The Heart

The famed monologues created by Ashtar Theatre (Ramallah) in 2010 revisited by The Heart. “We still live as if death mistakes us. We — who are capable of remembrance — are capable of liberation.” ― Mahmoud Darwish Please give generously to the young people from Gaza who shared their stories in the series: empower them to reclaim their dreams HERE. Music: Marj Ibn Amer - Muqata’a

In this update-isode, we follow KP's whereabouts and goings-on since the Processing Palestine episode and the events that led to the genesis of our upcoming series: GREAT LOVE: The Gaza Monologues Revisited. Responding to Ashtar Theatre’s global call to share testimonies from young Gazans first performed in 2010, the series features a chain of personal connections from New York to Toronto to Jordan to Athens to Beirut to Nazareth to Jenin and most importantly: to Gaza. Connections that were forged in a moment of grief and at the same time share some dark-as-hell comedy, appreciation for the sublime, a little too much wine and the most important kind of love: the kind that makes you care about people far away that you haven't met yet. PLZ PLZ PLZ DONATE TO THE MERMAID JABER SCHOLARSHIP FUND PLZ PLZ PLZ [this is kp and she is on her knees begging you with tears in her eyes mkay] AKA the GO FUND ME we made: https://gofund.me/159b10af Music Credits: Simya - Muqata’a [Kamil Manqus] Mayss Invites Xlmxhkfi (in The Ruins Of A Tender Hearts) Mayssa Jallad - Markaz Azraq (December 6)

KP says sweet nothings about the great love of her life: SOUND. A shared moment and meditation: recorded at 4AM in Athens Greece with the window open as the rain fell, gazing at the Athenian mountains aka: former home of the Gods. Use this episode like you would a meditation app: come back to it when you need a moment of peace. Take out the meditation pillow. Play it when you’re taking psychedelic drugs. Use it to relax during your break at work. Play it with a group of friends on a road trip. Play while you take a bath. Half ambient music, half guided meditation, half transcendental experience across the space-time continuum. Don't forget to DONATE to Mermaid Palace <3 We need your dollars to keep making feminist sound art! In this episode: Zeus [from KP: this was not staged. the moment I mentioned his name, he threw a thunderbolt and I happened to be recording. I share the moment AS IS.] The apartment of the badass artist and feminist Doreen Toutikian (check out her work! For pix of her gorgeous pad: follow KP on insta @kaitlinprest). An audience in LA singing with KP: the premiere of this performance, originally commissioned by the On Air Festival 2019. (thanks Scott and Jemma!). An audience in Milan singing with KP: the reason she was in Europe! (thank you to the friends who came all the way to Milan to see the piece: Juj, Ali, Rosa, Ariel and Doreen. Thank you Sarah, Martina and Andrea from Chora Media, and to the opera singers who practiced in the conservatory as KP walked in to do her sound check). Send us a recording of you singing along at hello@mermaidpalace.org!

The love story underneath the love story. We finally meet the real-life Charlie Park. Audio artist and friend Brendan Baker: the sound genius who inspired and supported KP to be the artist she is today. Real moments from the real relationship that started it all. If you are an artist or a writer interested in the complicated journey of translating real life into a fictional universe, this one is for you. If you are a regular human being interested in how love is born and grows and changes over the course of decades, this one is for you. We start with a full length audio doc about all of that. And then: the end of a romance. The anatomy of a breakup. The final chapter of “The Shadows”. This is the 6th episode of The Shadows, from CBC Podcasts. Made by Kaitlin Prest with production and co-writing from Phoebe Wang, editing by Sharon Mashihi, and associate production by Yasmine Mathurin. Cameos from Greg, Nancy, and Natalie Prest, Eliot Feenstra, Ian Field Stewart Raven Castle and the residency SMT. You hear Brendan Baker’s award-winning creations from the Love+Radio era. He is an audio fiction director, composer, and installation artist specializing in spatial audio and ambisonics currently scanning the horizon for his next big creative project. Leonard Cohen clip from “Leonard And Marianne” - Falling Tree Productions

The original unpublished title was “Anatomy of a Resentment”. This episode chronicles the era of a relationship wherein every minor annoyance is a symbol of the very major sacrifices we make to accommodate the shortcomings of the person we love. The story underneath the story: Mitchell Akiyama and KP spending 80+ hours pretending to be in a relationship in the summer of 2018. Fortunately, the frustrations you hear in this episode are (mostly) fiction. Six years later, Mitch and KP are Toronto besties. This is episode 5 of The Shadows, from CBC Podcasts, written and directed by Kaitlin Prest with production and sound design help from senior producer Phoebe Wang. Story editing by Sharon Mashihi. Associate producer Yasmine Mathurin made this episode sparkle. Mitchell Akiyama as Charlie Park with cameos from Kaitlin’s friends as well as Greg, Nancy, and Natalie Prest. Assistant production on this episode of The Heart by Yasaman Mansoori.

What is love? What is it really? bell hooks writes that love is something that we do. Not something that we feel. Not a story. So what do we do when we’re inside of a love that feels like a great love of the ages? The kind of romance that has a life of its own? The story underneath the story in this episode is meeting Johnny Spence. The performer and musician that breathed life into the character “Devon”. Former owner of sweater. This is episode 4 of The Shadows, from CBC Podcasts, made by Kaitlin Prest in collaboration with Phoebe Wang. Musician and artist Johnny Spence performs as Devon. Mitchell Akiyama as Charlie Park. Edited by Sharon Mashihi. Appearances by playwright and animator (former puppeteer) Bekky O’Neill and Max Kelly. Assistant production on this episode by Yasaman Mansoori.

There are certain kinds of things a sweater spends its life dreaming about. Primarily: achieving the coveted position of: favourite. The story underneath the story of this episode is one that we will never tell. What we CAN tell: is that the sweater who speaks in this episode is real and it lives to this very day in KP’s trunk. It was given to her in the year 2014, 9 years ago this very week of November. She washed the sweater once and only once since then. The last time she wore it was last week. This is episode 3 of The Shadows, made by Kaitlin Prest in collaboration with Phoebe Wang and CBC Podcasts. Musician and artist Johnny Spence performs as Devon. Radio goddess Veronica Simmonds performs as Jean Simmonds. The series was edited by Sharon Mashihi, who also appears in this episode as the other sweaters abandoned in the sweater graveyard. “Palestine is a feminist issue”, Yazan Zahzah. Keep showing up. Donate to Ashtar Theater’s initiative for psycho-social relief interventions for affected youth in Ramallah. If you like this show and the other incredible shows on Radiotopia like Weight For It, Hang Up, Normal Gossip, Articles of Interest, The Stoop and more, participate in our fundraiser!

A window into the set-up from which an audio heartthrob emerged: Charlie Park. A neurotic and immensely talented puppeteer conceived of by artist Phoebe Wang and performed by sound artist Mitchell Akiyama. This is episode 2 of The Shadows from CBC Podcasts: an auto-fictional series in which KP explores the life she would have had if she’d become a puppeteer instead of a radio producer. There IS a Terry Gross cameo in this episode. Listen closely. You also hear the real life puppetry aficionados: Jessie Orr, Max Kelly and Bekky O’Neil. It’s fundraiser time! Donate to Radiotopia to support new Heart content and all of the other incredible shows on the network. We need your help to make more beautiful and heartfelt audio! AND: Don’t forget to call your representatives and support a ceasefire in Palestine. In the U.S. In Canada. In the U.K. Jewish Voice for Peace

As people all over the world grieve and struggle, KP invites you to take a moment to reflect, meditate, pray, manifest and grapple with the question of what those of us who are not there can do. Links and Resources from this episode: How to Stop a Genocide (while in the global north), Hussan S.K The Inside Story Podcast: What Influence Can International Opinion Have on the War In Gaza? [Al Jazeera] Jewish Voice for Peace: visit this site for straightforward actions to take in the U.S.A Save Palestine: Justice for All Canada: visit this site for straightforward actions to take in Canada 5 Solidarity Actions You Can Take in the UK Do Better: Spiritual Activism for Fighting and Healing from White Supremacy by Rachel Ricketts @officialjakegyllenhalal MC Abdul Thank you to all of the friends of KP who lent their voices and their experiences to this episode.

The story underneath the story: what happened after we made “Movies In Your Head”. In a clawfoot bathtub moaning in agony, “The Shadows” was conceived. KP’s first serialized fiction show: the story of having to choose between romanticism and realism. Does the fairy tale really exist? Or does it only exist at the beginning of a relationship? Our main character believes that she’ll be one of the outliers who will fall in love, and stay in love FOREVER. Featuring: episode 1 of “The Shadows” from CBC Podcasts. Edited by Sharon Mashihi, senior produced by Phoebe Wang, written directed and performed by Kaitlin Prest. Performances by Mitchell Akiyama, Jessie Orr, Max Kelly, Bekky O’Neil, Meagan Castle, Harry Knazan, Rizz Young. Special thanks to Haley Lewis. You hear the real Rumi restaurant in this episode. You can find this beautiful establishment on rue Hutchinson in Montreal.

Have you ever fallen a little too hard a little too fast in love with someone you’ve just met? Have you ever caught yourself imagining the beautiful house in the country the two of you would grow old together in? We go back in time to the era before the term ‘ghosting’ had been coined and explore the phenomenon that Ayinde Bennett calls “making movies in your head”. Featuring: the Prix Italia Gold Award winning radio play (the first podcast to win a Prix Italia! That’s some radio history!) co-created with composer and sound designer Shani Aviram. Associate production by Shira Bannerman, editing and performance by Mitra Kaboli, advising by Sharon Mashihi, performed written and directed by Kaitlin Prest, art by Jen Ng.

In the final episode of the series Kaitlin isn't sure whether or not she truly wants to get into it with her father. Kaitlin is conflicted. Is having one last conversation with her Dad on tape a good idea? Does she have the courage to confront her dad face to face? Resources for accountability and healing at https://www.theheartradio.org/dad

Episode 3: At age 33, Kaitlin is stranded living with her parents in Ottawa, living in their basement just like she did when she was a teenager. It's the first time she and her dad have lived together since the period the family euphemistically calls 'the dark years'. Trigger Warning - discussion and depictions of parental abuse. For resources go to theheartradio.org/dad

Episode 2: Kaitlin's father, Greg, proudly claims the title of mister mom in 1986. He's always wanted to be a dad. When the apple of his eye enters her tween years and starts hating him he struggles to be the kind of dad he thought he should be. Trigger Warning: topics related to parental abuse, trauma, self-gaslighting, gaslighting. For resources go to theheartradio.org/dad

Episode 1: Kaitlin and her Dad fought so much when she was a teenager that the family calls those years '“World War III”. She tells the story of what happened after she left home and decided to love him anyway. As she became an adult, therapists and friends urged her to examine what really happened in those years. When she tries to talk about it with the family, she knows she has a big decision to make. Trigger Warning: topics related to parental abuse, trauma, self-gaslighting, gaslighting, defensiveness, victim blaming Resources at theheartradio.org/dad

Kaitlin and Natalie Prest do a post-game analysis after creating the 5 episode series: SISTERS. The two sisters unpack all the things that didn’t get said in the narrative series, discuss topics that were raised and answer a couple of listener questions. The sisters open up about their personal experiences touching on topics such as mental health, diagnoses, self-care, borderline personality disorder, dialectical based therapy, and methods to ask for help from loved ones during times of struggle.

Kaitlin and Natalie try to create boundaries for the first time in their lifelong relationship. They work to navigate their relationship together and separately. As they embark on creating the final episode of this series, they realize they are having fun again.

We go back in time to before Kaitlin hired Natalie. She brings us inside of her uncertain world, and her journey to figure out what is wrong. TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal ideation, reference to childhood and sexual trauma (no depictions), borderline personality disorder

It’s the pandemic, and KP hires her younger sister to work at her company. As an assistant producer. Natalie is having flashbacks to their youth, when she performed as the butler at Kaitlin’s dinner parties. Is this the new version of the butler role? As they set out to make art together, attempting to do it in a way that doesn’t reinforce old childhood patterns Natalie finally sees who Kaitlin is on a day to day basis. TW: suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, alcohol.

Natalie and Kaitlin go into their 20s living separate and faraway lives. Kaitlin comes home from New York for christmas every year, and they hug and talk into the night, falling asleep spooning like they did when they were little girls. Kaitlin makes a grand gesture and buys tickets to go on a special sister adventure: to the Jem and Holograms Convention. What ends up happening at the convention is something neither of them saw coming.