of monogamy, infidelity, and the emergence of diverse family and relationship configurations. He is a founding Co-chair of the American Psychological Association Division 44 Committee on Consensual Non-monogamy, Research Affiliate Faculty at The Kinsey Institute, Co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, and Board Member for the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy. In addition to his roles in these organizations, he offers consultation services and maintains a private practice.Diana Adams (they/them) is an international legal leader in advocacy for queer family forms beyond the romantic dyad. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit advocating for diverse family structures, & runs a boutique law firm providing mediation services nationwide for those hoping to negotiate intentional or polyamorous families. Diana’s TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ explains their expansive vision of family. Find them on all socials @DianaAdamsEsq. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we are sharing a preview from one of our favorite podcasts that we think you’ll enjoy. On Sluts and Scholars, therapist and sexologist Nicoletta Heidegger talks with diverse professionals about all things pleasure and sexuality. In this preview, strap in for some strap on information with Sex and Pleasure Educator Luna Matatas. Nicoletta and Luna talk about pegging, anal play, and why it is so hard to just receive pleasure. Join these slutty scholars as they help to make your sex smarter, and your smarts sexier. Listen to Sluts and Scholars at https://www.slutsandscholars.com/ and follow them on Insta @slutsandscholars Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about saturation, or more specifically, polysaturation, or the state in which a polyamorous person has as many significant relationships as they can handle at a given time. We'll be discussing some factors that might influence polysaturation, such as time, distance, family, and health, as well as how it differs from burnout. Our goal is to better understand our own capacities and desires so we can better maintain balance and wellbeing, regardless of whether someone is monogamous or non-monogamous. Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices